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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect household jobs to be finished properly?

6 replies

SharpBlueBear · Today 10:32

Not a major issue, but something we disagree on so just trying to see if I am being unreasonable or not. DH says I am being controlling/ungrateful when he does a chore/job in the house but doesn't finish it fully & I am then a bit annoyed that I have to.

Some examples are:

  • Will take out kitchen bins if they are full but then doesn't put a new bag in which inevitably I end up doing as need to use the bin.
  • Will get the vacuum out & use it but then leaves it out, not back in the cupboard where he got it out from.
  • If he unloads the dishwasher (not very often) will leave half the bits out on the side as he 'doesn't know where they go' - we've lived in the house for 9 years now & the kitchen has always been the same!
  • If he loads the dishwasher (again not often) does it very haphazardly so not much fits in or won't get cleaned properly so I have to reorganise it before it can go on.

Just a few examples off the top of my head. However there are often times when he will absentmindedly leave cups/mugs/plates/drink cans/clothes around that I also have to pick up/tidy away.

For context, both 33, 2 kids - 5 & 1. DH works full time self employed, I work part time 2 days. Nursery/School runs are shared but I do majority.
I do most, if not all life/home admin. I do all Nursery/school admin, I take care of getting all kids clothes/shoes etc.
I do all meal planning, shopping & 95% of cooking. All laundry & most of the cleaning etc in the house is on me too. We both contribute to bills etc.

So AIBU to expect if DH does jobs/chores in the house that he actually finishes them? Or am I just being picky & ungrateful?

OP posts:
NoKnit · Today 10:38

No mine is exactly the same.

However he also claims i leave jobs unfinished maybe he is right

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · Today 10:41

Mine is the same. But I recognise similar behaviour in myself, just not with cleaning, so I try not to get resentful!

itsanamething · Today 10:55

You both should read "The marriage lesson I learned too late" by Matthew Fray.

There's no excuse for doing half a job. Your husband knows it as well as you do.

tiramisugelato · Today 11:35

Hm, I think both DH and I can be guilty of this sometimes 🫣

SockPlant · Today 11:38

Nope. Half a job doesn't count as done. Early on in my case I just used the bins and he had to wash them.
.
Just walk round jobs half-done. Through gritted teeth. Trip over the vacuum, put wet waste in the bin. Run the dishwasher. Use not-properly clean crockery for his dinner...

Gigglegiggle · Today 11:39

I call mine "Arthur Job" because of this.

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