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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think a birthday scratch card win was harmless fun?

170 replies

Fidbdfb · Today 16:30

It was my daughter’s birthday this week, and I got her a scratch card just for a bit of fun.

She ended up winning £100 from a £5 card.

I mentioned it to a friend, but she felt quite strongly that she’d never let her child do anything like that, as she sees it as gambling.

It felt a bit over the top to me, to me it was just a harmless bit of fun for a special occasion....

Is she being over top?

OP posts:
SuzeBr · Today 19:59

Seeingadistance · Today 18:46

It is gambling though.

I was in Halls of Residence at Uni in the 1980s. There were over 200 of us in Halls and we each paid about £20 to a Hall Committee of other students who used the money to pay for parties, newspapers etc. Some of the smart arses on the Committee found out that one of the students there had a gambling problem - he was only 18 at this time and had been gambling since his early teens. His grant was paid to the Uni who basically gave him a weekly allowance from it so he didn't blow the lot in one go. Anyway, the smart arses thought it would be a laugh to make this guy the Hall Committee Treasurer. He withdrew all the money from the bank account, went to the Casino with it, and lost the lot. He also lost his place at uni, and I never saw him again or found out what happened to him.

Although many/most can control their gambling, it can and does wreck lives and it's controlled and age limited for a reason.

That’s awful. Hope the guy managed to break away from gambling and shame on those people putting temptation in his way

Letsgetreadytorhumble · Today 20:02

Not a gift for kids and I am only surprised you did not also give her a starter vape pack and a bacardi breezer too.

RestlessSnail · Today 20:03

I'm torn on this tbh. My gut feeling was that 13 is too young / too far off the legal age, but then it's not unusual to let kids of that age have the odd sip of wine with a meal.
I guess, ultimately, it depends on the kid as to whether the win "goes to their head" (terrible expression, but I can't think of a better one) & you know your kids best.
I definitely don't think the other mum's attitude is automatically the right one - isn't it true that often things which are forbidden can seem more appealing to kids.

Ap42 · Today 20:06

Ah I think its lovely! We traditionally have a scratch card laid out on the Christmas table for young and old. My daughter won £50 when she was 6! I really don't see the issue. And no, no one in the family has a gambling problem!

DavidStopActingLikeADisgruntledPelican · Today 20:07

13? I have to say I wouldn’t buy a scratch card for someone under 18. But I wouldn’t bother having a go at someone else for doing it. I just couldn’t get that worked up about it.

A few years ago in the shop I work in a lady was letting her very young (5/6 year old?) granddaughter choose a scratch card. Having heard the conversation between them, it was very clear the little girl wasn’t just choosing one for granny but the idea was it for her specifically (granny would have her own). We refused the sale as it was literally an attempt at a proxy sale right in front of us and the law is very clear about that. There was a lot of shouting from granny and a couple of other people but there’s a reason the law doesn’t allow children to gamble.

dancehysterical22 · Today 20:09

The national lottery had not long started and my mum and I got my twin brother and me a ticket each for the next draw as part of our birthday present that year (the deal was that if one of us one anything, we had to split it with the other) was kinda cute and a bit of fun. I’m going to check what the year would have been...1994. Our 9th birthday! Neither of us grew to develop gambling issues!

edit to say, actually at least the National Lottery was only once a week at that point so actually, it maybe was a bit different to a scratchcard…

Macinae · Today 20:11

stargirl27 · Today 17:06

God, what a completely weird thing to say.

I know. From scratch cards to vibrators and rape. WTF.

rollerblind · Today 20:11

Obviously the OP would claim the prize. Honestly, IMO it’s fine and a bit of fun

ByUniqueViper · Today 20:17

It was a one off treat. Your friend needs to get a grip!

Momoftwoscallywags · Today 20:18

thisfilmisboring123 · Today 19:51

What would you have done if they had happened to have won?

Unlikley I know, but it does happen?

I made sure it was going to be unlikely.

On the lottery website they list the remaining "big" prizes left against the scratchcards that are currently available to purchase and I just bought the scratchcards where the big prizes had already gone!

