To have confronted neighbour?

[Chefpig]

Since I moved in to my current house a year ago, my next door neighbour has stared in. He strains his neck to do so the whole time he walks past and if he gets a taxi, he still stares in as he is getting in to the taxi.

His dog barks a lot and him and especially his wife scream and shout at the dog to shut it up. I ended up going to the council a month or so back and at first when they must have received a letter, they started shutting the dog up as soon as it barked, which I appreciated, but just lately the dog is barking for longer periods and into the evenings. I've been woken up several times this week and I get up at 4.30am.

Anyway, tonight the dog had been barking pretty much constantly from 6.30pm - 9.45pm and the wife had been shouting at the dog and then they argued very loudly. Eventually at 9.45pm, he went out, and true to form, stared in as he went past the full length of my house. I was in my pyjamas and felt very uncomfortable at being stared in at. I went to the door and asked him to please stop staring in each time he goes past. At first he denied that he does it, but I told him he does and to stop. He then apologised for doing so. I also asked him to stop the dog barking so much and suggested that they stop shouting at the dog as it will make it bark more and to perhaps engage a trainer.

WIBU? I hate confrontation so much, but I keep myself to myself and live alone and i'm very quiet. I rarely play music and keep my TV very low. The situation is causing huge stress and anxiety.

Don’t you have curtains?

Can't you close your curtains and get blinds?

They do sound inconsiderate. Your confronting him sounds very good - you explained the problem, so now they have the opportunity to fix it with no risk of misunderstanding. Well done.
Re the staring in, just get a net curtain which you can fix very easily by screwing little hooks in either side of the window and stretching the net cord between it. Or sheer blinds for privacy - more stylish but more faff to fix up.

Put up some privacy window film. Do they walk the dog. Dogs bark when they are bored or anxious. My old neighbours dog used to bark & whine so I used to take it for a walk as they never walked the poor dog.

Sounds like you've appropriately addressed the problem and hopefully that'll be the end of it, well done. Sorted. You've been very reasonable.

Hi, they never walk the dogs. Just let them out into the garden at periods throughout the day.

I do, but it was still light outside and people very rarely walk past. I was enjoying looking out at the birds and the sunset.

Life is short, you’ve already reported them for the dog barking. I wouldn’t have confronted him, if you know he goes out at 9.30 close your curtains, he’s probably wondering why you are staring out the window at him too.
I think it’s best to ignore minor annoyances for the sake of a peaceful life, more peaceful than neighbours squabbling.

Fair play for addressing him directly.

Could you get nets, or blinds or that sticky back plastic frosted stuff so he can’t look in. They come in at various price points so one option should hopefully be manageable to you?

Can you get that privacy film (one way mirror film) which is clear from inside but has a mirror effect from outside? Then he would only see his own stupid reflection gawping back at him. You would still be able to see out and it would give you a feeling of power. at being able to observe others without them knowing. And you can still dress how you want.

Where has the second dog sprung from? There was only one dog all the way through your OP.

I think you were perfectly reasonable. Well done for having a conversation (it wasn't a confrontation).

Can you get that privacy film (one way mirror film) which is clear from inside but has a mirror effect from outside?

This sounds truly revolting. It would make a house look like a dodgy massage parlour.

Net curtains allow you to look out but people outside can’t see in, during the day when it’s light out. Once you turn your lights on you need to shut your other curtains.

No advice for dealing with the dog, other than reporting them for cruelty as you say they never walk it.

There is no way in holy hell I’d stick film on my sitting room window and block my own view of my own garden, ruining my own enjoyment of the sunset, because my neighbour can’t be a normal non-weirdo and not look in at me in my PJs.

YANBU. You’ve addressed it- good for you!

Possibly a stupid point here, you said you were in pjs and uncomfortable about the man staring in. Do you have some sort of blind/curtain? Why would you have a window open for people to see if you felt that way?

🤣🤣🤣 dodgy massage parlour. Never thought of that with the film. When my mum and dad added the extra porch extension with French type double front door that was clear glass my dad took the "humph" (went in the huff) and bought the film stuff for privacy (his words). My mum said what bloody privacy? Its the bloody front door? His words? " I might need to use the toilet next to it" 🙄 shut the fucking bathroom door then Bernard"😒 🙄 🤣

Which no-one can stop you from doing.

He enjoys looking at your window which you can’t stop him from doing.

Only one of you is unhappy here and since it’s not him, you’ll either have to close your blinds or put up with it.

It’s not rocket science.

The whole window drama can be solved with privacy film if you choose not to use curtains. So that could have been dealt with on zero drama.

The dog is different and sounds like council assistance was the right path.

Make a banner saying STOP STARING and stick it in your window.

You enjoy looking out, and let's be honest you are also looking at your neighbors and where they are going and how but are offended by someone looking in.

Weird.

What is wrong with a net curtain? I had this argument with my Mum she liked walking around naked , but hated net curtains- it's a straight choice, if people can see in it is your responsibility to do something about , not theirs not to look.

Just close your curtains.

He’s looking in just in case you’re in your pyjamas.

Am I the only one thinking that?