AIBU to keep my child's Reception party small and simple?

[Satwaiting]

There seems, to me, to be a bit of ‘one up man ship’ at school re kids parties, reception class where everyone gets an invite.
AIBU to invite just 10 and have a small party in my garden- I’ve a mud kitchen, a trampoline, and a slide/swing set. I mentioned this to another parent and was asked if I’m getting a face painter or entertainer and after looking that’s another £200 at least.
I was going to make a graze board with small sandwiches, cheeses, crudites, fruit bits, and make cupcakes (to hand out) instead of a birthday cake, but someone else said get a caterer in- been quoted £250! Whilst I’d appreciate someone else doing it, that seems a lot to me.
I just don’t think kids need all this, or am I being old fashioned? Money isn’t an issue, but will the 5 year olds be bored at a party like this.

I’ve done expensive and cheap parties and kids enjoy them about the same as long as there’s music, lots of balloons, and cake! The Cheap parties I’ve done I’ve put out areas of different activities or toys - one area with all dress up clothes, one with laces and beads for jewellery making, one for colouring. I’ve also done biscuit decorations, races, toilet roll mummy making, marhsmallow and spaghetti towers, then obviously musical statues etc. other friends have had cheap parties with a tent in the garden filled with books, teddies, craft etc

But block the doors you don’t want them to go into!

Your party sounds great as do the parties of those who hire and do an activity. We’ve done both for my 3 (now older kids) it certainly isn’t oneupmanship which in itself sounds a bit judgy so I’d start now by not comparing yourself to others - it makes parenting much easier. That aside is your garden big enough to also host the 10-20 (if both parents stay) parents who will also
inevitably stay as most seem unable to drop and go at that age?

It’s fine but I think you need structure for that many kids eg 3-4 party games, a craft activity, food and free play. Fine to do your own catering but do make a cake, or buy a cheap shop one.

Keeping it simple is really nice but maybe reconsider a big birthday cake - or double check with your child at least - lots of children love having a big creatively decorated cake with candles to blow out, as well as talking about it before or after, it makes them feel special

Here’s what we have for my DD’s birthday (we have 10 kids from 3.5-8 plus my own two):

We have garden toy stuff: trampoline, mud kitchen, sandpit, water table, climbing frame

Chalks for drawing on slabs etc.

Glitter tattoo pens and templates

Hula hoops

Stuff to make an obstacle course

Bubble machine

Rocks for painting/decorating

Toy-washing station (big bucket of soapy water and sponges and a collection of animals to wash - this has been such a hit with all ages of kids, a bit of a weird one but they love it!)

Pop-up tent (this is helpful for anyone who needs a quiet moment! I usually stick some Lego/books/cushions in).

Bluetooth speaker for some music (and in case we want to do any games!

I might do some parachute games with them (there’s a good one with the bubble machine!), but last party they were just happy free range so we didn’t end up doing any of the games.

I might try balloon tennis with them this year - it’s pretty fun. You tape paper plates onto lolly sticks and use them to bat balloons about.

We did old fashioned parties for our kids as we couldn’t afford play barns etc. played all the usual games- pass the parcel, musical statues etc. Like a pp said - it was different to what everyone else had so the kids really liked it.

No need to go over the top for little kids at all. Expensive parties for five year olds are great if you want to reduce the stress and work involved but I don’t think kids really care at all. A few parties my five year old has been to this year have been garden parties with nothing more than normal toys and the kids all loved it.

We did a party with an entertainer last year but did it as a joint party and shared the cost with the other parents. Next one will be even more lowkey than a garden - it’ll be a park party. Off to the park after school, anyone who wants to join us there is welcome and I’ll provide snacks and cake with no other stress whatsoever!

Sounds good but be aware that parents will stay with children this age so you will need food/drinks for them too as well as space!!

We’ve done this for more low key style for 2 years running now (nursery party and recent reception bday party) and it’s great! The idea of hosting 30 plus children and parents in a venue just filled me with horror tbh so we had a max of 12 children, bouncy castle for £90, automatic bubble machine that was £5 off Vinted, temporary tattoos in various designs (which were £1 a pack!) shifted the sitting room speakers to face the garden windows outside and blew up as many balloons as I could without hyperventilating.

