AIBU to keep my child's Reception party small and simple?

[Satwaiting]

There seems, to me, to be a bit of ‘one up man ship’ at school re kids parties, reception class where everyone gets an invite.
AIBU to invite just 10 and have a small party in my garden- I’ve a mud kitchen, a trampoline, and a slide/swing set. I mentioned this to another parent and was asked if I’m getting a face painter or entertainer and after looking that’s another £200 at least.
I was going to make a graze board with small sandwiches, cheeses, crudites, fruit bits, and make cupcakes (to hand out) instead of a birthday cake, but someone else said get a caterer in- been quoted £250! Whilst I’d appreciate someone else doing it, that seems a lot to me.
I just don’t think kids need all this, or am I being old fashioned? Money isn’t an issue, but will the 5 year olds be bored at a party like this.

Of course it's not unreasonable, however, please don't give the invitations to the teacher to give out in front of everyone, its much better to give them directly to parents. The teacher has to do it front of all the other disappointed children and then field the questions from parents who think their child may have 'accidentally' lost theirs as opposed to them not actually being invited in the first place!

I think it sounds absolutely lovely! I would even lean into the old fashioned element and have jelly and ice cream, cheese and pineapple sticks etc. play Old fashioned party games.

If you wanted to chuck more money at it the only things that would (in my opinion/experience) be worth adding are a bubble machine; doesn’t have to be expensive you can get them from Asda/the works. And hiring a bouncy castle - the kids never want to come off it though as they love it so much - which can be a blessing or a curse!

Well, nothing is unreasonable if you’d like it and so would your child. Mine would find it a bit boring to be totally honest.

We did 'at home' parties for DD at this age, with the added challenge of a winter birthday. The kids loved them (though DD hates pass the parcel...). We also did crafts (baker ross sell complete kits, they tell you if they need glue) which gave a slightly calmer activity if things were getting a bit rowdy - bear in mind we were indoors.

This sounds like a lovely party. It's a but more effort on your part but aside from that there is absolutely no reason to shell out for catering or entertainers. All five year olds want to do is run around anyway and they barely eat. You do you hun, don't worry about what everyone else is doing x

There's a difference between simple and what's basically a large playdate.

Where's the birthday cake? The games? The bits that make it stand out as a birthday party?

I think it’s fine but too many kids. You want to be able to move inside and 10 kids means statistically one will be upset, one will want their mum, one won’t like the food and tell you all about it… I agree with the age = guests rules for a home party.

Keep it short - 1.5 hours. Come in, play around for a bit, then food plus some games. Easy. If they’re artsy you could do an activity - my daughter’s friends loved decorating biscuits or jewellery etc. My son’s friends were and are more into just hitting each other with sticks until they go home. Are you having it dropoff or with parents? If parents stay you’ll likely have a couple wee siblings along too.

My son had a home party at 5. I had 8 kids and it was too many. I bought a little bounce house which was a massive hit and they played on the swings and dumped the water table water all over each other. We made ice cream sundaes which took a while but I was ready for it to be over at 1.5 hours - but had invited them for 2 so we had to power through lol

Sounds great, my youngest is a summer born and we always do a garden party. We have 10 kids coming for her 4th, some are older siblings who are ages with my older DD. Last time I had activities arranged but all they wanted to do was chase my DH around with a hose and then wrestle him, so the rest of us had a lovely afternoon eating party food and chatting while he exhausted them all (and himself!). It’s always a lovely afternoon, very relaxed and loads of good food, kids have a blast, we have loads of garden toys etc.

Oh if you have paving slabs or similar, giant chalks always go down really well for drawing on them.

I agree with the above include a few actual party games so they don’t have time to get board and nice party bag with a book in maybe some flower seeds and crayons to give out after and it sounds great I wouldn’t bother with face painting you can do the food it then includes things your child likes and not full of rubbish it sounds lovely.

to add, I'd try to avoid viewing this kind of thing as oneupmanship which actually both ways, you always get an air of 'oh my child loves my hand knitted granola bars and terribly nice activities' when justifying why they do a home party.

