Should I carry on going to these nights out

[TheAmberSnake]

I like to go to a particular event with a friend that is held every few months. She doesn't want to go anymore, it is not her scene.
We have got to know other people there & I speak to a couple of women who go there on their own. I'm a bit nervous of going on my own in case I feel like a spare part.
But here is my dilemma. We have been welcomed with open arms by a group of men. No ulterior motives from any of them. When I discussed about going on my own they said I could hang around with them. The trouble is a connection is starting to develop with one of them so I don't know whether to go on my own. I really want to carry on going because I love the event; but I'd be lying if I said he wasn't an influence on my decision to go on my own. Nothing can develop from this connection though, & nothing will. He feels it too, we've discussed it last month.
Is it going to look like I'm going so that I can chase him? Will I look like a pain in the ass hanger on, a spare part?
I think I shouldn't go as this is what I'll look like, but life is too short to not go to things you enjoy doing.

Is this event like a Swingers Party?

If you read my latest update 2 posts up from yours you will see that I am able to control myself

Yes, how did you guess

Who cares what you look like to other people? What matters is that you're in a relationship. Do you want it to continue or not?

I wouldn't go to an event if I was attached and I had had a conversation with someone else who was attached and we had both expressed a mutual romantic interest in one another. It really is that simple.

Good for you. Wise decision! No ulterior motive my arse!

No, you're avoiding the situation instead. Are you not able to go along and enjoy an event, but not 'gravitate' towards him?

The whole situation sounds pretty stupid.

If you can’t ignore him at the event, you stop attending.

if your relationship is “magnetic”, then what you are starting is an emotional affair. BTDT. You have to make a choice. Your current relationship or this activity and this man.

If your current relationship is awful, then break if off. Then you are free to live your life however you choose. Just do it first before this goes any further.

That includes just casual conversations at an activity with someone who feels like more than an acquaintance.

Don’t go. Don’t be around a married man that you’re attracted to, it’s asking for trouble.

If you have your eye on this whilst with someone else then you need to rethink your relationship. People in happy relationships don’t look elsewhere. You’ve already crossed a line by discussing with each other.

Are your partners aware that you attend this type of event?

It's a swingers event apparently not a knitting circle.

Good choice. No contact whatsoever with him. Better for you and for your family

Not swingers or knitting circle, it's Northern Soul nights.

If you enjoy the event and can keep your feelings in check, a little frisson of excitement making the event seem a tad more fun, isn't a big deal (wouldn't be to me, anyway). I certainly wouldn't not go to the event because of what others might think or say. Just do you (with integrity and honesty).

Yes, you are.

What is that? I have ne er heard of it?

Oh yes I’ve been to a few of those Northern Soul day/nights and full of married men ☹️

Basically your making excuses to go to the event and start an affair with the man. If you go that's probably what will happen