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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be cross with my sil (who is lovely)

28 replies

plus3 · 23/06/2008 21:18

god it's soo hard to write this without sounding petty..here goes.

Parents in law have a lovely but very small cottage in norfolk, to which we all descend for a family weekend every summer. As both sons have got married and had babies the cottage has just gotten smaller and smaller.

The problem is that sil does not like having a bad night's sleep and therefore always wants to sleep inside.We have until last year rotated between the 2nd bedroom or the sofa bed.Their children (of which there are now 3) somehow always get the 3rd bedroom. Last year DH myself, DS and DD got the tent in the garden. Not a problem as SIL had just had the 3rd baby. All fine.

However, this year I have just been informed the weekend might not happen because I don't want to sleep in the tent again. Was not aware of this.

It is true that we did not have the best night's sleep as we were all in one small tent...but..

Sorry for the long post

OP posts:

juuule · 23/06/2008 21:24

How old are the children?
Can't the 2 couples have a bedroom each and the youngest children sleep in sleeping bags in the parents rooms.
Older children (if they are older) sleep in 3rd bedroom.

Original poster

plus3 · 23/06/2008 21:26

actually i think mostly what annoys me is this unspoken rule that their DC ALWAYS have the 3rd room and ours just have to bed down with us.

I'm being petty aren't I.

OP posts:

Love2bake · 23/06/2008 21:26

Cant you go seperately now that the families are bigger.

Then no-one has to sleep in a tent.

Original poster

plus3 · 23/06/2008 21:28

there are only 3 berooms - one for the PIL, one with a double bed and then 1 with a twin bed BUT there is literally only room for a travel cot in each room. The DCs age s range from 6 yrs to 1 yr

OP posts:

Original poster

plus3 · 23/06/2008 21:30

WE can go seperatley but on the whole it was lovely being there with everyone. This year we were going to borrow their bigger tent, so ensuring a better night's sleep.

OP posts:

lazarou · 23/06/2008 21:31

Sleeping in a tent in the garden? That sounds completely bizarre. Just book a hotel.

Snowstorm · 23/06/2008 21:32

Don't think you are being petty - think it would piss me off a bit too.

Agree with juuule's. If you can sort it out now (without falling out) then it might knock the problem on the head for the future.

Good luck with that!

MERLYPUSS · 23/06/2008 21:33

FWIW I thinks she's got a bloody cheek.

Original poster

plus3 · 23/06/2008 21:37

They refuse to have the Dc in with them! I suspect that this year they just not keen to go, and maybe I'm been scapegoated to help them out of disappointing my pil.

Really don't want to fall out over this hence the AIBU..

OP posts:

juuule · 23/06/2008 21:39

So, the 1yo would need to be in with your sil, I presume. Leaving 4 children to be accommodated.

How about one adult (dhs take turns)
sleeps on the sofabed and all the older children have sleeping bags downstairs. (I'm assuming that the sofabed is downstairs - sorry if I'm wrong).

Or, 2 children in with pil. 2 children in with you, leaving 1yo in with sil.

There has to be a better way than camping in the back garden (unless you prefer that, of course). And in their tent, too?

Love2bake · 23/06/2008 21:39

Get there hours early and put all your stuff in the rooms

lazarou · 23/06/2008 21:40

So you're being persecuted for not wanting to sleep ina shitty tent for the second year in a row?

Tell them all to sod off

Your sil does not sound lovely, she sounds selfish and pathetic

crokky · 23/06/2008 21:40

I don't think you are being petty.

Will the PILs have perhaps a 6yo in with them on the floor? What about lounge floor. Kids don't usually mind the floor - I went for 6 weeks without a bed when I was about 12. Floor was no prob. Draw the line at the garden though!

To defend SIL, however, there is NO WAY I would consider sleeping in a tent with a 1yo.

juuule · 23/06/2008 21:40

Why don't you just pick a w/e and go away with your pil and leave your sil and family for a different w/e.
She's the one refusing to compromise in any way so I can't see how you are to blame at all.

saggyhairyarse · 23/06/2008 21:42

Can't all the grown ups have a bedroom and the kids sleep in the lounge? Or grown ups on beds and kids on the floor? r agree to take it in turns to tent it? Only a few more years and the kids can camp on their own.

ravenAK · 23/06/2008 21:44

If you don't mind tenting it, just loudly make that clear so that she then has to come clean if she doesn't want to go!

Can all the dc (yours & theirs) sleep in bedroom 3 (under 2s in travel cots in parents' rooms)?

I'd try to keep the tradition up if you can, because once your respective dc are older, they can all camp & leave grownups the comfy beds!

Miggsie · 23/06/2008 21:44

Who told everyone you did not want the tent in the garden?

2point4kids · 23/06/2008 21:47

How about you in one bedroom and them in other bedroom and all kids have a camping adventure in the garden? (little ones in with you)

Kindersurprise · 23/06/2008 21:49

You don't sound at all petty and she does not sound lovely, she sounds demanding and spoilt. Why should you always have to rough it in the tent? And why should her DCs always have the bedroom? Very cheeky of her.

Parents a room each and the kids in the lounge seems like a good compromise, but I don't know how much sleep you are likely to get with all the kids in one room

Original poster

plus3 · 23/06/2008 21:52

My MIL today said that she didn't think that they were coming because SIL said she felt guilty about us having to be in the garden in a tent again!

We were in the tent last year with a 1yr old and 3.6 yr old as SIL had just had baby no3. (whilst their 2 girls had the twin room)

Agree - don't want all this to disappear cos as they all get older the Dc will be the ones camping out!

OP posts:

DirtySexyMummy · 23/06/2008 21:52

Er, what?

3 sets of adults. 3 bedrooms.

Why, in the name of christ, are kids getting bedroom priority and adults are in the garden tent

The adults get the bedrooms. The adults need more privacy and comfort. The kids can sleep all together in living room on sofas/floor, or in tents in the garden some nights.

They will probably think it is more fun anyway!

WinkyWinkola · 23/06/2008 21:53

The problem is that sil does not like having a bad night's sleep? Whaaaat? Who does? Who is she - the Queen Mother?

Sounds like you've been far too nice and accommodating for too long.

Why on earth would you want to sleep in a tent?

Get yourselves away and go somewhere else on holiday and stop being a martyr to your SIL. Blimey.

DirtySexyMummy · 23/06/2008 21:57

Yeah good point actually.

Obviously you love having a bad nights sleep

lazarou · 23/06/2008 22:01

ACtually, the tent may be a safe haven away from all those nutters. Plus, kids enjoy sleeping in tents.

Original poster

plus3 · 23/06/2008 22:01

we live much closer to pil than they do, so therefore see them often. MIL and SIL often clash (rather quietly) so wonder if it is peace-keeping on MIL front so she can see grandchildren more often.

Was happy to try the bigger tent (kids in one bit, us in the other) but am very cross with the suggestion that I'm the one causing the problem.!

The heckles have risen at the idea of being a martyr...easy-going yes..martyr not so keen on!

OP posts:

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