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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my 5 yr old ds to go boxing? would you?

112 replies

hayley2u · 23/06/2008 10:59

sorry another post from me, my life is like a soap opera lol

ok so so my son loves to play box, but dont all boys?
so just has phone call of ex dps parents to ask y views on my ds who is 5 (6 next month) on him going boxing. i completly refused and aid over my dead body.
the exs dp's are against it, its ds dads idea.
i am against this i hate violence, and dont really want to introduce him to this life, plus he s still my baby and dont want him to get hurt. he 's quite timid anyway and his dad wants to toughen him up.
if he was much older andhe really wanted to do it fine id think on it although dont agree. but for now i am not budging
am i being unreasonable ?, whats your views would you let your child?

OP posts:

onebatmother · 23/06/2008 11:00

YANBU

tantamount to abuse imo

poor you

OverMyDeadBody · 23/06/2008 11:03

yanbu.

Tell your exdp that when DS asks and shows an interest in it of his own accord that then you might consider it.

I hate this view that boys somehow need to be toughened up. What utter bollox. Plenty of other sport activities he can take up at his age.

cory · 23/06/2008 11:03

Absolutely not!

OverMyDeadBody · 23/06/2008 11:04

I wouldn't call it abuse though OBM, if there are boxing clubs for 5 year olds they are probably very taame with minimal physical contact, like martial arts classes for this age group.

Original poster

hayley2u · 23/06/2008 11:09

maybe so but we al know boxing is fighting. and i dont want my child getting cabbaged ars from it. hes a lovely child.
he does not have to fight he only just started school and atm he is very popular so why do i need to wreck this for him

can i just say when i was in relationship with ds father, he showed me a video when he was younger when his dad took him boxing. ex p was sobbing on it as he hated it so what the hell i he thinking.

OP posts:

onebatmother · 23/06/2008 11:10

Oh I thought he was being taken to a boxing match! so sorry OP and everyone else.

But still loathe the idea of boxinf for 5 yr olds, and the idea of 'toughening them up'- vile.

FAQ · 23/06/2008 11:13

YANBU at all.

I'd feel differently if your DS wanted to go and had expressed an interest, but definitely not for the reasons that have been given.

Original poster

hayley2u · 23/06/2008 11:13

sorty i was not very clear. he wants him to learn to fight.
he ll have to kill me first lol

OP posts:

Bucharest · 23/06/2008 11:17

YANBU at all. All boys love to box because they see violent cartoons etc on television.

katw3kitts · 23/06/2008 11:22

Not something I'd want my son to do, and he hasnt expressed an interest so far thankfully.

Wrestling... thats another story, he's not allowed to watch anymore (and I'm not the only one at school with this rule) its just taken back into the playground and then trouble starts .......

Original poster

hayley2u · 23/06/2008 11:26

no he has never mentioned he wants to go boxing, and i might suggest he shops thattape to his son if he is adament.
my ds does not watch wrestling or boxing, but does watch telly programs whitch contain fighting, but its in a fun way which is why he likes to play he his not rough, just likes the fun

OP posts:

juniperdewdrop · 23/06/2008 11:28

I think a lot of dads live through their kids like some mums do too.
YANBU. He's too young and would no doubt end up in trouble at school showing off his new skills. Although lots of kids do martial arts at this age but for some reason boxing seems different?

worriedmumto2 · 23/06/2008 11:33

it looks violent it is bloody violent. jes juniper he will do it at school, and he s not had any trouble. if he wants to in big school fine but not now.

juniperdewdrop · 23/06/2008 11:34

yes he needs to be more disciplined IMO.

melpomene · 23/06/2008 11:37

Can you compromise and and arrange for him to do something like judo or karate instead? (if he wants to, of course). Judo, karate etc do at least seem to have more dimensions of discipline, self control and developing skills and are not simply about hitting other people.

Miggsie · 23/06/2008 11:39

YANBU...his dad wants to "toughen him up"???!!!!!!!

Oh dear, it would be better if the dad recognises the son that he has, not the one he wants.

I would not agree to boxing, Martial Arts may be a compromise, as it is all non contact for the younger ones.
But if your son has not expressed an interest don't bother.

My friend had an exH who showed her sons nasty and violent videos to "make men of them". One had nightmares and cried for days, don't let the dad do this to him.
Well done you for not wanting to send your son to this.

Alambil · 23/06/2008 11:42

Can't they do a martial art instead; self defense, good skills for life, increase self esteem, confidence and keep fit - and no actual contact if you do something like kick-boxing (at least, it's not at our local school)

DS is very lacking in confidence and all sorts so I'm putting him in for kick-boxing soon - he can't wait.

Normal boxing I wouldn't though!

Original poster

hayley2u · 23/06/2008 11:44

his dad better toughen up because if he sends him , he better have god boxing skills because i will floor him lol.
yr miggsie. prob no a good thing to show him the vidios .
mel i will speak to him about sending him somewhere like that, omprimising i just dont want to introduce this too early

OP posts:

Original poster

hayley2u · 23/06/2008 11:46

lewis fan how old is your son? let us know how he gets on at kickboxing , dont mind if no contact or to know he is doing violence

OP posts:

batters · 23/06/2008 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alambil · 23/06/2008 12:06

He's 5 and a half.

We've been to see the lessons before signing up - they just learn to kick high, strong and balance/punch - but not eachother; it's all done on punch bags!

They learn to block eachother though so they "pretend" to fight - but it's all slow and controlled. Sometimes they just stand in a line going through the blocks one by one - not infront of eachother

Flibbertyjibbet · 23/06/2008 12:08

We are going to send our two to the martial arts centre near here when ds2 is 3 next spring. 16 m age gap so we will start them both at the same time instead of ds1 going and then practising on his brother!
For some reason I think martial arts like kick boxing, kung fu etc are better than glove boxing.
My two are not lacking in confidence - its an over abundance of energy that I think martial arts would be good for in our case!.

People get brain damage and in rare cases die from boxing punches. I don't recall hearing those sort of things happening in martial arts.

Flibbertyjibbet · 23/06/2008 12:10

Lewisfan that all sounds fab - I'm going to call in the martial arts centre today in case I need to put their names down.

GreenMonkies · 23/06/2008 12:17

No, No, No!

Boxing and little boys do not mix! I hate it, it's sick.

If he wants to learn to "fight" send him to a good Tae Kwon Do class where he'll also be taught why he shouldn't!!

My DD1 wants to do it so she can be like Daphne in Scooby Doo! We'll see.......

Monkies

CoteDAzur · 23/06/2008 12:19

Martial arts are great not only for building confidence, but also physical strength and balance.

I don't understand why you are against it. Surely your 5 year old will not really be boxing and coming home all bloody after having broken his friends' noses or something.

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