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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband’s gym diet driving me crazy

102 replies

Nomorepenguins · 08/06/2026 18:24

I earn £500 a month more than my husband. We split the bills, childcare and mortgage 50/50 but I cover the weekly food shops with my own money to make it fair. We each pay for our own fuel and phones. Because of how expensive everything is nowadays, we don’t have much money left over once everything has been paid. We have around £300 - £400 left. We put half in savings then use the rest for days out and things our toddler might need. Child benefit is put into savings for our toddler, with some of it used occasionally when he needs new shoes, clothes, etc.

My husband goes to the gym. I don’t care that he goes but it’s got him into calorie and protein tracking and it’s driving me up the wall. I did the big shop on Sunday. I came home from work today to find he’d eaten the entire pack of penguin biscuits and KitKats that I’d bought (I never even got one), most of the crisps I’d bought, all the yogurts and fruit I’d bought, and used up most of the milk for his protein shakes. He’s now started adding things to our weekly food shop list, including £20 worth of Greek yogurt a week. I’m refusing to pay for this.
He’s just eating everything to meet his calories! When we have dinner he takes most of the meat for himself for protein, gives himself huge portions, etc. Then eats anything else he can find to hit his goals. I’ve even caught him eating our toddlers rusks.

He’s very fit and healthy and in great shape but he’s costing so much money to feed and has gone so selfish, taking all the food for himself. I’m sick to death of it. I’ve started making him pay for everything he over consumes but it hasn’t changed anything. Our fridge is always empty and top up shops are costing him a fortune. It’s started eating into our very limited budget for days out.

AIBU to be irritated? I think he’s so selfish. He says I don’t understand the gym or appreciate the diet needed to build muscle

OP posts:
BreakingBroken · 08/06/2026 19:26

i'm really confused.
he does need to eat (based on age size work) most likely 3000+ calories a day.
now regardless of how he achieves that both of you should have/buy enough groceries for the week.

if his meals don't fill him (mashed potatoes carrots turnip sprouts etc etc etc) then he will fill up on easy to reach for quick "junk".

my dh has taken to buying breaded haddock from costco and adding a quick fish portion (sometimes two) to his lunch or supper which i'm not sure is better than the past which was loaves of bread and peanut butter.

whether logging and noticing the various categories or not filling up an active healthy man costs grocery money.

Housewife2010 · 08/06/2026 19:29

Bjorkdidit · 08/06/2026 19:08

But presumably you're not spending over £80 of that on yogurt for one person?

Look at the comment I'm replying to; it's not the OP.

Malasana · 08/06/2026 19:30

I’m excited to try the penguin/Kit Kat/ crisps healthy eating calorie counted plan.
Can you link me to it please OP?
In all seriousness, he’s being a selfish, greedy prick. I’d be telling him he can supply his own over and above the usual shopping requirements he wants.

Occasionalsnaccident · 08/06/2026 19:33

The Fage 0% is for when finely balanced macros are the priority, normally if you’re trying to recomp or cut. Eating anything and everything isn’t in line with that, so sounds like he’s bulking in which case the cheap stuff will help him meet his goals and hopefully stop being so selfish!

LewKirtonHeavenInTheAfternoonNSOul · 08/06/2026 19:35

Pinkflamingo10 · 08/06/2026 18:36

I’ve never heard of a gym diet that involves kitkats and penguins !!

That's the gym diet for me
Mint penguins...mmmm.

DogAnxiety · 08/06/2026 19:38

His diet sounds really unhealthy. Too much protein and not enough fresh fruit and veg, nor legumes. Also why is he so body-obsessed? I get wanting to be in shape but I would find anyone who followed an instagrammer for health and fitness advice a total fanny clamp no matter how buff they were.

TheJuicyLucy · 08/06/2026 19:39

Why does he need to build muscle? Is he an agricultural labourer?

Cherrysoup · 08/06/2026 19:39

Stuffing processed crap like club biscuits down his throat is counter intuitive. I’m surrounded by gym obsessed teens, all of whom will only eat protein, certainly not crap like biscuits. Never heard of gym bunnies eating piles of biscuits.

I think I’d sit him down with the receipts and totals to show him very clearly how much he is consuming in just a couple of days. It sounds absolutely ridiculous.

oliviaAustin · 08/06/2026 19:41

He can build muscle without doing that. Hes also going to end up with heart issues eating all that saturated fat.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 08/06/2026 19:41

OP I think a better solution is to change who does the big shop. He now does it, you transfer him what you used to spend (£500?) and making sure all the food is bought and he can meal plan his requirements without taking from you and your dc.

If he argues he can’t timewise, then he can do the shop via a click and collect they you go pick up, but he’s done the planning and the thinking. Including making sure you also get enough protein because he’s not just bought enough for himself!

(and yes to eggs. He needs to be all about the eggs)

oliviaAustin · 08/06/2026 19:42

TheJuicyLucy · 08/06/2026 19:39

Why does he need to build muscle? Is he an agricultural labourer?

Also this… presumably he’s a generally fit and youthful man. Why does he need to be the hulk?

TimeDoesntStandStill · 08/06/2026 19:51

I also think he needs to eat aldi protein like mince, greek yoghurt, frozen fish, tinned tuna etc

I dont think its right that you should be having to buy all the food but thats a separate issue.

We have been hammered by food costs like everyone and i was shocked when i went through every single transaction from March and April.

Since then we setup an additional online bank just for food - there are many to choose from monzo, starling revolut etc and have trialled a daily standing order into it.

Rather than a monthly or weekly amount for food, the same food budget is split into a daily allowance.

We are shopping pretty much every day but theres been less waste and we have been coming in under budget and cooking fresh most days because it is cheaper. Because we've been shopping most days we've been able to visit the reduced section more and have picked up things to put in the freezer most days, which helps lower another days costs.