People give their kids a party that they as a parent will find bearable, fits their budget and they think the kids will enjoy. birthday cake, sandwiches, balloons and things that make stupid noises is all you really need. party bags to bring out as a signal for people to go away is sensible.

I've done both types. For me, it's well worth the money to not have to invite loads of people into my home, make smalltalk with other parents, watch their kids playing with my kids toys in a way that could damage them, having my garden trampled on then having to find crumbs and stuff literally everywhere for the rest of eternity. Doing it somewhere else is worth every single penny for me and as we normally do terribly nice activities with a packed lunch, going to softplay and eating processed crap is a big treat for my kids.

Re the food, I would keep it simple - small sandwiches and crisps or small sausages rolls, little gems etc. Kids just want to eat fun stuff at a birthday party. Definitely do a birthday cake though so everyone can sing happy birthday.

OP, you sound great. My DD would have loved a party in your garden when she was 5. There is a lot of impressing other adults in some children's parties. If you are happy to have kids in the house and garden they will absolutely love it.

I always did the food for DDs parties- sandwiches, mini pizza, crisps, chocolate fingers, fruit, veg and a cake of some description. I might have run to some squash. It was all gratefully received.

Some games are nice. We always did pass the parcel. I did homemade playdough with a few cutters for party bags with a tube of smarties and a bouncy ball.

Also we never invited the whole class. It would be mean to invite most people and leave a few out so we just had a few school friends, cousins and a few friends from baby group etc. I don't know who made all these rules about having to have a face painter/conjurer/caterer but this stuff is lost on 5 year olds. They want to run around like mad things then eat crisps.

I am a teacher and when we have 'parties' at school we let them come in their own clothes, do a few games in the hall or playground and provide some crisps and they are, without exception, delighted. At 5 they are primed to have fun. Tell them it is a party and it will be. You'll have the best time OP. Enjoy.

Sounds perfect to me. 10 children is more than enough for that age. I'd consider going even smaller. I assume the parents will mostly want to stay at that age, but I'd check with them in advance so you know you've got some help.

In the summer we've always just done small parties in the garden and organized games etc ourselves. Sometimes in Novemver too. Admittedly this was 20 years ago, but kids are still kids!

What I did find worked well for food at our self-organized parties, was handing out picnic boxes rather than getting children to help themselves. After checking for any dietaries first obviuously. Yes there will be some waste from children getting food they don't like/want, but there will be waste however you do it! 10 small children helping themselves to food, even with help from parents, equals chaos!

Some simple crafting activities would be good. I found it worked well to have something like that set up for kids to do when they arrived, before starting a few games once they were all there. I found it helped them stay less crazy for longer to start with something quiet! You'll need another adult looking after that for you while you let people in.

It sounds perfect but I'd definitely plan some outdoor games too rather than just let them play.
A treasure hunt with clues is usually popular, also you could make a simple fishing game /lucky dip using a paddling pool, very shallow water, fishing nets and wrapped small toys/ sweets. if you have a table outside you could also provide large sheets of paper for crafts etc.
And you could organise old fashioned garden games such as "what time is it Mr Wolf?" Etc. it's always better to have more ideas up your sleeve than you use.

10 is quite a lot in a small house. Ok if the weather is fine. Parents may stay (even if you tell them not to) and may bring other kids (even if you tell them not to)
It’s best to have at least a couple of games or they can rampage and fall out
A grazing platter can get swept away. Sitting at the table and supervising them helping themselves to “the party tea” is easier.

Let them play while everyone arrives, a couple of games, tea and cake and singing, couple more games, play until home time.

Mine are grown up now but I did several ‘home’ birthday parties when they were little. Both of mine have birthdays in the winter so outside wasn’t an option but I think with some careful planning they can be the best kind of parties. The maximum number we had at home was 8 and we had quite a big house - any more would have felt too much.