When I let my boys know this, it just blew their minds, the talk about gambling being "fixed" was music to my ears! 😆

LOCOJDS · Today 20:21

I get everyone a scratchcard for the dinner table at Christmas, including the kids, just for a bit of fun.

thisfilmisboring123 · Today 20:26

Momoftwoscallywags · Today 20:18

I made sure it was going to be unlikely.

On the lottery website they list the remaining "big" prizes left against the scratchcards that are currently available to purchase and I just bought the scratchcards where the big prizes had already gone!

When I let my boys know this, it just blew their minds, the talk about gambling being "fixed" was music to my ears! 😆

I didn’t know you could do that!

Although I don’t think I’ve ever bought a scratchcard in my life!

My sister usually buys the whole family one each (kids included) for Xmas and whilst I wouldn’t buy them myself, I think it’s harmless once a year.

My daughter won £5 last Christmas and the scratchcard is still in my handbag actually lol.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · Today 20:30

Whatever the feelings are on this thread, your friend sounds like she's playing the one up manship parent card and trying to play the "I'm a superior parent to you" game. I had a friend who did this about everything. Ironically she was the one who used to boast about her son's poker winnings.

Your DD's card won a relatively small prize. You did this as a bit of fun. You don't need anyone's permission and you don't need to feel bad about it.
It's not like you are going through scratch cards with her every week and making a big thing about it.

I hate gambling btw... and thankfully my DC aren't into it. My mum used to give me a lottery ticket as a birthday present ( as an adult in my 30s) and it really used to p me off as she'd make a big deal about how she could be giving me a massive amount of money (in lieu of an actual present) and wanted me to be extra grateful for the "opportunity".... That's not what you were doing.

The people I know who are gamblers are either missing something in their lives and think money is the answer, or are looking for an easy leg up, or compare themselves resentfully to others who are more fortunate, and don't bother to consider how they could put the effort in to get the some of the same rewards.

If you are bringing up your DD to be a well rounded person with lots of other interests i think its very unlikely that your DD will fall into the gambling trap, especially as you are aware of it enough to write this post and are keeping an eye on her. if you have worries about it... start educating her about saving and managing her finances and how to build a secure future for herself- there's so little said about this in schools, particularly for girls and that should counteract any of the "evils of gambling" comments you've had.

Okiedokie123 · Today 20:40

Awesome! Did you buy her some vapes and alcohol too?

StephQ1 · Today 20:46

It’s actually a criminal offence under the Gambling Act in the UK to buy a lottery ticket for a child.

Nobody is likely to prosecute the offence but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is illegal.

OrangeSushi · Today 20:47

Are we the only family (and I actually know we’re not so kind of rhetorical question) that has them on the Christmas dinner table? My mum buys us all one. I used to have a boss that did the same too at the staff Xmas meal.

Just a bit of silly fun.

SouthLondonMum22 · Today 20:55

It isn't something I'd get worked up about but I wouldn't do it myself just because 99% of the time, you don't win anything so doesn't really feel like a gift.

I've also seen the trouble someone winning a gift one at Christmas etc can cause on here.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · Today 20:58

I think my dad got me them for birthdays since I was about 9/10. It’s very normal in my family so I wouldn’t think twice, but I do see the other side when I think about it. None of us are gambling addicts as adults but I do still indulge in scratch card Sunday with my dad.

Isitevensummer · Today 21:01

Malasana · Today 16:33

It depends how old the child is really.

I’d not want my child to equate gambling and winning at an early age when they don’t also understand that they’re more likely to lose.

This country has a massive gambling problem, with the attendant suicides to prove it. Normalizing gambling with children is dangerous.

StephQ1 · Today 21:03

Isitevensummer · Today 21:01

This country has a massive gambling problem, with the attendant suicides to prove it. Normalizing gambling with children is dangerous.

Gambling harm rates in the UK are amongst the lowest in the entire world. The media narrative is incredibly disingenuous and fuelled by anti gambling campaigners.

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