In this daily amount is also our once a month takeaway budget, so its in our best interests to have some leftover or else no takeaway treat 😅

Also both of us take turns shopping, whoever has the time and an equal share of things, that includes picking meals and cooking.

Maybe if you did this your husband would have more understanding of the cost of things

Example...Say you want to spend £7200 per year on food, £600 per month - that'd be £19.78 every day into the digital bank. Make it joint account so you both have the app on your phones and you can work together and enable notifications so yous can noth keep tabs on it all. Its needs to be a team effort.

Its helped us rein our spending in so far. Might be worth a try.

Also he could ask chatgpt how best to achieve his calories on a low budget for ideas.

Thumber · 08/06/2026 19:52

I’d be interested to know what his body fat and muscle mass percentages are. For a female I have very low body fat and pretty good muscle mass and I can guarantee I didn’t get there by eating bloody chocolate bars 🤣. He just sounds like a greedy pig who’s using the gym as an excuse to eat loads of shit. If he really wanted to bulk then he’d be eating fish, beans, meat etc.

Thumber · 08/06/2026 19:53

Oh and as others have said… eggs! Absolutely amazing food for gym goers!

lottiegarbanzo · 08/06/2026 20:03

He’s competing for resources with his child - eating away your family days out. Why are his muscles so important and why right now?

Sounds like some sort of rebellion against fatherhood and domesticity.

Potatoes, beans and porridge are cheap.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/06/2026 20:06

I’d stop buying chocolate biscuits and crisps altogether. More low-cost veg.

Oldgalgames · 08/06/2026 20:13

Sounds like he is doing a dirty bulk. I have to say I really struggle eating enough calories when eating clean whole foods as I am so fill, I do need to top my cals up with biscuits (not a full packet), but I am female, he will need far more calories than me to achieve his goal. Peanut butter on toast is a good call or blending a couple of spoonfuls into protein shakes.

Quietpeace82 · 08/06/2026 20:17

I felt I had the experience to chip in with this one so hear goes...
My ex husband used to do this with the Atkins...copious amounts of beef, cheese, chicken and mince. Tonnes of it.
It made his breath smell, the wind was awful...and the cost😣
Im vegetarian and because of budget (happily) chose dry lentils to soak and cook, Seasonal veg as cheaper and grew own salady bits where I could.
His steak would cost more than probably two whole days of me feeding myself.
He continued with various fad diets for years...never seemed to lose weight or feel better but that's because he said he had read about red wine being good for you so drank a bottle and a half to two bottles a night😬🙄
I guess if your husband is looking fit and healthy this does help to soften the blow.... but I'd bring the money issues up again to him somehow.
I mean.... if you mentioned to him that it was causing an issue with the budget and taking from you and family...im sure he would look at modifying things to make things fairer?
Seems a bit of a cheek!!

However...my adult son does attend the gym and although im really proud of how dedicated he is...he also has steak, 2-3 kg of chicken a week (honestly) and tins and tins of tuna. If i buy eggs (24 on friday) he simply ramps it up and makes 12 egg omlets. There never appears to be enough and a few weeks ago I was berated for making a cake and the words "whT am I gonna have for breakfast now"
Started to dribble from my son's face before I shrieked back that he is consuming the resources of a small town all to himself!!
I can't for the life of me grasp how your body could even process this amount of protein tbh.
I've just eaten chickpeas and lentil stew with mushrooms and spinach and for my medium level of exercise this does me fine.
I cant imagine loading my body with those calories but then again im a middle aged slightly podgy woman so guess I wouldnt burn more than about 2000 calories a day. If I cut it down to 1800 id prob lost a bit of weight.
My son takes in 4000 to break even.

JustLetMeHave · 08/06/2026 20:18
childrens theatre comedy GIF by London Theatre Direct

Get him a tin of tiger food.

superspideysense · 08/06/2026 20:19

Everyone has been more helpful than I could have been.

but I agree very selfish and he’s eating the wrong things.

but mostly came to say I love your username!

time4anothername · 08/06/2026 20:23

you sure he isn't sneaking any dodgy steroids in from dubious gym buddies? They give you hunger and poor self control. If not, he is being idiotic because he is stuffing himself full of saturated fat UPF and raising his risk of cardiac and all sorts of other ill health by doing so. If he only values looking good and not his real health, he needs a rethink.

Bearbookagainandagain · 08/06/2026 20:25

I disagree that his diet is the issue. He could eat the exact same amount but buy his own top up food instead of raiding the fridge and cupboards!

And it shouldn't come out of the family days out budget, it should come from his own spending money.

The issue is that he is a selfish twat.

DogAnxiety · 08/06/2026 20:31

His kidneys will be taking an absolute battering by the way, if he is consuming vast quantities of protein and washing it down with loads and loads of, by the sounds of it, of simple carbs.

For the financial and food consumption issues I’d be much, much less kind than you have been so far. How dare he eat all the good stuff himself and be so incredibly unaware he is robbing you and his child of their food? I’d be really blunt and tell him that it doesn’t matter how muscular and ripped he is, there is absolutely nothing less sexually attractive, or less likely to inspire long-term relationship stability, than a man who doesn’t look out for his child or shows such disregard for kid’s mum.

MrsClattenburg · 08/06/2026 20:35

oliviaAustin · 08/06/2026 19:42

Also this… presumably he’s a generally fit and youthful man. Why does he need to be the hulk?

Because it looks good? Men dedicated to eating well and weightlifting generally look amazing.

Not sure about the biscuit loving DH of the OP though!

Hellohelga · 08/06/2026 20:48

Penguins, kitkats and crisps in a gym diet? Sure he’s not just a greedy twat.