I agree that you need games. If there’s a theme for the party it’s fun to tap into that ie pin the flag on the castle/pirate boat or musical crowns etc. With my DD we tended to do a mixture of games and crafts - you can buy kits quite easily. Always choose easy crafts that mainly involve sticking so you can be quite hands-off.

Re food, I’ve done traditional party food of sandwiches, crisps and cake and also once did individual picnic boxes with nuggets/pizza slices and chips. They went down a storm, with far less waste and easy to do. A top tip is to have another adult (I had MIL) in charge of putting out the food/ cooking the food so you can concentrate on games and general supervision.

I’m an over-planner (and teacher!) so I always had a schedule for the afternoon to include rough timings for the games, when they would eat etc. It was probably to keep me sane rather than adding anything to the party but it seemed to work!

Brilliant ideas thank you!
Bubble guns are a great idea as is piñata-added to my list. I’ll set up a crafting station with various activities in the marquee, got the mud kitchen planned with potions/flowers/pots, will do pass the parcel with treat in each layer, a treasure hunt, and get the chalks out.
Theres 2 classes each of 30 so I think 10 is enough. If not all can make it that will be fine.
Still can’t decide on a big cake or smaller cupcakes though…

We are absolutely doing one of these this year. We are also doing cupcake and biscuits decorating as well. We will have 8-10 kids. Fully happy to embrace the choas- and it's so much cheaper than anything else (if it's hot I will suggest people bring water pistols to have a good old fashioned water fight!!!)

Yup ... keep it simple ... they will have a great time. Pass the parcel, pin tail on donkey, musical bumps/statues, mummies (wrap eachnother in toilet roll and have a race.. they love that), decorating biscuits to take home, simple novelty races if garden big enough, set up a sandwich making production line (goes down well honestly ... novelty value) etc etc.
Maybe stick in bit of water play? ... if you are feeling brave!
You do you .... children love these sorts of parties .. they make their own fun with a few props and ideas ... enough with all the blessed spoonfed fun.
Cheap and cheerful and no keeping up with the Jones!

I think it’s fine to go all out and fine not to. I think children have fun in either scenario. There’s no need to judge the parents whatever they decide to do, whether it’s a lavish affair or a sandwich in the park. We’ve been to soft play parties, parties held in a hall, parties held in the pub, parties at home with or without an entertainer, and lots of parties in a park where the children basically just run around and find their own fun. Personally I prefer the latter, it’s lovely to see them climbing trees and inventing their own games, but a lot of children absolutely love soft play (my idea of hell!!), and we went to a wonderful party with pony rides, full catering (including amazing food and drink for the adults).

Oh, and ask your child what they’d prefer regarding a cake. I was trying to get away with cupcakes, but mine really wanted ‘a big cake so I can blow out the candles!’, so we went with that in the end. You can buy plain iced cakes and decorate yourself pretty easily (you can use their own small toys put on the top if you don’t want to bother with icing.

Do you want 10+ school mums/dads in your house? I'd much rather pay for a softplay with a cafe area than host parents I barely know at home (but I might just be antisocial!).

If you are concerned about competitivity about birthday parties now, you will have a hard time when they actually start school 😂

Some people LIKE kids parties, and organising their kids parties,
some people just have more money
some people find it much easier to rent a place that sounds more expensive but that demands 0 effort from them ( I am one, can't think of anything worst than having to plan entertainment)
some people like having people in their home

The beauty of birthday parties is that kids experience all kinds of things, from soft play to trip to a zoo, swimming, football, horse riding, go ape or just disco..

Do what you are happy to do , and what your child will enjoy.
It would become such a bore if every single party was the same.

Around here, there's no acceptable drop-off until the kids are at least in year 5, which means you don't have to deal with children safety, toilets etc... it makes life so easy