AIBU to question a HLTA leaving after a pupil’s comment?

[sertt]

Hi, HLTA who was covering my class on PPA this week, walked out of school after a child called her fat. Just wondered whether staff can leave throughout the day and self certify with stress.

The HLTA did not return to work for the rest of the week.

It would be really nice to know whether this kid was 6 or 16.

I do hope we haven't fallen for another Saturday night contentious one hit wonder thread...

She's unreasonable. I worked as an LSA. You need a thick skin. Awful, weak behaviour to walk out on her responsibilities.

Lots of children provoke staff to enable them to leave the classroom, standing outside the classroom or being sent to the heads office is often seen as a badge of honour, by both children and parents… little scamps!

Schools can be very inconsistent - some children will feel the full force of a behaviour policy, others not so much.
The teacher should support the TA and take steps to ensure that pupils speak to members of staff in a respectful manner. That the teacher is on here, asking whether the TA can legitimately leave the premises, seems like she's looking to criticise, rather than support and ensure appropriate behaviour from children in her classroom.

She definitely seems more annoyed that she missed on her PPA , than concerned for a colleague.

Wouldn't it be lovely if the staff had the backing of SLT to do that.

My colleague was called a "stupid fucking moron" by a child recently. It took 25 minutes before someone senior arrived and the child then told that person that they were a "twat".

The child got one day in isolation for that.

I've heard of primary staff including TAs being told that they should expect to be abused as part of their job.

The expectation that this TA shouldn't be upset at being so personally insulted is part of that.

She had every right to be upset but imo she shouldn't have walked out.

However, if the OP doesn't return soon I'd say my earlier post was correct.

In the wrong job.

Sometimes better to walk out than to call a pupil a dick

It kind of is part of the job tbh. It's like working in a pub, or as a Dr's receptionist. Many people will be lovely, but you're in contact with everyone and at a potentially tricky time for some of them, so some will be very rude. No, people shouldn't be very rude, but stressed people always will be - and if you choose to work with people who have less inhibitions (like kids, stressed ill people, MH problems etc.) then it will happen more.

Some jobs you just shouldn't do if you don't have a thick skin. Now, I am sure every MN child is lovely and polite 😉 but that is definitely not the case with working with kids in general. Plenty of kids can be and frequently are shockingly and deliberately hurtful. I've known an 8 year old graphically wish miscarriage on the SENDCO before booting her in the stomach - now that did shock me. Being called fat is nothing in a school. There are other jobs without personal rudeness, I'm told.(Though I've only done school, retail and cleaning and people are bloody rude in all of them! Schools worst though.) School is not the place to work if rudeness and personal comments are too much.

It completely depends on the age. As a TA I had nursery and Reception children make various unpleasant comments about my appearance which would have been very hurtful if said by an adult, but they didn't mean any harm. One little girl poked me in the belly and asked when my baby was coming out. I was not pregnant - but I knew she had a new baby sibling which is why the idea was in her head. Small children can be very blunt and it's our job as adults to teach them in an age-appropriate way not to comment on what people look like - instead of assuming the worst and taking offense.

Upper primary or secondary, though, and it's far more likely the comments were intended to hurt. I'd still say that should be a behaviour management issue instead of something to get upset about, but if the HLTA felt unsupported or had other issues causing stress, I can understand being overwhelmed enough to leave. Definitely not ideal - but better that than losing it and saying something nasty back!

School staff are human too and can only take so much. Everyone has a breaking point and we need to stop pushing support staff to that point because it’s “expected”

Any staff member can leave work if they are feeling unwell, regardless of the profession they are employed in. As PP said, I image she had just reached her breaking point.

It is the OP's business if she lost her statutory non contact planning and preparation time because the scheduled cover for her class walked out.

If all school staff walked out after being abused by students, SMT might do something about it.

That’s up to SLT to cover/manage.

It's not. The TA isn't her employee. If the PPA time was lost, then it's the SLT's responsibility to rectify that and to resolve the situation with the TA.

If a person is unwell yes they can go home and SLT who are paid to deal with absence can sort it out

It sounds like your class need beter behaviour management and a chat about being kind

Your priority should be checking if she’s ok and working out what you can do to support her.

Are you medically qualified to assess the HLTA?
Unless you are their line manager then you have no need to have the details of their medical health.

Scamps? I could think of better ways to describe these horrible kids

Ex teacher

yes, both teachers and TAs can leave part way through the day if unwell and I have seen many times this happening.

I was in a secondary and usually we spoke to the hod (to be honest usually it was the hod saying you are ill go home and I don’t want to see you for a few days) who sorted cover.

also stepping out of lessons is recommended if necessary. Some classes are extremely difficult and every year (if not every week) a teacher steps out for a bit and sometimes winds up in tears in the staff room,

we actually had a rota for who covered “unexpected absences” like this as they were frequent.

As others have said, it's likely this was the final straw. Guessing you only know part of the story.
I worked in a school where a supply teacher walked, it was secondary and the class wouldn't sit in the seating plan and kept lying about who they were. I kind of admired her attitude!

If she was upset and knew she was not going to be able to manage for the rest of the day then absolutely she should have left and gone home. Would you rather she stayed and was visibly distressed and/or unable to do her job?