AIBU to question a HLTA leaving after a pupil’s comment?

[sertt]

Hi, HLTA who was covering my class on PPA this week, walked out of school after a child called her fat. Just wondered whether staff can leave throughout the day and self certify with stress.

The HLTA did not return to work for the rest of the week.

Yes they can.

Well was she fat?

If you work with kids then kids say honest stuff sometimes. As an adult needs to take this with a pinch of salt.

Walking out over such a comment is very unprofessional.

Surely any employee can leave any job at any time if they become unwell?

It was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

It sounds like this was the straw that broke the camels back if she was already struggling.

leaving during the day isn’t ideal but if she isn’t well she isn’t well. We wouldn’t question someone going home if they threw up would we.

The poor woman might have a history of disordered eating and related anxiety etc connected to her body image. She might already be struggling with stress in her life or at school in particular. We can’t really know if it’s “just” one comment or part of something wider going on for her.

If you work with kids then kids say honest stuff sometimes

Depends on the age of the child. Reception, maybe. Yr6 should know it's extremely rude to make personal remarks.

She could earn more money working in Tesco, so she will feel no compunction to stay in a verbally abusive situation. Have you issued a consequence to the rude child?

If she was puking her guts in the toilets at lunch , would you question her going home and being off the next day?

Let’s be honest here.. it wasn’t just because ONE comment , was it?

I wonder if the rude pupil and their parents would be upset if the teacher was honest and said “well at least I can lose weight, what’s the plan for your ugly face?”

honesty isn’t it?

Yes of course she "can" walk out. It's not a prison. And anyone can self certify up to 7 days sickness absence. Lots of threads denigrating people suffering from stress lately.

Given that we're not allowed to be honest about kids being lazy, rude and downright unpleasant without parents hammering at the door to complain about their children's wellbeing, I'd suggest that walking out was the only appropriate response.

This. Children should be reprimanded for rude, disrespectful and inappropriate comments - perhaps the parents spoken to later on - then you move on.

Surely the answer is in your sickness policy not here? Employees can self-certify up to 7 days. Stress is an absence category!

You're not her boss. Myob

Well it depends whether it was a one off, factual/matter of fact comment, or the 17th that day, or “I’ll punch you in your fucking fat face”(been there, done that), or accompanied by threats and /or violence, or other rude/inappropriate behaviours from that particular pupil or others. It soon adds up. Especially if coworkers/SLT are dismissive, not helpful and can’t be arsed to actually apply the behaviour policy.

It’s not unprofessional to walk out. In fact, we are advised to if we’re at our limit. Indeed, it’s about taking 5/10/15 minutes not actually leaving the premises , but hey ho, sometimes needs must.

I get asked if I'm pregnant at least once a fortnight by school kids. When I say no, the next question is invariably why my stomach is fat then. Sometimes it'll happen multiple times in a day! Kids are rude, sometimes it's accidental, sometimes not, but you can't let them know if it gets to you: they're savage and they forget nothing.

That staff member just showed everyone how to break her. She'll probably hear that from any kid that wants to get to her now. I had a Y6 be so obnoxious a couple of days after my mum's suicide that I locked myself in a cupboard to cry because it was closer than the staff room and I couldn't get any further - but I bollocked that kid for being obnoxious and dumped him on SLT first. Only staff knew about it really. You have to hide it; the wee sods can smell weakness a mile off.

But yes, obviously you can leave sick partway through a day and self cert. Just like for any other ailment.

Out of interest, how old was the child?

Highly unprofessional to walk out aside from a serious emergency. They are responsible for all the children in their care. Can you imagine if a nanny walked out when a toddler was having a meltdown.

To be be fair, the OP doesn't have to be her boss to be curious and ask a question.

Although if this is true, I'm quite surprised she didn't ask someone at work.

I completely disagree.

The correct response would be "your comment was rude and unacceptable. Stand outside the classroom/go to the headmasters office (or whatever is appropriate).

The child can then be dealt with appropriately.

A rude child will say things to get a reaction. The appropriate response is therefore not to react as this gives the child what they want.

TAs get paid buttons, no idea why anyone expects them to happily be a punching bag for that money.

I'm assuming that we aren't talking about a young class such as Reception and it was likely the straw that broke the camels back.

Maybe if more staff walked out due to verbal abuse, kids would generally be better behaved at school because parents would soon find their kids without a teacher.

No-one should be a punching bag at work for any money, so I'm not sure what this has to do with it.

In some schools (particularly primary) , you are not allowed to send kids out of class. In some schools SLT never come or when they do , are fucking useless.