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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be concerned about paddle boarding safety after last year?

10 replies

TownClown59 · Yesterday 22:51

DH and I have had an argument tonight. For context, last year he and my eldest DD went camping with friends and he had sent me pictures of them paddle boarding. My DD wasn’t wearing a life jacket. This obviously sparked a conversation, he explained that they didn’t have one to use and because of that, they just stayed in the shallows and didn’t stand up and DD was sitting in front of him the whole time. Obviously I highlighted how a whole host of things could have happened out with his control and doesn’t matter whether he could see the bottom or not.

Fast forward to now, he suggests we look at getting paddle boards which I’m up for but mentioned this incident last year and that I would need to trust if he ever used them with both DDs, he would take their safety really seriously. He said he obviously would however didn’t acknowledge that there was a lapse in judgment previously. I wasn’t looking to rehash old issues but just hear him accept maybe his decision to do that last year, wasn’t the most responsible but he doesn’t agree. This concerns me that he won’t accept any fault in his decision making. He has said though if we got paddle boards he would of course use the appropriate safety measures. I think I’m just irritated by his arrogance here. Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?

He is a wonderful, loving and hands on Dad for the record. I just think his ‘I know best’ complex doesn’t allow him to see risks. That worrries me.

OP posts:
Johnogroats · Yesterday 22:55

How old are the DC? I used to insist… but now they are adults.

Wasywasydoodah · Yesterday 22:55

There are other safety measures he’d need to think about. Eg knowing the very significant impact of wind and tides, the correct tether, having emergency contact measures, the right clothing. Does he know this? If not, you’re best booking a course or joining a club to learn

TownClown59 · Yesterday 22:56

Johnogroats · Yesterday 22:55

How old are the DC? I used to insist… but now they are adults.

So my eldest was 5 when he had her on one last year. So she absolutely should have had one on!

OP posts:
RaininSummer · Yesterday 22:57

Definitely ditto to going on a course as there is a lot to learn and you don't mess with water.

Whatsyourcakevice · Yesterday 22:58

At 5 yes I’d say a life jacket is essential

Coulddowithanap · Yesterday 23:07

Can you get a life jacket for her?

TownClown59 · Yesterday 23:10

Coulddowithanap · Yesterday 23:07

Can you get a life jacket for her?

Yes I absolutely can. My AIBU was more about how he won’t accept any lapse in judgement for not using one before. Surely he would reflect on that and think it wasn’t a wise choice but he doesn’t see it like that at all

OP posts:
Agoddessonamountaintop · Yesterday 23:16

Sailing clubs have rules that no one can go on (or sometimes even near) the water without a life jacket. Bear in mind that there will usually be rescue boats on duty and other sailors looking out for each other.
edit: they were at sea with no safety boat nearby and no awareness of the dangers of tide and wind.
They should both have been wearing life jackets and yes, a course is probably necessary, hopefully to drum in basic irrefutable safety measures.

Johnogroats · Yesterday 23:30

At 5 on a paddle board, you’re absolutely right. A life jacket is essential. What is he thinking off. We insisted kids wore them on kayaks (in a lake where it’s 23 degrees) until they were c12 or maybe older. And fit and confident swimmers.

billeth · Yesterday 23:56

Surprised anyone had said YABU. Of course they should have a life jacket on at 5!

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