AIBU to take sick leave when I am completely exhausted?

[Wineandrun]

AIBU to take some time off?

I work four days a week from home and am studying part time. I have three young kids, two with ADHD/SEN. I have some health issues going on which mean I can’t eat without vomiting and I’m anaemic (being investigated, but means I’m exhausted). Husband is brilliant but works full time out of the house and often away (this cannot change). I’m so tired. And feel so unwell. I just need to stop but I feel really guilty. Husband thinks because I can sit at my desk I shouldn’t have time off. I have zero downtime from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. I need a week to let my body try and recover. Should I just power through? I’m worried if they do find something wrong with me I’ll need time off then and will regret taking time now.

He doesn't sound brilliant to me. Sit at a desk. What a prat.
Only you know how this would affect your employment, but I think going sick might be a great idea.

It sounds like you are actually ill though? Not just tired with normal work stuff but otherwise completely healthy.

Unless you're in probation or your company is going through redundancies or something similar that might mean going off ill is counted against you, I'd absolutely do it. It might even be better for your work long term if you came back after a week and were able to give 100% rather than struggling along not being able to work properly for months.

You have medical issues and are feeling exhausted as a result. Totally reasonable to take time off. In fact if you can't keep food down and are anaemic presumably you aren't going to be able to perform properly at work anyway. Frame it to work that your absence is due to your inability to keep food down and anaemia and associated extreme fatigue, not just being tired. I would imagine that your GP will happily sign you off once your ability to self certify expires.

Are the investigations proceeding swiftly?

Since you actually sound to be unwell, I wouldn't feel guilty about this. AFAIK you can self-certify for the first week of any illness, so do it. You're sick, so don't feel guilty and ignore your 'D'H's ignorant comments. No job is ever worth making yourself ill (or even iller) for.

If you take a week off, what would be different upon your return to work that would mean you can cope though? Your studying, children and husband working away would still exist. As would the vomiting unless you currently have a diagnosis and treatment underway.
I’m not saying don’t take the week as you clearly need to but you also need to spend time thinking and putting in place something to mitigate this as you’ll be exhausted all over again and in the long term that’s neither good for you or for your job and employment prospects.

Take the time off. You really need to rest and try to recover.

It sounds like a day or two off would possibly help. But they have to be totally off. You can’t choose to take sick leave from work and still study. It sounds like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew and you have to decide your priorities for the longer term.

Agree with @Malasana - it is a temporary fix. Could you put the studying on hold for a little while until you resolve your medical problem?

Take the time off. I’d actually go further and suggest you see your GP and ask for a sick/fit note and take 2 weeks. Seriously.

I was in a similar situation last summer, powered through and ended up getting shingles and being very unwell. My immune system was shot to bits from never getting enough rest if any time to myself. I wish I’d taken even a few days off much earlier.

@latetothefisting yes she sounds completely healthy what with the vomiting after eating anything and the no oxygen carrying capacity in her blood, lazy bitch.

Is this not what AL is for?

Take a week off, will you be better next week?

What are you studying, can you put it on hold for the time being?

This.

One week won’t do anything.

I think you might have misread the post. She says it does sound like she is ill.

I don’t understand your post.
This person was supporting the OP

🤣 oh yes sorry @latetothefisting . Must stop drinking before 11.

Way to go @JudithsDead haha
What did you start on?

How would this solve anything? Especially if you need the money it could just make things much worse.

I think you need to get your eating issues resolved and concentrate on that. I also think that your DH needs to help more and maybe cut his own hours, or agree to you cutting yours. But you need a long term solution, not just to go off sick.

What would you do off sick anyway? If just sleep, can you leave your DH with the kids on his own at the weekend and camp in a hotel.

It can also be a bit stressful being on sick leave anyway, especially if you need regular sick notes and or your work have requirements to report in etc. I wouldn’t underestimate that.

Also if you can’t eat solids, have you tried liquid foods (I think places like Wiltshire farm do them) and iron supplements in liquid form?

It sounds like you are ill, so you need time off.

However, if you take time off you shouldn’t be studying during that time as the fact that your OH works away, you have Sen kids and have chosen to study and work at the same time is not your workplace’s responsibility.

Why are you studying as well if you cant manage the burden of work and your family life? Maybe the must do’s would be more manageable if the studies went on hold until you feel better?

Drop the studying, take time off, rest and recover.

Ask your GP to sign you off OP, you sound burnt out and you’re not going to get better if you’re exhausted.

You're ill now. You need time off now.

How do you think you're going to power through? You're only going to run yourself into the wall. What happens if you are so exhausted you physically can't get up in the morning cause you tried to power through it?

You need and deserve time off.

It sounds like you’re actually physically unwell, in that case sick leave is ok. Otherwise, if you just need some time off to recharge, that’s what annual leave is for.
You should also think about the long-term, if this is more than just a short-term issue then maybe working + studying + childcare + husband away just isn’t sustainable and you need to look at making changes.

I was going to suggest this, too. You sound completely swamped OP, be kind to yourself and look at what you can change, and what you can’t change and decide from there.
You can always pick up studying a little further down the line, it won’t disappear.
Take care of yourself first, always. 🌸

OP you sound unwell so taking off sick is perfectly normal. If you don't think so, could you use some AL?