to tell my dd to shut up

[nametaken]

she doesn't stop talking (she's 11) from the minute she gets up - we all have to hear what she dreamt about (yawn yawn) to the minute she goes to bed.

She must think she's the bees knees, I'm sure she thinks she's my sole reason for living.

She goes on and on and on, interrupting my conversations with friends and my other kids. I wouldn't mind but she never says anything interesting! It's all so mind-numblingly boring!!!!!

Am I being unreasonable to say

"for god's sake shut up"

I admit the post does sound very hostile and dismissive, but I do think it's fine to say 'let someone else speak please' or 'we'll talk about your holiday in a moment' and also to say, 'look darling, sometimes when we are talking I feel as if you interrupt me a lot and don't really listen. That doesn't feel like a conversation." you can also try some 'tricks' like holding a pebble when you are talking, then give it to her to hold while she replies, then she give it back to you, to give her some conversation practise. You could also try to teach her some conversation tricks - someone says something, so you comment on that, then ask a question they answer, you comment etc - or you try to agree with everything someone says before saying somethign connected: 'It's rainy today' 'yes, it is rainy. Maybe tomorrow will be sunny though'.
This is all random stuff, but might be worth practising. I have to constantly try to teach my son (aspergers) normal conversation stuff, but admit to tuning out all my kids at times, and also saying stuff like 'give it rest for minute! My ears are ringing!' and 'Don't interrupt me! I'm going mad!"

hecate .. we do that [snigger]

it doesnt sound hostile at all to me, it sounds like the average mum out there whom has been blah blah blahed at all day and told her dd to shut up. At 11 i think she can take that, she is old enough to learn when she is going too far.

I wish my parents had done that for me, perhaps i wouldnt yack on about me all the time as an adult. i blame them, terrible indulgent souls

DS does go on "transmit" and I have been known to resort to "will you please just shut up for a moment.."

Depends if she means it or is just ranting for slightly comic, exasperated effect. I find it hard to believe that this child 'never says anything interesting'. I think that's an absolutely crushing global criticism.
And I do howl 'please will you shut up for one minute' to my kids. I still think they say interesting stuff at least some of the time.

yabu
i feel your pain but I can only dream of dd(cp) talking non stop. so enjoy it.
in a couple of years when she has turned into a fully fledged teen you will miss it.

oh, I havn't actually told her to shut up - in case anyone was under the impression I had - just asking whether or not it would unreasonable if I did.

she really shouldn't be interrupting at that age .. even my 4 year old is learning not to interrupt and my 7 year old doesn't tend to unless really really important .. you know, like he's just scored a goal against his invisible foes

no harm done then is there nametaken, and i agree with twiglett she should not be interrupting at her age.

She never says anything interesting? I'd be a bit disappointed at that.

why is it that you have such a problem with her being boring? Aren't 11yo inherantly boring, like the sounds of their own voice, talk fot the sake of talking etc? Our dd is 2.9 and sometimes we think (oh for heavens sake stop whittering on) and yes, i do feel totally for you, from what you say i assume you are on your own with the los? So, yes it must be tough i agree. But seriously, please don't say anything to her about this, unless its on the lines of, "please don't interrupt" or "i asked xyz what she did on holiday, i would like to hear her answer, then it will be your turn." It does sound like she is attention seeking imo.

I know how you feel Nametaken, although slitghty differant here. DS1 has tourettes and some days will have verbel ticks for hours, I know he cant help it and I would never tell him to stop as he can't but I do think sometimes for the love of god be quite.

I do have a life but my children are the centre of it and I think they are both the best thing since starbucks

I fairly often say "DS, I love you but you are just going to have to stop talking for a moment".

So he does, I take a moment and then "So, you were saying..."

I favour, "Honey, PLEASE get to the point because I am losing the will to live."

you have sympathy from me nametaken my dd1 is exactly the same and she is only four! guess its only just going to worse then!?

"whats for breakfast mum? cheerios again i think we should have cheerios, can dd2 have cheerios too? do you want cheerios dd2? should i ask daddy if he wants some? no i wont ill leave him he can get his own. after you have washed up can we take the dog out? where is the dog anyway i want to give her a treat. i like giving her a treat. i am a good girl arent i mum im going to be very good today! when can we turn the tv on? is lazytown on today.........." my reply to that this morning was

"shh dd1 mummy is having coffee its not time for you to get up yet, dd2 woke up very early this morning. ill do breakfast after my coffee" it was 6 am. by 8am i decided to send her upstairs to see if she could find the cat. who went out last night and isnt back yet i couldnt take it anymore!!!!

YANBU thinking it. but i wouldnt say it! though i have to bite my tongue not say it sometimes! at least yours is out of sudden make you jump out your skin screeching phase..hopefully? get an mp3 player put your headphones in, turn it up and nod politley while singing along to queen in your head

I agree that it sounds like your DD is speaking in an attempt to gain your attention and that she needs to learn to communicate rather than broadcast.

She is old enough to understand that she should not interrupt, and that she has to let others speak too.

Do you get the chance to answer her at all? Can you perhaps tell her something about your day? Or do something together that you can talk about.

How is she in school?

I'd just humour her, then swing conversation to something completely unrelated to her, and in extreme circumstances, something she wouldn't even understand.

I like Twiglett's sensible attitude.

We do talk a lot in our house and enjoy sharing our children's thoughts, but I have to admit there are days when ds's mindless drivel in particular makes me want to bang my head against a brick wall. He really does seem to believe that his tongue will fall out if it is not in constant motion.

It's not that he doesn't have anything interesting to say- he does- it's simply that noone could talk that much and say interesting things all the time.

Sorry, missed your post, Hedgewitch. Your Mum had sensible ideas. Tone is everything. I could happily tell dc's to shut up without hurting their feelings- it's all about tone of voice.

Returning to this thread, I wasn't shocked by the desire to say 'shut up', we all have that from time to time, it was the

"I wouldn't mind but she never says anything interesting! It's all so mind-numblingly boring!!!!!"

which took me aback. How would she feel if she came across this thread?

Have you tried talking to her? It sounds as though she chatters non-stop and is not used to listening and hasn't grasped that it is a two way thing.If she starts by telling you her dream then I should tell her about one of yours.It is a much better problem than having a monosyllabic DC who won't communicate.Interrupting people is easy to get out of, just insist that she waits until people have stopped talking. I think telling her to shut up is OK, if said in a friendly way, but dismissing it all as boring is very sad.

Havnt read the whole thread nametaken but you have my sympathies alot! I have a 6 yr old. And although sometimes i wanna scream at him to give his mouth a rest i just say "babes, be quiet for a little bit pleeeeeease"