In-laws: giving child choking hazard sweets!

[WhoSaidWhat123]

I’m sure I’ve made a post before with in-laws giving my 3yo mini eggs. This is after we have told them in the past that these are choking hazards for under 5’s after we found out they were giving them to our, now 8yo, when she was a toddler.

following this I hoped that it has stopped. However they have just brought both DD’s home from school and both were eating a boiled sweet, which again is obviously a choking hazard for young children. What is worse is that it was while they were in the car. And then they come home running around with the sweet in her mouth, luckily I was working from home today and made her spit it out once I realised, AIBU? How do I approach this issue once again? We do, unfortunately, rely on them with picking the girls from school then staying with them for 30-60mins until DH gets home. This is around 3 times a week. I just asked eldest DD how often they have these sweets and she has said every time 😫

also, in-laws stated years ago in conversation that they would not know what to do if DD choked while with them and that they would panic! So why do they give them known choking hazards!

I would print off some of the latest guidance and information. They won’t know about it.
And are doing what grandparents have often done. Given their grandchildren sweets.

Head would be stopped by back of car seat. Sweet stopped at back of windpipe.

Actually, just being in the car minus the boiled sweets is more dangerous. Over the last 5 years around 60 children have died in car crashes, whereas there have been around 15 deaths by choking.
So statistically, the grandparents should not be driving the children to and from school at all.

I don't know?? We grew up in a different time where 40 kids out of billions wasn't really something to get worked up about. Anyway, the questions been answered, so I appreciate you taking the time.

Umm, right!!? Anyway, I said I'm leaving because I lack the understanding of it all and have nothing constructive to add. APART from, neurotic or otherwise, I think grandparents should try to honour mums wishes (even if they are a bit...) out of respect for the relationship which I guess should be pointed out.

Those people sneering at this post are clearly fortunate enough to have never witnessed someone choke to death! Let me tell you it is a horrific experience for them and everyone involved. I am team absolutely no lollipops, boiled sweets or unsliced fruit and veg for my child and any in my care. I have read up on the different choking methods for different ages/sizes but it’s also well known most parents etc panic/freeze when it’s their own child. Be honest with the in laws tell them it’s your rule no choking hazard foods, show them some of the stories etc and ask them to learn the basic first aid steps x

I choked on a boiled sweet in the car as a child and I still remember how scared I was
my mum was pulling out of a side road and had to brake heavily and it went to the back of my throat and got lodged. She thumped me on the back heavily several times and it flew out
haven’t eaten one since

People who say "there are worse hazards" every time anyone points out a hazard are idiots.

Most decent parents and grandparents try to reduce risks to their children/grandchildren rather than playing russian roulette with some boiled sweets and a three year old.

There are loads of sweets and snacks that aren't a choking risk so why wouldn't the grandparents give those to their three year old grandchild?

Any age can choke but it's highest in the under 5's. Lollipops and boiled sweets can be dangerous for young children, but then they can choke on anything. A two year old choked on a single pea and died in a creche.

The grandparents should respect the OP's decision though it might be a good idea for OP to give suggestions on what the grandparents can give their grandchildren if they want to treat them.

While I totally see the risk, 'car sweets' were totally normal when I, and quite probably their kids, were young. In fact for my y6 residential the only sweets that were allowed on the coach were boiled (me and friend had to ride our bikes to the old fashion sweet shop on the other side of town spercificly for them).

Bit of a tangent, but I suspect they just haven't understood the issue and are doing what seems normal to them. I'd probably buy them a big pack of jelly babies or something you're OK with, and ask them to keep them in the car and give the kids one of them instead. Now the routine is established, a safe alternative is probably easier all round then a 3yo crying when they don't get their usual treat, which will in turn could tempt the gp to keep giving the sweets for an easier journey.

All the choking warnings I see are not to be given to children under 3. Your child will be fine.

And many have choked to death from confectionery!!!!!!

Good grief

Why are you so adamant that kids NEED boiled sweets in the car? Very strange.

Don't be so ridiculous, I was born in the late 80s and choked on a hard boiled sweet when I was 10, luckily a family member happened to be there who was first aid trained and removed it. My brother choked on a sweet in the back of a car at around the same age and luckily I was in the back and told my parents and they managed to remove it.

Both of those situations could have been fatal, and having experienced a child in our family dying of other causes I can guarantee that causes far more mental health issues than not being allowed a sweet. My kids aren’t allowed round lollipops or hard boiled sweets full stop. They eat plenty of other treats, no joy has been taken from them.

Yes-also I would pay for a first aid course for them, so they do know what to do. I actually think (most) everyone should have to do one.

I was in a toy shop a few years back and there was a fella going around giving kids hard boiled sweets. He worked there before anyone says anything! He gave a child who looked about 3 years of age one of the sweets and lo and behold, the child started choking on it! Luckily he managed to swallow it but it could have been a tragedy! Also hard boiled sweets and lollipops are terrible for kids teeth!

That’s true. But also….. if I hadn’t raised the alarm as a child (approx7-8) my brother would have died aged 5 whilst eating a lollipop on a stick. Thankfully I did when I saw it had fallen of the stick and was in his throat. My mum held him upside down over the sink until out it fell.
It’s a risk not worth taking.
I doubt you would question the use of seatbelts in cars or safety near water/whilst swimming. Why risk death by choking?

Book them into afterschool club

My Mum’s friend very nearly died from choking on a boiled sweet as a child 70 years ago. Why risk it?

Yes I can’t understand why people would risk it. Before my DGS was born DH and I went on a child first aid course because choking was our biggest fear. I’m always careful to cut things up
properly and not give anything that could be a hazard. I can’t imagine having to call my DSD and tell her that her child had choked to death because I thought I knew better…

I agree. Sure, it's fine to be sensible, but it amuses me all this angst about the possibility of choking from parents who are constantly out and about driving with their kids - they never seem to think that could be dangerous.

Driving with kids? We need to get to and from places and can't avoid travel altogether. We mitigate the risks by wearing seatbelts/having car seats, driving carefully, considering cars with good safety features etc.

Boiled sweets? Not really a necessary part of life. You can mitigate the risk of choking hazards by offering safter alternatives, chopping grapes and sausages and saving the boiled sweets and mini eggs until they're older. Having choking hazards in cars or while running around is actively increasing that risk.

Why would you risk the life of a 3 year old for a boiled sweet when you can entirely eliminate that risk?

As an adult I choked on a grape and had to have a chest thrust to remove it . Also ex AE nurse and have witnessed the worst case scenario!
My children and grandchildren have never had lollipops,grapes or boiled sweets on my watch!