How to advise DD

[cupfinalchaos]

Dd 29 been with partner 5 yrs and they rent together. Neither of them are particularly high earners and dd assumed if they got married they would get a mortgage together. Partner’s dad has now decided to help his son buy a house via a trust fund- so the trust would be taking out a mortgage. It transpires his dad is a very wealthy man. I don’t blame him with the divorce rate as it is. They would both be living there and partner would not want dd to pay rent.

Aibu to help her get a small buy to let so she has something in her (or the mortgage lender’s!) name? We can give her a small deposit. I’m not sure what to do for the best.

Being a landlord would be really awful. Having a managing agent can be expensive. Tenants might mess her about and refuse to pay rent - it's hard to kick them out and she'd never be able to claim costs for damages in the house. I agree with the others about investing the money. I think if I were her I probably wouldn't mention this to my boyfriend, not given his attitude about prenups.

I don’t think I’d like this arrangement. If they split up divorce does that mean she’s left with nothing? I think if she’s happy to proceed I’d get some financial advice from a professional. I also wouldn’t like his dad and step dad calling the shots.

Why are people running their marriage like a business?

You and DD should watch the Rebel Finance School on YouTube. It starts tonight - it's free! - and she'll learn all about S&S ISAs. Much better than a buy to let.

I was also thinking similar throughout. I bought a house when I was 31 and partner 28. We had advice from family and my dad as an ex financial advisor but we decided things ourselves. MAybe offered the advice which is given above but let both of them make the decisions.

Stocks and shares ISA would be far better than a buy to let. Really encourage her to invest what she would have spent each month on rent. Have her do some research on global equities and the power of compound interest.

Any savings are also an asset and it’s against the law to “stash “ them away and not declare them in the event of a divorce.

If they were to decide to marry, that would be the time for them to sit down together and discuss how they would achieve a sense of equity, so she is not disadvantaged in the event of children and worst-case-scenario if they were to divorce.

These are essential conversations to have prior to marriage and/or parenthood. Women get screwed over time and time again.

Being a landlord is not for the faint of heart and can be an almighty headache.

Prenups aren’t simply imposed, they’re negotiated, and must be fair to both parties. He can protects his assets from being considered marital property, and she can do the same for any savings and investments.

I wouldn’t advise her to go down the BTL route at all.

The deposit is not hers. The money currently belongs to her mum. It's not against the law for her mum to invest this and later gift any proceeds to her daughter if she wants to.

Absolutely. She’s earning a decent salary and if she makes sacrifices to be home with kids that needs to be reflected in any future prenup.

Of course she wants my input I’m her mother, someone with her interests at heart. You don’t stop being their mother when they turn 30.. or 40 for that matter.

Agreed. I’m jumping the gun because all their friends are getting married now.

Yup- dh would get his best lawyer onto it.

This 100%

In this situation, I would invest the money in a LISA (lifetime ISA) not a BTL unless your DD wants to become a landlord as a side project. Returns are decreasing on BTL, and if the relationship did fail and she needed somewhere to live she wouldn't be able to for several months if the property is tenanted. Financially, investing likely to be the best decision. Psychologically, she may like the idea of a home of her own. I wonder how it will be for her always living in his house?

She’s a creative girl and not great with that type of thing (like me).. i can’t imagine her researching compound interest!

His father sounds very controlling. They should get married and then buy a house together. If parents can help with a deposit, that’s great. Living in a property or bed by his Dad’s trust fund sounds infantilising.

But you think she can be a landlord and all the responsibility that entails?

Nothing on this earth would tempt me to become a landlord. Is it something she really wants to take on?

Why would you need to help get a btl, if she is living rent free could she not afford it herself? Surely she is able to figure it out herself at that age 🤷🏼‍♀️

She doesn’t know how to use google? Perhaps you need to start there with her in terms of advice.

I think it's sensible of her DP's father to be protecting his assets. I would do the same. I'd have no problem if any partner of mine wanted to agree a prenup or protect historic family income. And I'd be suspicious in their shoes of anyone who did have a problem with it. It's not a criticism of their relationship - or dooming it to fail - it's all hypothetical.

I would however be asking questions

• what happens when we have children
• what if I go part time to cover childcare to enable YOUR career
• will the prenup reflect and change depending on the number of years we're together?

I have no knowledge of BTL Vs Cash ISAS but the idea of everyone communicating openly about finances, sounds pretty sensible to me

No way would I marry a man who insisted on a prenup.

We’d be giving her the deposit for it.