AIBU to be concerned about paddle boarding safety after last year?

[TownClown59]

DH and I have had an argument tonight. For context, last year he and my eldest DD went camping with friends and he had sent me pictures of them paddle boarding. My DD wasn’t wearing a life jacket. This obviously sparked a conversation, he explained that they didn’t have one to use and because of that, they just stayed in the shallows and didn’t stand up and DD was sitting in front of him the whole time. Obviously I highlighted how a whole host of things could have happened out with his control and doesn’t matter whether he could see the bottom or not.

Fast forward to now, he suggests we look at getting paddle boards which I’m up for but mentioned this incident last year and that I would need to trust if he ever used them with both DDs, he would take their safety really seriously. He said he obviously would however didn’t acknowledge that there was a lapse in judgment previously. I wasn’t looking to rehash old issues but just hear him accept maybe his decision to do that last year, wasn’t the most responsible but he doesn’t agree. This concerns me that he won’t accept any fault in his decision making. He has said though if we got paddle boards he would of course use the appropriate safety measures. I think I’m just irritated by his arrogance here. Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?

He is a wonderful, loving and hands on Dad for the record. I just think his ‘I know best’ complex doesn’t allow him to see risks. That worrries me.

DH is a kayaking and canoeing instructor. He's qualified.

He said some time before the incident that's been well reported in the last couple of years that paddle boarding was an accident waiting to happen.

When there was that big incident, he said immediately what he suspected the failings would be. He was spot on about every single one when the final report came out.

NO ONE should paddle board without a buoyancy aid (a life jacket is something different) It's a recipe for disaster even with the best swimmers. Even in shallows.

He's a qualified coach and wouldn't go out himself without one.

Paddle boarding as a sport has since been brought under the regulation of British Canoe Union due to the incident in Pembrokeshire. Anyone qualified to take groups out on water is now subject to similar training and regulations as kayaking and canoeing. Top of the list is ensuring everyone has a buoyancy aid.

DHs pet hate is budget supermarkets selling inflatable paddle boards, kayaks and canoes precisely because they don't encourage the safety equipment too. He calls them deaths waiting to happen. At some point they will get banned after an incident.

OP your husband is a Grade A dickhead for not using the appropriate safety equipment.

Just to give you a benchmark. I am calm around water. I am the opposite of a helicopter parent. I let my kids paddle up to knee height and I don't really watch them in lakes and rivers.
They are not allowed in water at all without life jackets. (Not buoyancy aids.) And they are never ever unsupervised in the sea. They are 5 and 9.
I know friends of friends who have died.
On a paddle board the minimum would be tether and throw rope.
Your husband needs to go on a BCU course before he takes them out again.
See the other poster whose husband is experienced. If this is what those with experience do then you should take that as a warning.

Id have strung him up YANBU

But with the right safety gear it could be fun

No one in my care (including me) goes on a paddle board without a buoyancy aid. Also someone has a phone in a waterproof case. Basic safety. And obviously we only go out if the winds etc are ok.

Your basic checks are equipment, conditions and ability of the group.

Almost all incidents are because someone has over-estimated their ability/experience, hasn't taken the weather / water conditions seriously or they don't have the right basic safety equipment (or a mixture of the above). Pembrokeshire scored a full house.

DH and his friends who are experienced qualified BCU coaches have a duty of care to challenge people who do not follow these rules if they see them. Even if they are minding their own business just on a normal day out with their family. If they don't they could lose their certification if something were to happen and it's found they didn't. They don't get to be 'off duty'.

If they are out on the water and they see someone getting into trouble they are obliged to assist if they can because that's what they're qualified to do.

We know numerous people who have ended up putting their own lives at risk because of people like your husband who haven't got a clue and they then get into trouble. They regularly end up doing rescues. It's not fair on them - don't be that dickhead.

Don't use water sports equipment on the sea full stop without a life guard in the area / trained instructor. Too much can go wrong too quickly.

If you really want to buy equipment and do it by yourself, go on a session where you are taught basics first as a bare minimum. Understand the risks and what you need to risk assess. Understand that you need to be responsible on the water for both yourself and others.

That means if you think you are too cool to wear a buoyancy aid, stay home. Paddle boarding has a particularly bad reputation for people thinking they are above a buoyancy aid.

These are safe sports if you follow basic safeguarding principles. If you don't you can get into trouble very quickly.