AIBU for confronting an aggressive driver who then drove dangerously?

[bluebunny1]

Had what I think was the last straw that broke the camel's back today with crap men drivers. Was driving back after dropping my kids off at school. I do this route every day and know it inside out. Was waiting at a traffic light when a guy behind me started ranting and raving and shouting out of his open window. I don't really know what his problem was. I live in Italy so the driving standards are even worse here.

Anyway, I had enough of this so whilst the traffic light was red I put my car in park, went over to him and shouted at him to shut the fuck up and wait patiently like everyone else. Showed him the middle finger and walked back to my car. When the light turned green I drove off normally to the next traffic light shortly in front. The guy accelerated and jammed himself in front of me. The road then becomes a dual carriageway. He basically tried to trap me behind him, changing lanes every time i tried to overtake him, swerving really dangerously from one side to the other. Then he suddenly stopped completely right in front of me. On a busy dual carriageway. It was an absolute miracle I didn't go into the back of him. Or anyone else didn't go into the back of me.

Why is it that misogenistic men feel they are entitled to express their anger at whatever non-existent issue they think there is? And when you express that anger back at them they become completely unhinged and produce a totally disproportionate response?

YABU: You should not have escalated the situation by shouting at him
YANBU: He got what he deserved

He was a dick, you escalated it.

Get a dash cam and next time just record them and send it in to Operation Snap.

Dash cam is a good idea thanks

No. This man was totally in control of his own actions. OP responded, he chose to escalate it.

Also Operation Snap? OP is in Italy

No, the man escalated it. The OP simply responded in kind to begin with. Stop blaming women for the actions of men.

Thanks for this.
There might potentially be some equivalent scheme here, I just don't know.

These wankers never have an epiphany and change their ways when their shitty behaviour is called out. All you did was inflame the situation and put yourself at risk. It’s never ever worth it. DashCam and report them. It’s very satisfying when you get an email to say the police are pursuing a prosecution.

Don't escalate some men would rather kill you and themselves than move on or feel remorse.
Just film and report to the police or at least make sure you can escape after confronting
There are too many psychos on the road to risk your life telling someone off.

He didn’t get what he deserved though did he? He just behaved worse than he had been , you put yourself in danger and kids if they were in the car. For what? These men won’t listen to anyone, even when they are caught by police it’s like a badge of honour with their points etc. not saying it’s right as these people infuriate me too but it’s not worth getting into it with them, it clearly doesn’t change anything. Dash cam though so you can record anything similar - not sure anything is ever done about it if you send to police mind you

Do you think not? Should I have just let him have his moment? I don't even know what to think any more. I do often feel like its on women to manage men's feelings. I think if my kids were in the car I would not have done this.

On one hand it felt good to just shout at him and let him know its not acceptable. On the other hand, after many many different situations over the years, including sexual harassment when I was younger, I have no more patience left. And care less about putting myself at risk.

I can see why you went and spoke to him, but I think it was a risky choice as he was already angry and ranting. He could have escalated in various ways and endangered you. What he did do was clearly dangerous as well.

You did right, but then should have just parked somewhere till he went away.

You come across as posting this to get a pat on the back. All you did was make things worse.

Your point about men rather killing themselves than changing their ways is just depressing and probably true.

This is a good idea

It’s not him “having his moment” though, or managing his feelings for him. You can ignore him completely as his actions are nothing to do with you. I’m not even sure I’d have assumed he was ranting at me. These men want the aggro and attention. Calmly ignoring them is not the reaction they want. Shouting at him doesn’t let him know it’s not acceptable- probably the reverse, it may well have confirmed his assumptions, and he isn’t going to change his behaviour because of it.

I'm mainly trying to process what happened as I feel quite shaken. I know for sure if I speak to my husband he would say I should have just let it go. But I'm sick of letting it go.

Not exactly practical for everybody, I know, but once she’d stopped, a friend had the stupid man-racer who’d been carving her up, come over and start furious red-faced abuse at her through the window.

What he hadn’t realised was that in the back of her estate car her massive, 11 stone black Newfoundland dog had been having a quiet snooze - until Idiot Man appeared and threatened his Beloved. Up he sat, and uttered one, massive, baritone WOOF!

She didn’t see the bloke for dust! 😂🐶❤️

I recently watched a road rage video where the woman got out of the car to confront a man, he beat her up.

Why put yourself in danger? You were in your car but chose to come out and confront him, with kids in your car, wow…

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Hahaha I love this. Unfortunately no dogs but your friend's pet sounds like a brilliant deterrent.

Unfortunately this sort of confrontation only works out in the movies. When people behave like lunatics in traffic, just stay clear of them and report them if they are doing something that warrants reporting. In this situation, you escalated a verbal nothing situation into a physical confrontation.

Men like that would be enraged to be called out by a woman. They won’t reflect on their actions or be remorseful. I imagine the male entitlement and machismo in a culture like Italy is huge, so his pathetic tantrum and trying to frighten and punish you is unsurprising.

Good for you for confronting him. Things need to change around the world with regard to male violence.

@ThisOliveKoala No kids with me, driving back alone after drop off

To be honest you inflamed the situation
The man is a dick ... best to have left him to sit and rant in his car.
Idiots like him are best ignored.

Aahh okay, doesn’t make it any better, but if you think you’re right and you can square up to a man then go for it, you shouldn’t feel shaken up. On a serious note, you should have stayed in your car, people are unpredictable and as physiologically men are stronger than women, I wouldn’t take my chances.

That’s your choice if it makes you feel better in the moment. My point is that it doesn’t make a difference at all to the other party. He hasn’t for one second stopped to think about his behaviour. He’s a nasty angry aggressive cunt and always will be. You’re putting your own safety at risk for nothing.