To join a dating app for this reason?

[PolIyPutTheKettleOn]

This might sound a bit odd, but would it be wrong to join a dating app purely for conversation and a bit of male attention?

Lately I’ve been feeling quite invisible and, if I’m honest, a bit like I’ve been “left on the shelf”. I think most people like to feel attractive and wanted from time to time.

I’m not looking for a relationship or dating, and I absolutely will not be meeting up with anyone under any circumstances, friendship or otherwise. This will be purely for online chat only.

I also don’t want to join a friendship app, as I don’t mind a bit of flirting and banter rather than strictly platonic chat (although no sexting!) but some light flirting is fine. I just miss talking to men, that connection, and honestly it would be nice to feel attractive again and see that there is still some interest there.

I would be completely upfront about all of this and would clearly state on my profile that I am only looking for online conversation and not meeting anyone.

If I were honest about that from the start and stated clearly on my profile, would it be unfair to join a dating app just for this? Has anyone else done something similar, or would I just be wasting people’s time?

I think it would be wasting peoples time, sorry.

it’s a dating site, people want to meet people to date.

im not sure what would suit you.

there are many sites just for online chat but they are sexual, with the expectation of sending photos / sexting etc which you don’t want to do.

im not sure many men want to chat and flirt with a woman with no possibility of either meeting or sexting.

In my experience most people seem to use it for online chat only and have no intention of meeting up for dates so you'll be fine, go ahead.

It’s fine as long as you are upfront about it.

Have a read here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5537275-feeling-invisible-can-i-join-dating-apps-but-not-date?reply=152667777

you could try. but i think you will be disappointed.you might not get much attention as the men are all hoping to date. or do one night stands. a lot arent nice.

do online chatrooms exist nowadays?

does it have to be online? what about in person meetup clubs in your area to mean men and women and make new friends.

Chat rooms wouldnt work for me as I want someone to message in the evenings rather than loads of random people. It would be purely online yes.

Download discord and look for a server surrounding a hobby or media you enjoy. You'll have people to chat with and it's very common for people who meet in severs to switch to DM's for a bit of flirting.

Just make sure you choose an 18+ server so you don't end up in one with a bunch of teenagers.

Hmm no im not sure about that I don’t want a chat group I find it hard to build any connections on that i am much better at talking to maybe one or two people at a time

It will be fine, Match have a ‘just chatting ‘ option.

Or maybe it’s Facebook dating…

Online dating apps are awash with people who never actually meet in person, so in that regard you'll be fine, especially if you say that in your profile. But most men doing that would probably over time expect the conversation to become more sexual, you may struggle to just chat and receive attention.

The majority of the men who will be interested in just chatting with no intention to meet will be men who are already in relationships themselves and also just looking for an ego boost. Personally, I’d not want to be getting myself involved in that. You might get attention, but it won’t be genuine attention because of who you are: they’ll be hoping that enough chat will eventually turn into sexting or nudes and trying to butter you up in that vein: is that really going to make you feel visible and attractive?

It’s also unlikely to be particularly good quality chat - unless you find “how’s you babe?” and “wot you wearin, u feelin naughty 2nite?” good chat.

Well it will be entertainment if anything

It doesn’t need to be constant attention just would be nice to know people are still interested

Am surprised noone has asked why.

When men do this it's usually because they're in a relationship and bored.

Presumably that's the case here?

No im single

Just chatting on a dating site men will be married man looking for a bit of sexting.

Well there will be no sexting so I will block anyone that tries that

It’s a kind of ‘dating lite’ as it were.

I’ve done it before, it was quite nice. If you’re not ready for the apps and meeting people, it’s a good way to gradually get ready.

How do you search on Discord? I’ve only been able to join servers where someone gives you a link, or they put the link up on some other forum eg Reddit.

What exactly do you want from these online men? It sounds like you want them to say they find you attractive and validate you but you also don't want them to chat to you in a sexual way at all?

If you just want a penpal kind of interaction (and don't want to exchange pictures) perhaps try some kind of online game community. If you give yourself a female sounding name on WordsWithFriends guarentee some bloke will start trying to make small talk!

I don’t mind flirting but I won’t be sexting anyone thats a massive difference

I think sexting is very different to just a bit of chatting flirting and banter, sexting isnt really the same thing at all.

@PolIyPutTheKettleOn the problem is most people will try and turn the conversation to sex. Regardless if you say friends only. .... that's been my experience

And you can block them then.

Of course you can - but you’ve spoken about wanting to feel good about yourself, and are you going to feel that if you’re quickly finding you have to block men who seemed nice originally but quickly become apparent just want to sext?

I’m not cynical about dating sites: I used them for several years and had across the board really great experiences - albeit looking for people to actually meet up with and date. But there was also a lot of dross to wade through and quickly block along the way, as multiple men just wanted to start doing sexy talk from a few messages in.

Wanting to have some nice conversation for the evenings and meet some cool people is more likely to come from other avenues where the main motivation isn’t “dating” and is about common interests, stuff you both like, and people who are looking for online friendship.