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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bike ride, shops and cafe after fever and headache

45 replies

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:21

Dc was ill yesterday, bad headache, crying, tired and temperature at 39.1
I said to just have a rest day today-a day on the sofa with films, books.
Dh just taken her on a bike ride and to the cafe and shop to buy things

Aibu in thinking it’s not ideal

OP posts:
Evaka · 14/06/2026 11:23

How old is she? Did she want to go?

Anarchy99 · 14/06/2026 11:23

Is she likely to be contagious?

tiramisugelato · 14/06/2026 11:24

Was she feeling better this morning?

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:25

Evaka · 14/06/2026 11:23

How old is she? Did she want to go?

8, she said she feels better aside from headache, I can’t see how recovery can be that quick and should just relax today. We went out yesterday morning until after lunch, she then felt ill.

OP posts:
tiramisugelato · 14/06/2026 11:26

If she just has a headache then fresh air is better than TV.

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:26

Anarchy99 · 14/06/2026 11:23

Is she likely to be contagious?

I don’t know

OP posts:
angelikacpickles · 14/06/2026 11:26

If she feels OK then I think it's fine. Kids tend to bounce back quickly from illness.

stiffasanironingboard · 14/06/2026 11:27

If she’s perfectly well this morning, YABU. DC sometimes spike random fevers and illness.

If not feeling 100%, or it looks more like a virus that could infect others, you are not being unreasonable.

too little information to be able to give a sound answer.

DameOfThrones · 14/06/2026 11:27

Kids tend to bounce back like a bungee cord.

If she says she's well enough then I'd believe her.

But if she's anything like I was as a kid, tomorrow morning she may claim you were right just to get a day off school 😁

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:28

tiramisugelato · 14/06/2026 11:26

If she just has a headache then fresh air is better than TV.

We had a busy half day yesterday, she’s always doing things, having been so tired yesterday, I thought a full day just letting her body recover would be best

OP posts:
Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:28

angelikacpickles · 14/06/2026 11:26

If she feels OK then I think it's fine. Kids tend to bounce back quickly from illness.

That quickly though? Crying and awake through the night?

OP posts:
tiramisugelato · 14/06/2026 11:28

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:28

We had a busy half day yesterday, she’s always doing things, having been so tired yesterday, I thought a full day just letting her body recover would be best

She's had a full night's sleep to recover. If she wanted to go then it's fine that she went, it's not like she's vomiting or anything.

DameOfThrones · 14/06/2026 11:29

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:28

That quickly though? Crying and awake through the night?

Yes of course that quickly!

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:29

DameOfThrones · 14/06/2026 11:29

Yes of course that quickly!

We tend to have a few days of illness in the past with a fever

OP posts:
angelikacpickles · 14/06/2026 11:30

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:28

That quickly though? Crying and awake through the night?

You said nothing in your OP about crying and awake through the night. Even so, if she feels OK now, then she feels OK. If your DH forced her out when she didn't feel up to it, then that's different, but if she's back to herself then I don't think it's a big deal.

tiramisugelato · 14/06/2026 11:30

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:29

We tend to have a few days of illness in the past with a fever

Well, if she feels unwell they can come home. It's not a big deal.

Evaka · 14/06/2026 11:37

She's big enough to know she was ok to go out. Unless there's a drip feed coming that the shop and cafe are 200km away over a mountain range I'd give it no further thought.

DameOfThrones · 14/06/2026 11:38

No-one's forcing a reluctant 8 year old onto a bike anyway, let alone when they're ill.

She wanted to go so she went.

And as others have said if she feels ill, she can come home again.

But ultimately I don't think it's wise to force rest on anyone who's telling you they're fine.

This sort of thing can destroy resilience which many adults actually lack.

ChalkOutlines · 14/06/2026 11:40

Did he force her to go out? If she flops, is he likely to notice and bring her back or make her muddle through? Did she want to go out?

completelylostagain · 14/06/2026 11:45

You not doing her any favours by the ‘stay at home and rest’ things if she says she is fine and wants to go with her dad. Kids are resilient and it’s far better to encourage them to crack on after a bad day than it is to mollycoddle them and force rest that they don’t need. If she isn’t ok surely she can just come home and rest up anyway?

HideousKinky · 14/06/2026 11:47

If she wanted to go and felt up to it, that's fine.
Her dad can always bring her back if necessary

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:50

completelylostagain · 14/06/2026 11:45

You not doing her any favours by the ‘stay at home and rest’ things if she says she is fine and wants to go with her dad. Kids are resilient and it’s far better to encourage them to crack on after a bad day than it is to mollycoddle them and force rest that they don’t need. If she isn’t ok surely she can just come home and rest up anyway?

I just thought one day to just chill, especially before school tomorrow. My thinking is if she goes a does a load of stuff now, it could make her worse later/tomorrow as she’s not had time to just rest for a day.

OP posts:
angelikacpickles · 14/06/2026 11:54

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:50

I just thought one day to just chill, especially before school tomorrow. My thinking is if she goes a does a load of stuff now, it could make her worse later/tomorrow as she’s not had time to just rest for a day.

You seem to want there to be an issue. You may have approached it differently but what your DH has done is not unreasonable if your DD is feeling up to it.

ChalkOutlines · 14/06/2026 11:55

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:50

I just thought one day to just chill, especially before school tomorrow. My thinking is if she goes a does a load of stuff now, it could make her worse later/tomorrow as she’s not had time to just rest for a day.

Did you want a chill day for yourself too? And now you’re fearing you’re missing out/ feeling guilty they’re out and about and you’re not doing much?

Partyplanningaintfortheweak · 14/06/2026 11:59

angelikacpickles · 14/06/2026 11:54

You seem to want there to be an issue. You may have approached it differently but what your DH has done is not unreasonable if your DD is feeling up to it.

Ok, it’s me though that has to stress if she isn’t well enough for school
We have v different ideas about parenting!
Eg-This morning he lets her play games on his phone for two hours, I don’t agree with phones and especially when she’s had a bad headache
Taking her out has probably added to this
Wanted to see others thoughts when it comes to kids being ill the day before with high fever and lethargy

OP posts: