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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think a birthday scratch card win was harmless fun?

355 replies

Fidbdfb · 04/06/2026 16:30

It was my daughter’s birthday this week, and I got her a scratch card just for a bit of fun.

She ended up winning £100 from a £5 card.

I mentioned it to a friend, but she felt quite strongly that she’d never let her child do anything like that, as she sees it as gambling.

It felt a bit over the top to me, to me it was just a harmless bit of fun for a special occasion....

Is she being over top?

OP posts:
ClearFruit · 05/06/2026 19:50

BlueWellieSocks · 04/06/2026 16:36

Well, if letting her win £100 on a scratch card isn't a way to encourage a child to gamble I don't know what is.

Edited

This.

Blades2 · 05/06/2026 19:50

Both my kids, who are now 17 and 20,have been given Xmas scratch card in their Christmas Eve bags for years now. Neither are gambling addicted young adults 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2026 19:53

All these people saying she is "too young to gamble" she isnt gambling!

She was given a gift that may, or may not, lead to her getting some money and she got some money. You could argue that the OP wasnt gambling either as she knew when she paid for the card that she wasnt getting her money back!

MrsGrumpyKnickers · 05/06/2026 20:02

OMG so much pearl clutching! A scratchcard it just a bit of fun if handled the right way. Brilliant that she won £100 - what fun! If you’d rushed out to spend the winnings on more scratch cards then I’d be concerned…
My kids (20 and 17) both have some premium bonds - I bought them each £100 when they were born and a relative just bought them a few hundred more each. One of them won £1000 last year and there was no expectation for them to share it - it’s just the luck of the draw, a life lesson.

C152 · 05/06/2026 20:03

Well, your friend was right, it is gambling. I don't think her reaction was over the top - I wouldn't allow a child to bet on horses either, as I don't think it is 'harmless fun'. If you're happy to lose the money (which you generally are, if you're throwing it away on a scratchy), it would be more useful to teach your child how to invest.

As to whether a scratch card would lead to gambling on something else, it depends on the personality. I can see why people who have gamblers in the family would be strongly averse to all forms of gambling (I'm not saying this is why your friend objects to them, but it may be a possibility).

Firefly1987 · 05/06/2026 20:05

WhatYouWearing · 05/06/2026 18:24

Next posters will be suggesting your DD will demand a huge birthday cake for every day of the year just because she got one on her birthday. The people I know who gamble also drink and smoke. They have addicted personalities. I don’t think a one off birthday treat will hurt.

You can avoid drinking and smoking all your life though. I think what OP did is fine for the vast majority of kids but if you do have one that ends up having an addictive personality it could potentially be a problem.

Dameputtingonabraveface · 05/06/2026 20:06

As someone who has lived with a gambler, someone who was very high up in their profession and always on a good salary, what I would like to add, I would be worried about the message this gives out to your child.

Gambling is highly addictive and those early wins can be very destructive. The message that it is 'harmless' is worrying. The reality is that most people do not win big, but keep chasing those early small wins. When they loose, addicts will throw more at it to 'win back'. Gambling really destroys lives on so many levels. I think we have all been waiting to be served in local shops and seen people trade in small scratch cards wins for more cards hoping to win big?

I am very 'live and let live', but the psychology of gambling and 'chasing the win' is a real thing. At the moment your DC has basically learnt for a pound or 2 they can get £100. That is just luck, so you really need to reinforce that. At their age and level of maturity I would be very worried about how you manage this. I am not saying this is your child, but for some people, a win like this is not 'a lucky windfall' but an opening to trying to chase bigger wins.

Firefly1987 · 05/06/2026 20:10

hugasaurus · 04/06/2026 21:14

Has anyone ever run to a teddy tombola with a couple of those giant bears? We almost had to cut a kid off at the local fair as he came back about 10 times to try to win it. In the end it was near the end of the day and we wanted to get away so we just gave him it. Nothing is safe! Grin

Haha that reminds me of when I went to a school fair and tried to win a goldfish. My teacher (who didn't like me) was running it so I wouldn't totally put it past him to rig it or maybe I'm just so unlucky. Anyway I spent so much of my mum's money just trying to win a goldfish that in the end the teacher just gave me it!

grumpygrape · 05/06/2026 20:27

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2026 19:53

All these people saying she is "too young to gamble" she isnt gambling!

She was given a gift that may, or may not, lead to her getting some money and she got some money. You could argue that the OP wasnt gambling either as she knew when she paid for the card that she wasnt getting her money back!

Came on to say exactly this 👍

carolipankas · 05/06/2026 21:12

Of course it's okay! Ignore the po faces! I'm sure you'll emphasize the obvious point that gambling rarely pays off & that this is a lucky aberration. She should enjoy the money!

JennyBG · 05/06/2026 21:22

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 04/06/2026 16:35

You have to be 18 to buy/play a scratch card.

I have no problem with my younger kids having them occasionally. We put the odd one in a Christmas stocking.

They have learnt all too soon that they rarely win.

Lots of people really hate gambling though, many with very good reason.

I should imagine the mum 'is' over 18 if her daughter is 13 🤷🏼‍♀️ The daughter didn’t buy the ticket herself, her mother simply gifted it.

VividPinkTraybake · 05/06/2026 21:25

Floppyearedlab · 04/06/2026 16:42

She’s jealous

Make sure you put it in DD savings account or use it for a fun experience for you both

Edited

Such a tired response. No the grown woman is probably not jealous and is actually concerned about her friend's very early teen.

Not every disagreement is due to jealousy...come on

ParagonParrot · 05/06/2026 21:30

I wouldn’t even consider buying a child, or indeed anyone, a scratch card as a present. It is giving a weird message that gambling is entertainment and some kind of present to yourself. I just think it’s a very odd thing to do and I think it gives out a strange, negative, dubious message.

VividPinkTraybake · 05/06/2026 21:32

Shelleyblueeyes · 04/06/2026 17:29

OMG I bet you're fun at parties.
😴

Another tired response. I'm not actually opposed to the o.p giving the scratchcard tbh, just fed up with such obvious and thoughtless replies

VividPinkTraybake · 05/06/2026 21:33

carolipankas · 05/06/2026 21:12

Of course it's okay! Ignore the po faces! I'm sure you'll emphasize the obvious point that gambling rarely pays off & that this is a lucky aberration. She should enjoy the money!

Why are you sure of the last part?

Bearness · 05/06/2026 22:04

Troublein · 04/06/2026 17:05

I don't think it's the end of the world, but I don't understand why you can't allow your child to be a child for the very few years she has left.

She has the rest of her life to do adult things, and so very few years to be a child.
Why are you teaching her that only adult things are fun?

You have positively reinforced the idea that fun comes from gambling as she has had a taste of winning this way.

Would you buy her a vibrator at her age?
I see it as an equally adult thing and I think you should leave adult things to adults.

The law has decided children should not be gambling, you are teaching her to flout the law for no real gain.

It's a little thing, but the breakdown of society starts with the little things.

If you have seen the state of our country, where the price for raping your little girl was recently set at £26 by a judge, you'd know this is not a society where it's safe to be a little girl already.

Are you ok? Seriously, are you in need of help? How have you reached out to refer to vibrators and rape of a child when someone has purchased a scratch card?

A scratched card is gambling, a tombola at a school fete is a version of this, a 2p machine at the arcade is a version of this, the claw machines are a version of this.

Vibrators and rape, totally different thing.

Imanautumn · 05/06/2026 22:07

Fidbdfb · 04/06/2026 16:30

It was my daughter’s birthday this week, and I got her a scratch card just for a bit of fun.

She ended up winning £100 from a £5 card.

I mentioned it to a friend, but she felt quite strongly that she’d never let her child do anything like that, as she sees it as gambling.

It felt a bit over the top to me, to me it was just a harmless bit of fun for a special occasion....

Is she being over top?

When I was a kid my parents placed a bet from each of us on the grand national each year, I generally picked based on the colour of the jockeys clothes, I have by some miracle avoided becoming a hardened gambler…..

Imanautumn · 05/06/2026 22:09

Bearness · 05/06/2026 22:04

Are you ok? Seriously, are you in need of help? How have you reached out to refer to vibrators and rape of a child when someone has purchased a scratch card?

A scratched card is gambling, a tombola at a school fete is a version of this, a 2p machine at the arcade is a version of this, the claw machines are a version of this.

Vibrators and rape, totally different thing.

I think somebody should send her help right away.

pouletvous · 05/06/2026 22:15

No, that’s a weird present for a 13 year old

Booboobagins · 05/06/2026 22:23

I used to ask my dad to put dog bets on for me when I was a kid and had no idea how cruel it is 😞

They were 27p (27 x1p forecasts) that accumulated. I invariably won a few quid regularly. I was about 12/13. I haven't turned into a hardcore gambler or anything.

I hope she enjoys spending her £100!!!

ThatRareHazelTiger · 05/06/2026 22:30

Think there are some over the top comments here. I think it’s no issue for a treat. I used to do the lottery every week with my dad. Lots of fun. I am not a gambler or scarred for life. Never do the lottery now. If anything it taught me you never win.

ForestHare · 05/06/2026 22:37

As the spouse of a scratch card addict, no I dont see it as harmless fun at all. I used to, and didn't think anything of them being put in his bday cards. I understand not everyone will end up this way, but you never know who it will be, and you cant tell by looks or lifestyle so you never know who is going through it, or who is likely to end up with a problem.

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2026 23:04

ThatRareHazelTiger · 05/06/2026 22:30

Think there are some over the top comments here. I think it’s no issue for a treat. I used to do the lottery every week with my dad. Lots of fun. I am not a gambler or scarred for life. Never do the lottery now. If anything it taught me you never win.

I used to play it weekly (made the mistake of picking numbers) and think if I had saved all those £2's over the years I wouldnt need to win the lottery!

Firefly1987 · 05/06/2026 23:07

ThatRareHazelTiger · 05/06/2026 22:30

Think there are some over the top comments here. I think it’s no issue for a treat. I used to do the lottery every week with my dad. Lots of fun. I am not a gambler or scarred for life. Never do the lottery now. If anything it taught me you never win.

But OPs daughter did win-and therein lies the problem. She's already had that dopamine rush.

IFeelLikeChickenTonite · 05/06/2026 23:07

I have bought my kids a scratch card each in their stocking at Christmas since they were about 10. Eldest is now 18 and not showing any signs of a gambling addiction!

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