to tell my dd to shut up

[nametaken]

she doesn't stop talking (she's 11) from the minute she gets up - we all have to hear what she dreamt about (yawn yawn) to the minute she goes to bed.

She must think she's the bees knees, I'm sure she thinks she's my sole reason for living.

She goes on and on and on, interrupting my conversations with friends and my other kids. I wouldn't mind but she never says anything interesting! It's all so mind-numblingly boring!!!!!

Am I being unreasonable to say

"for god's sake shut up"

I think I know what you mean by a child thinking they're the 'bees knees' and no I don't think it's something to aspire to.. I think children should know that we are all important and we all have feelings and no-one is more important than another .. that includes parents, grandparents, siblings, frienda and sworn enemies (of the day)

me, her, her twin and her younger sibling

she shouldnt be interrupting at 11

you can tell her not to interrupt of course. and think Shut up shut up shut up btu say 'dd, just chill for a bit will you I cant hear myself think ' - i said this to dd1 about 15 minutes ago

Hecate you've hit the nail on the head. I've noticed her doing it to all her friends recently and I just don't think its right.

For example, the other day I was driving her and her friend Katie somewhere. I asked Katie if she had had a nice holiday and before she could even answer, my dd said,

"oh we had a great time when we went to blah blah blah"

I was a bit stunned actually. And yeah, she is talking at people, not too them.

that's a nice way to put it Enid

but I've never had a problem with the words 'shut up', I wasn't brought up to consider them rude (although appreciate some people were) ... they just mean 'be quiet, stop flapping your mouth'

so do you say 'dont interrupt'

The thing is, we all know adults who do this and we don't like them. So it's prob a good idea and doing her a favour to get her to see it and stop it.

I think it's pretty normal at 11 to be a bit ..er.. self-obsessed ...I know my DD was (and I'm pretty sure I was at that age too)- it's a phase -when she's 13 - she'll be spending hours sharing her gossip with her friends (and they with her) and you'll probably find it difficult to get anything out of her
'Shut up' wouldn't be nice at all ... I agree with some of the others..I always used to do it in a jokey way too

Kids do that

If I ask one of my kids something, one of the others is likely to top with his or her story. I usually say something along the lines of - I'm come to your story next or I am sure I asked xx a question, hang fire

and don't interrupt it is rude

and for gods sake shut up for a moment will you

Then it could be she needs some lessons in the art of communication! (Perhaps - just a thought) As the saying goes .... we have one mouth and two ears so we should listen twice as much as we talk!

It's a real problem - someone who just wants an audience. And people don't want to be friends with such kind of folk.

my three year old goes on for britain, half the timei dont have a clue what it is she is yacking ona bout and in the end i just looka t her and go blah blah blah...blah blah blah? she laughs and does it back. And if she or her sister interupt me when i am talking to someone or on the phone, they get told to wait.

poor damaged souls

Of course I have conversations with her? Doesn't every mum have conversations with her dd? But they are very very very very very one-sided.

well I think that's rather a strange assumption for a parent to make .. that the reason someone is questioning whether its ok to tell her dd to shut up is because she keeps her in box and never communicates with her .... oh 'scuse me, did I just extrapolate wildly there?

hmm yes see my natural assumptionw oudl be that when she was younger, nametaken spoke to her child loads, and doted on her, hence the constant one sided me me me conversations.

lol at blahblahblah!

I grab mine, shake them and warble "you're driving me craaaaaaaaazy"

It sounds like child abuse but it's actually something that makes them laugh their socks off!!

oh dear i seem to have lost the ability to spell. Apologises!

She needs to learn to listen.

You need to teach her (explictly and by example)

hecate, i tell them that too and when they go on too much i tell them they are weirdos, we then enter a full 5 minute, I AM NOT A WEIRDO, YES YOU ARE shouting match which normally ends in fits of laughter. Possibly not the 'done' thing, ah well!

Clearly the spectrum of 'shut up' is a broad one. As long as you don't end up like the mum I heard yesterday screaming "SHUT YOUR FUCKING LITTLE MOUTH AND GET INSIDE NOW, GET INSIDE NOW, JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH" accompanied by slapping noises and high pitched child sounds, I would think there's a kind way of negotiating the situation.

there's an awful lot of holier-than-thou-ness on this thread.

I agree with twiglet.

Some people seem to think that children should never be challenged, that no-one should ever have any negative feeling towards their child, and that doing so somehow makes one a bad person. Well reality check... children can be annoying sometimes. And sometimes, although we love our children, we don't always like the things they do.

And I don't get all this crap about "well if she's talking a lot maybe she just wants someone to listen to her" (or however it's been worded) - maybe talk talk talk is just something she does. Maybe it's one of the annoying trates she's going to have - just because she's a child doesn't make her immune from being anoying...

Imo the op's only fault here was to admit to thinking like this on mn.