To have confronted neighbour?

[Chefpig]

Since I moved in to my current house a year ago, my next door neighbour has stared in. He strains his neck to do so the whole time he walks past and if he gets a taxi, he still stares in as he is getting in to the taxi.

His dog barks a lot and him and especially his wife scream and shout at the dog to shut it up. I ended up going to the council a month or so back and at first when they must have received a letter, they started shutting the dog up as soon as it barked, which I appreciated, but just lately the dog is barking for longer periods and into the evenings. I've been woken up several times this week and I get up at 4.30am.

Anyway, tonight the dog had been barking pretty much constantly from 6.30pm - 9.45pm and the wife had been shouting at the dog and then they argued very loudly. Eventually at 9.45pm, he went out, and true to form, stared in as he went past the full length of my house. I was in my pyjamas and felt very uncomfortable at being stared in at. I went to the door and asked him to please stop staring in each time he goes past. At first he denied that he does it, but I told him he does and to stop. He then apologised for doing so. I also asked him to stop the dog barking so much and suggested that they stop shouting at the dog as it will make it bark more and to perhaps engage a trainer.

WIBU? I hate confrontation so much, but I keep myself to myself and live alone and i'm very quiet. I rarely play music and keep my TV very low. The situation is causing huge stress and anxiety.

The dog barking and fighting - definitely worth a mention. Him looking in the window for a few seconds - not worth a mention!

I think it's human nature to look in windows as you walk past (or maybe I'm just nosy). At least he sounds reasonable (didn't tell you to fuck off).

1. Dog or dogs? You have mentioned that it's a dog all through your OP then your update talks about them in the plural more than once.
2. I'm struggling to imagine a setup where you live with your frontage on the pavement (indicating high density housing) so your neighbour can just walk past but you aren't overlooked by anyone else at the front so you can see a sunset and generally have privacy from anyone else so you don't think you need some curtains/voile/nets.
3. You're spending a lot of time observing his comings and goings and doings but don't like it when he does the same back, no?

Maybe you could come back and clarify all of this?

Okay so it looks like you need to pick:

Birds and sunset from that specific window

OR

privacy film and look at the sunset and birds out of a different window.

Privacy film is £10 or so lets light in and a billion designs

I’d advise against privacy screens that you stick on the windows 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 my neighbours got them and you can still see inside their house when they have lights on or if the sun is shining through the windows

I'm always surprised when people don't see the difference between looking out of your window into the street - a public space and someone looking into windows at people's private space. You shouldn't have to put up net curtains or blinds but unfortunately people are nosey and will look in. I see lots of people pass my house and the only one who ever looked in was a neighbour; a neighbour who has been in my house so actually seen it all before. The last time I made eye contact with her and mouthed "What?" She looked away and I think was embarrassed and also annoyed, but she hasn't peered in since.

Maybe do the same to him or some hand gesture that will let him know you can see him looking in - a sarcastic double thumbs up maybe. I wouldn't give the finger as that's more aggressive than I'd want to be, but I would do something to embarrass him.

No wonder the poor dog barks, it is bored shitless; never sees the outside world or gets any exercise poor thing

I wasn't staring at him. I was writing but when someone goes past and actively stares in for the whole length of the time he walks past and strains his neck to do so, its hard not to notice. When he does it every single day its difficult to not get riled up by it. Im entitled to my privacy and actually dont mind the odd stranger staring in, which for a busy-ish street is rare because people tend not to be rude.

It doesnt and all it sees of the outside world is the square confines of the back yard. Its very active. I've seen it move, its very wick, jumps from side to side when barking in tje window, and it looks more than capable of a daily walk or two. The neighbours both have mobility difficulties as he walks with a stick but walks quicker than me and goes out several times a day to the local supermarket. She barely goes out. No reason he couldn't walk the dog on a daily basis. Laziness in keeping the dog active and in training it.

Cheeky fuckers arent they? I wanted to scream at him that hes subjected me to a year of stress with the dog barking, them shouting at it, their arguments, and is also being doubley antisocial by staring into my window. I have done a comedy wave before now to see what he'd do and he didnt wave back or anything. I suspect he looks in because I get so sick of his dog barking.

You're watching him, he's watching you! He feels no embarrassment with staring into your window so he won't stop.

Solution - blinds or privacy film or nets. Easy!

There are two. One doesnt bark. Its also overweight and very frail. I imagine its living a miserable life with them.

Did you have a light on? If so I can see why some would find it tempting to be looking.
With the light off I’m surprised there would be much he could see especially that late in the evening - but still v rude of him. Have you tried actually asking him not too?
im intrigued at how you get enough sleep if you get up at 4;30am but are still up and about gone 9pm!
Edit -just spotted you have already tried asking. I’m intrigued at where you live that you’ve got people walking past your front window but can also see birds and the sunset. All I can see from mine is houses and cars and a bit of sky.

So you’re watching the dog jumping in the window when you walk past their house, but don’t want the neighbours looking through your window when they walk past their house?
The only way I know if someone is looking in my window when walking past is if I’m looking out of the window. My mum used to call this ‘tooting’.

Don’t scream at him, just ignore him, it could be worse, you are in a council property that alone ups the risk of an antisocial neighbour causing you distress. The joys of social housing.
Hopefully he won’t do it again or transfer the property to a family with a wild children and dogs, dogs bark, maybe knock and say them screaming at the dog is worse so if you could all move forward quietly.
i have reads some nightmare neighbours threads and experienced it first hand, you are obviously focused on them too. Just ignore each other before it escalates.

This is a weird thread why is everyone trying to catch the OP out about numbers of dogs.

As for curtains - it’s the middle of summer. I wouldn’t want to sit in my house with the curtains drawn in full daylight. I don’t think anyone should have to barricade themselves in for the sake of privacy - like cutting your nose off. Also if there aren’t many people coming past i’m imagining rural area where the view is part of the draw. Nets and film would also wreck that. No one wants to live in a pretty area then not be able to see out of their own windows!

@Chefpig - for dog I think get some decent ear plugs for sleep. You can report again but realistically there is only so much you can do.

For privacy I think just keep calling him out on it like you did.

You can’t have been that embarrassed seen in your pyjamas if you ran out to the door to give him a piece of your mind wearing them. How old is this couple? I get the impression that they’re older than you?
You’ve had a go twice, said your piece, let it go.
I don’t know why you didn’t knocking their door months ago instead of involving the council first.

Thank you. I'm not in a council property. Its a decent area but like everywhere has antisocial behaviour. There are too many dog owners that don't train their dogs, I find.

I agree with you around dog training. My neighbour behind locks her dog out to use the toilet at 10.30 every night for 15 minutes while it barks his head off. Neighbour two doors down have young children, between the children and the dog barking alongside it is annoying, but I try to keep it to myself.
Hopefully he’ll stop staring into your home now.

I'd be tempted to put a sign in the window saying 'fuck off'

Very classy not