Would you move? Or not? I’m so torn need to decide asap

[princesspeppax]

posting aibu for traffic …

Currently live in the house I grew up in, with my own family. A much loved and cherished home which holds lovely memories of growing up and my own DC growing so this is making the decision much harder, would love outside opinions.

We are both early 30s, working with 3 kids 11 and under for reference. We would be paying similar price monthly for all bills it would only be moving costs that we need to finance.

Pro’s for moving -
Bigger property - DC would all have own rooms
Driveway (current house can be difficult to get a space as small car park for many houses)
Larger back garden which is more private
one car is hybrid so could charge on driveaway which we cant currently do

Con’s of moving -
Expense and hassle of moving - flooring, blinds, removal van etc
new house has a much smaller kitchen but rest of house is larger
kids have friends in neighbourhood (but new house is same town so would remain in same school) and hopefully make friends
i’m emotionally attached to this house and would miss it
our current neighbours are lovely no idea about new ones

I dont know if its just because i’ve grew up in this house or not but would love honest opinions …

Mightn't it be more economical and less emotionally draining to consider pricing up to extend op?

If I'm reading right there's not a massive pull to move but I could be wrong

I wouldn't give up happy memories, great neighbours and friends in the neighbourhood for a driveway and more rooms. I'd stay put.

Edited to add: the pros you list for your current house are priceless.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to extend for extra bedroom and it's pretty easy to widen drive even if extra for dropped kerb .

Moving is always emotional. As your children become teenagers it would be good to have their own space and privacy.
A drive and larger garden sound lovely too.
If you can afford it I would. You can get another property how you want it over time.
Are the rest of the family as emotionally attached as you?

I would always choose a house with its own driveway. The hassle I see on streets near us with no driveways looks like a nightmare. I couldn’t cope with the panic of driving home and struggling to park each day. There are also huge benefits to DC having their own rooms, especially as they get older. What happens if they still need to live with you as young adults?

Are you talking about moving between rentals?

It's always a wrench to leave a house where you've been happy, but the cold facts are that it's not quite meeting your requirements now, and definitely won't when your children are bigger. It's six years until your eldest can have driving lessons, less than that when puberty and hormones strike, which can be awkward in shared rooms with no private space to retreat to. Your current house doesn't suit your car situation now, that won't get better...

It's often very hard to move especially the into the unknown such as the neighbours. But your current neighbours could change too, you wouldn't be able to do anything about that. If it was me, I would move, especially if the bills were about the same.

are dc wanting a room each?
how crowded are they?

teens do like space but they also spend a lot of time outside the house

Should have added, no scope for extension in current house from front or back unfortunately. Loft to low to make a bedroom also

Current house is 3 bed, new is 4 bedroom. Eldest DD has own all be it small room just now, DS not overly fussed about sharing currently but they are both very young now and one has ASD so if we dont move now we probably would to in the future. DH likes it where we are but he definitely is not as emotionally attached to the house. House was my parents they downsized and left house for me and my DC’s to live in.

I would move no question,your kids need the extra space,and you need space for your cars, I think unless I actually depended on my neighbours for something,childcare for instance,then like a pp said they can change, perhaps do a bit of surreptitious snooping re neighbours at your proposed new location, because bad ones really can make life a misery.

If the house you are thinking of moving to is bigger, has a bigger back garden and its own driveway and is in the same town, yet still the same price as the one you’re in, then what’s the catch? Is it cheaper due to being in a less pleasant area? Or is your current home overpriced? Renting or owned?

Own driveway and believe me, teens need more space. It’s really helpful to have two social spaces downstairs if you are strict about gaming and tvs etc

Can you extend at some time? Preferable to giving money to estate agents, even the few good ones, and I doubt solicitors are short of work.

Thankyou, new house is in a ever so slighly less sought after area i’d say. However since posting this DD has said one of her friends stay in the street so thats something. New house needs more work painting carpets decorative and garden where as current house is walk in condition and new fitted kitchen only a few months ago so more desirable than new house i’d say

Looks like a good move

Appreciate all comments, just want to see if i’m letting my emotional attachment to the house cloud my judgement

There'll be hidden costs in the new house

Once you start decorating you'll unearth issues. There's always underlying issues or updating needed if a house looks like it just needs re decorating.

I would be extremely reluctant to move if I could in any way make "happy house" last for longer.

I don't know what you want to call it but vibes/feels/spirits of a house can make or break your life there

I've been in great on paper houses that had forever potential, but never felt like home

I'd move. Keeping the same neighbours were you live now isn't guaranteed, people move on so that isn't a good reason to stay.
Once the DC go to secondary school they're likely to branch out from friendships on their street anyway.
I have a drive and could not go back to not having one, it makes a huge difference.
Teenagers having their own bedroom is a huge positive, especially in these times where they often live at home well into their 20s.
Moving can be difficult for autistic children, best to do it whilst he is young and before he has to deal with the challenges secondary school are likely to bring (if in mainstream that is).
I think it could actually be positive to have a house for memories for your own family only, if you move that will be the home that you and DH create and build memories in together as independent adults.

I think I'd want to move just for the parking.
Kids having their own rooms would be great too.

Can you extend or do a basement/loft conversion and improve your driveway access? Possibly not much more than the cost of moving.

We moved for a driveway a garden and more internal space. Love the new house and garden. It sounds like you are going to have to move anyway at some point….. none of the negatives you have listed will change really.

I would definitely move without hesitation but then I’ve never been overly sentimental about houses. You need the extra space and 100% a driveway.

You’ve just had your kitchen redone 2 months ago. So what changed between then and now? You must have been pretty happy just 2 months ago if you were spending money on the kitchen.

I think I’d move. BUT how secure are your jobs? Would it six months of reduced income influence your decision?

You are talking about the new house as if it’s the only other one available in town. Why is it the only option?
Maybe if you found a different house, with a bigger kitchen and in a better part of town you’d think it more worthwhile to move?