Husband’s gym diet driving me crazy

[Nomorepenguins]

I earn £500 a month more than my husband. We split the bills, childcare and mortgage 50/50 but I cover the weekly food shops with my own money to make it fair. We each pay for our own fuel and phones. Because of how expensive everything is nowadays, we don’t have much money left over once everything has been paid. We have around £300 - £400 left. We put half in savings then use the rest for days out and things our toddler might need. Child benefit is put into savings for our toddler, with some of it used occasionally when he needs new shoes, clothes, etc.

My husband goes to the gym. I don’t care that he goes but it’s got him into calorie and protein tracking and it’s driving me up the wall. I did the big shop on Sunday. I came home from work today to find he’d eaten the entire pack of penguin biscuits and KitKats that I’d bought (I never even got one), most of the crisps I’d bought, all the yogurts and fruit I’d bought, and used up most of the milk for his protein shakes. He’s now started adding things to our weekly food shop list, including £20 worth of Greek yogurt a week. I’m refusing to pay for this.
He’s just eating everything to meet his calories! When we have dinner he takes most of the meat for himself for protein, gives himself huge portions, etc. Then eats anything else he can find to hit his goals. I’ve even caught him eating our toddlers rusks.

He’s very fit and healthy and in great shape but he’s costing so much money to feed and has gone so selfish, taking all the food for himself. I’m sick to death of it. I’ve started making him pay for everything he over consumes but it hasn’t changed anything. Our fridge is always empty and top up shops are costing him a fortune. It’s started eating into our very limited budget for days out.

AIBU to be irritated? I think he’s so selfish. He says I don’t understand the gym or appreciate the diet needed to build muscle

Unfortunately I love him and he’s my best friend so I don’t want to do this! I just want him to understand his food habits are ridiculous and costing our family a fortune!

You’ve agreed to pay for the food shop to account for the difference in salary. Fair enough. But that was when he was eating like a normal person.

The goalposts have shifted and now in my opinion, his new eating regime comes under the category of a hobby. the food you have been paying was to meet the household requirements for basic nourishment and is fair enough. But if he is choosing to eat like this and eating extra for his new hobby of tracking food/ hitting certain target he should use his own money to top this up.

as previous posters have pointed out, chocolate bars and crisps are not the food that those who are on a strict gym and eating regime eat. He is being selfish and greedy and making excuses about why it’s ok.

it’s not ok.

Going to show him this comment, thank you!!

His eating habits aren’t that great for a ‘gym goer’ tbh. Things like biscuits are just full of empty calories. He needs to be planning his foods better. Carbs like oats, sweet potatoes, rice, pasta, all pretty cheap and filling. Protein like eggs, cottage cheese, lentils, beans cheaper cuts of meat like chicken thighs, canned fish etc are all lower cost. It’s costing a fortune as he is picking the wrong foods to fill up on.

What @brunettenorthern91 said, he should be using things like lentils and beans to bulk up his food, add calories, fibre and protein pinto, kidney and back beans are all cheap and give 15g protein per cup. He can cook a huge batch of bean chilli or the like and use that as an extra meal every day if he needs it.

I will show him this comment, thank you!

Maybe he could channel all that additional energy into increasing his income and providing for his family properly. Food for a family costs more than £500 a month now so I think you're being mugged off frankly.

1.5g of complete protein per kg of bodyweight is more than adequate for someone resistance training. If he's so serious about the gym then his diet should more or less look as follows:
eggs, sourdough bread, complete protein (meat/fish/tofu), rice/potatoes, protein shakes, ungodly amounts of greek yoghurt

A good habit to get into is filling up on these kinds of things, hitting your protein for the day and then having some dark chocolate as a treat. Hoovering down an entire packet of penguin bars under the premise of being a big strong man is ridiculous.

Yeah, that kind of eating bears no relation to any health-based regimen that I know of! All calories are not equal, no matter how quickly you’re burning them, and the selfishness of prioritising himself and choking down a week’s supply of family treats because ‘calories’ is honestly a bit sickening.

He needs to start following better dietary advice for a start, and he also needs to start paying for his own extra food if he can’t manage to even consider his wife and children every time he opens the fridge. No matter how buff, he’s not a fucking caveman.

His diet is terrible! UPF central by the sound of it. As a PP asked - is he not very bright?

@Nomorepenguins you said that your DH had ‘eaten the entire pack of penguin biscuits and KitKats that I’d bought (I never even got one), most of the crisps I’d bought, all the yogurts and fruit I’d bought, and used up most of the milk for his protein shakes.’

So.. he ate an entire pack of penguins. Then and entire pack of Kit Kats. Then nearly all of the crisps plus all of the yoghurt fruit and milk? Really?

Sounds like he’s got worms…

People who are serious about the gym and their body don't gorge on family packs of chocolate bars op.

There's plenty of Youtubers that show you how to back cook/meal prep for the week to match macros needed.

I would stop covering all the food shops now anyway, maybe being held financially responsible himself will give him the motivation to be more economically savvy with his diet, it's easy to be a gannet when someone else is paying for it.

He needs to be buying all of this himself. How selfish

My DH is a bit of a gym fiend and had a phase where he was muscle building/fat reducing. That included a lot of protein which included shakes and protein drinks along with meat, eggs, dairy and veg. It did not include scoffing 6 packs of biscuit bars, crisps and the kids rusks.

Your DH is being a CF tbh. Start locking stuff away and shop at Lidl if you don't already. Get him to buy his own protein packs from places like Muscle Food.

PS look at Scott Babtie on YouTube for good healthy recipes that everyone can eat.

Our food bill is £400 a month from Ocado. Four of us - two older teenagers including my 16 year old weight lifting son.

Obviously this situation can't continue and you (both) need to find a way to manage it better, but I can't imagine denying anyone I love food, especially not if they do actually need the calories (ie are not over weight).

He’s just eating everything to meet his calories! When we have dinner he takes most of the meat for himself for protein, gives himself huge portions, etc. Then eats anything else he can find to hit his goals. I’ve even caught him eating our toddlers rusks.
How on earth does this happen more than once?
Eating all the penguins? Does he perhaps have an earring disorder that he's masking?

Ask him why he doesnt care if you have enough to eat or not.

But presumably you're not spending over £80 of that on yogurt for one person?

My DC is an elite level athlete and does not eat anywhere near that amount of junk! Totally ripped and very little body fat due to his sport.

What’s this gym diet that involves eating entire packs of kitkats?

I’m not a gym goer but my brother is a body builder. He buys all meat in bulk and does deals with local butchers. Most other things are Costco bought in bulk. Eggs from a farm in bulk etc.
Then it’s meal prep, he will spend a day portioning and tubbing up whatever amounts he needs. I seem to think he makes his protein shakes with water.
and then just for the laughs he takes a cooler bag round with him everywhere and eats at strict times, you get used to him whipping out a meal in the car 🤦‍♀️

No gym diet requires eating an entire packet of kitkats. Why is he leaving you & your child with no meat for your dinner let alone food in general? Tell him to stop being a selfish fucking pig.

That would drive me bonkers.
DH also goes through fads - he currently lets chatgpt dictate his ‘nutrition’.
Same frustrations here - every week I compile a bonkers list and drag my kids round Tesco for the astronomical shop. Every couple of days we have to do some sort of top up shop - I would say our weeky food bill is about £200.
I would say you need a chat about finances - if you were to split the foodshop and it hits his pocket he may decide to be more picky with regards to his requests!

@LittleMermaid123- he probably makes his protein shakes with water because it it broken down and digested more quickly that with milk products and much more efficient with water.