Is the internet is ruining relationships?

[Whatwhat123]

I’m following a woman on Instagram who makes content about being long term single, I think she’s in her early thirties.
I’ve seen her post a lot about not wanting kids (fair enough) and also not wanting to do online dating. But then she posts a lot about being upset and that she’s scared of being alone forever.
AIBU to think she should just online date? I hate that there’s so few options to meet men and have relationships these days, but realistically that’s probably her best chance?

She has loads of followers and I relate to her myself so this isn’t a judgement of her personally, I just think how can we expect to be happy when we’re all alone scrolling our phones?

No, it is just ruining the world.

When you hear women's stories of online dating, I'm not surprised she doesn't want to do it.

Eh, I know online dating is popular but of the people I know who have met someone recently, all have met via real life. One couple met at work, another couple met through mutual friends, another couple met at a wedding for someone else and another couple met at the pub.

I am not saying online dating is wrong at all, I know lots of people also meet through it but I dont think it means if you dont use it, you're doomed to be single forever. Humans have been meeting other humans for centuries and it's not going to stop now just because the Internet exists.

I just don't understand why someone spends their time " making content" about their life rather than just going ahead and living it.

I don't understand people " following" random strangers talking about their lives instead of getting on and living their own.

It all reminds me of "The Truman Show".

She just sounds like another thirsty Instagramer creating content.

if she actually spent time in the real world rather than her carefully curated one, she might have better luck with men

I follow someone like that, could be same person. Internet dating is grim so I don’t blame her.

Yeah I suppose meeting in person is still an option. But what about for people like me and her? She doesn’t seem to get out much and mix with people, but probably has better social skills than me 😂
I’m autistic and don’t have a wide circle of friends. If I went to something like speed dating I’d be a nervous wreck. Basically I feel like I’m screwed because I struggle to even hold down a job so I won’t meet a man that will be ok with that.

I know plenty of women and men who have completely given up on dating. They’ve concluded, rightly, that there’s more to life than being in some lacklustre relationship, and if some great love story happens, then it happens. If not, hey ho, but they aren’t going out there looking for it.

And the standard of men (and some women) on online dating is woeful.

Yeah I dont get this either. I dont care what some random person online does during the course of their day- why would I?

Its completely bizarre to me

Ha the thread title sounds like older people catastrophising during the dawn of the internet era. It really isn’t destroying dating. Online dating is bringing more people from different walks of life together than ever before! This woman, for some reason, is making a song and dance out of not going down that route for clout- interesting flex but sure.

I guess in my case I’ve used things like Instagram for connection because I’m bored and lonely, and it’s helpful to see people in a similar situation to myself.

But online dating is not exactly smooth sailing either is it?

I've heard some awful things from friends who are doing it.

She doesn’t get out much as she’s an “influencer”
glued to the inernet. It’s pretty much a problem she has created herself. No sympathy for people like that. It’s not hard to put your phone down.

Ah, for problem solving I get it! Like, if you are single and dont want to be, I understand why you might watch others sharing their experiences of it and how they deal with that.

I suppose I am talking about influencers and people who just watch them daily doing mundane shit

No not at all, it sounds horrible to be fair. It’s just that it seems like it’s the best option and if you keep going it might eventually work out. But I haven’t tried it so it’s hard for me to know.

Most of them are out enjoying the world.

But the successful ones are also shrewd business people who monitor their stats and know posts about X give them the most engagement, so they repeatedly post about that for engagement/freebies/ad money depending on their priorities.

Very little is real!

I think it’s really hard to put your phone down, it’s been developed to be more addictive than slot machines.
i suppose in her case she’s making money so that’s her incentive to continue.

This is a good point actually, it should be really obvious but I probably shouldn’t take it at face value as much.

Anyone got any tips for autistic women trying to meet a nice, kind man? 😂

If you think "the internet" is ruining relationships then it's odd to ask this:

AIBU to think she should just online date?

The internet is not ruining my relationship, but if I was following people on Instagram he would never have been interested in me.

Neither of us are interested in that world.

I think my issue is that I feel like the internet is making dating so much harder, but at the same time there aren’t many other options so we’re kind of stuck with it.
I think it’s not the same for everyone but it’s hard when you’re isolated.

Anyone got any tips for autistic women trying to meet a nice, kind man? 😂

Watch Matthew Hussey on YouTube- his videos are really good about dating

I just did a search for "groups for ND adults near me" (on "the internet", ironically) and several came up, with descriptions and access information.

You could leave out the ND and loads more suggestions will appear.

My theory is that I think a lot of people have their short term needs met by scrolling on the internet and won't seek much else. This means that those that do want real life connection (either romantic or platonic) have less options. A lot of those people that try and fail at seeking meaningful connection in real life will then give up and decide to stick to the internet for a bit which furthers the problem.

You need to leave the house.

Realistically, if you spend your life indoors on SM on your phone, you're not going to meet anyone at all. Let alone anyone worth being in a relationship with.

Because, even of you met someone online, you'd need to be proactive in life. Otherwise, you'll end up being one of those women who's been in a relationship for two years and declared love with a man you're hoping to actually meet in real life one day.

I do leave the house sometimes 🤣

Connection doesn’t always come easy for everyone. I joined some groups for people in a similar situation to myself and ended up with an emotionally intense woman crossing my boundaries. Many places I just don’t fit in.

I don’t know what the answer is but a huge number of people have given up and choose to scroll instead.