Also I do the individual packed lunch boxes (they come in a colourful pack of 10 from Tesco) as someone else mentioned, way less waste and food not left out going bad for hours. (For adults I raided Lidl’s bakery section for pastries and sausage rolls/ crisps and dip with soft drinks, pot of coffee/ tea and wine etc)
Dished out Tesco ice lollies and birthday cake to the kids towards the end and that was it! Was fab!

No issues with not spending a fortune but I wouldn't want to look after 10 kids for 2 hours you would need at least 3 adults. 1 to watch kids. 1 to do drinks and toilet. And 1 in case of injuries. You'll need rules for how many on the trampoline. Kids sneaking into your house. Parents rocking up with siblings too. I would find it all too stressful. I did a hall with entertainer and I made the food.

Great advice- thank you!
Am going to make some invitations this weekend with my DC and go for it!!

When I was a kid lots of parties were like this, it was perfectly usual. It wasn’t unstructured run around the house/garden though, we’d play party games like musical statues and pass the parcel. Had great fun.

I have done the big class parties, but mainly as my husband didn’t want the party at our house and I didn’t want anyone to feel left out. Now they are hitting year 1 and 3 they have more of their own friends so will be doing smaller parties moving forward but still probably something like bowling, cinema etc. When I haven’t wanted to do cupcakes or cake due to time a good alternative was a tower of doughnuts and they are also like cupcakes easy to hand out at the end. My kids have now requested them for every birthday party 🥳

A few games would be nice to lend a bit of structured fun, as otherwise it’s just a play date, albeit a lovely one!

The reason people often do whole class in reception is lots of kids haven't really settled into particular friendships so its a way to bypass trying to decide who to invite and avoiding leaving out quieter kids who aren't always at the front of mind.

No issues with the format but lots of kids will be quickly bored with crafts & at that age a fair number will respond better/participate more with a degree of adult led structure & organisation and will drift about aimlessly if just left to it.

10 is probably too many , though we had 15... supposed to be outside on a bouncy castle as early July. But it rained. We live in a Bungalow, they went into every room in the house pulling stuff out. Kids seemed very happy - we did pass the parcel and a few other games. Lots of parents stayed as well . It was chaos but fun. Grazing stuff seems fun ends up expensive and with waste and not great for allergies intolerrances. We go assembled plates with a few extras of stuff like crisps- ask parents allergies in advance .

Sorry I do think it’s a bit boring. What’s different from it being just a play date or getting together at a playground? I would have an activity or entertainment of some sort.

@Satwaiting. Do be careful about injuries on the trampoline.

I’d suggest some party games: pass the parcel, musical chairs, pin the tail on the donkey,etc. We had a treasure hunt. I put loads of coloured beads around the garden and dc had to look for them. Dc with the most was the winner. Perfectly doable with 10 and you don’t need anyone in or extra expense, but you need to set it up. We did obstacle races one year.

Which circles do you circulate in where y it's reasonab to hire caterers to feed 10 five year olds??? would a professional caterer even take on that job?

pass the parcel (mins, they expect a toy or sweet in every layer now), duck duck goose, musical statues, stuck in the mud, pin the tail on the creature of your child's current interest. couple of those if it gets a bit slow, some music, simple buffet, what 5 year old wouldn't have fun?

if it's warm weather you could suggest they bring swimming costumes and set up a paddling pool / water fight stuff, but obv that needs to be heavily supervised

does it matter if it's an overexcited play date? they're 5. playing, yummy tasty food and friends.

it'll feel special if there's decorations up, party bags, happy birthday song and cake.

Do you usually have 10 kids around for a play date and have a treasure hunt, pass the parcel etc. like OP has planned? If so I applaud your fortitude!

Kids generally don’t get bored of playing with their pals and eating cake.

Your party sounds lovely.
Yes to pass the parcel with pressie each layer (i used to do a picture book between each layer).
Yes to cupcakes to take home
Someone suggested bubbles and that would be a lovely addition to a garden party

@SleepingStandingUp If dc have never played pass the parcel, they won’t expect anything in each layer. These are YR dc. Keep it retro - 1 winner!

Best party my son went to was held in the town park. Big picnic. Cake. Dad and Grandad organised lots of games. Rounders, crab football, capture the flag. Lots of team games with hoops and balls etc. Mum popped to the shop for ice creams. Kids had a blast