To think a lot of people make poor spending choices and then blame everything else?

[ThatTidySnake]

A lot of people are making very poor choices about what they spend their money on, and then it becomes everyone else’s problem or fault when they end up in an overdraft, with credit card debt or unable to afford things like repairs, food or presents. I get that not everyone is in the same position and circumstances matter, but it does sometimes feel like personal responsibility gets overlooked.

AIBU?

Completely agree. I have a rule now that I don’t lend money because of got sick of being the back up plan for people who chose to buy nonessential wants instead of paying their council tax or filling their car up.

A competent adults inability to budget correctly is not my problem. Now I send links to food banks instead of bank transfers.

Who are all these people and who are they blaming?

Agree but now I dont discuss money with people in RL
Always " skint" and looking for sympathy, someone elses fault, someone needs to dooooooo something !

Nod and smile

Yes and no. People are advertised to at every turn and told to part with their money. It is clever and manipulative. You think you are above being advertised to and can see through it, you are not.
And everything is so much more expensive now. So a simple "you are buying too many wants it is your fault" is just insulting at this point.

Never discuss your finances with anyone. I have a friend who pleads poverty. She is not rich but she certainly isn’t poor, she has spent £350 on a Festival ticket recently. I think her issue is her parents were significantly wealthier than
her but they were hospital consultants and her sister is an architect with her own practice in a very long marriage married to another architect. My friend has been divorced twice and works in a sort of middle range local government admin job. So compared to her closest relatives she is much poorer. Her parents needed nursing care for over a decade, they lived to mid nineties so all the money disappeared but I know her parents bought her a house.

I actually feel the opposite. It is far from black and white and circumstances aren't considered enough.

So is this a basic, it's your own fault you're poor type of post. A sneering attack on the less fortunate?

Personal responsibility is vanishing, it is a choice no one is forced too

I get the feeling you’re talking about more than avocado on sourdough and lattes.
I don’t really know any of the people you’re coming up against, everyone I know is (or at the very least appears to be) financially quite sensible. Other than a few people more than 20 years ago, no one has asked me for money for anything because they’ve been frivolous and not got enough left for essentials.
But I accept that there are definitely people who do make poor financial decisions. There was a person on here in the last few days saying they had booked a holiday on a whim after a couple of drinks that the next day they bitterly regretted for a number of reasons and because it was a last minute holiday it was non refundable. I actually thought to myself then, “you stupid idiot”.

I disagree.

Everyone is being advertised to but some are still more sensible than others.

And some own their own irresponsibility better than others.

Yes, to a point. My parents earned less than my auntie and uncle, but were very frugal so are very comfortable in their retirement, and my uncle keeps trying to borrow money from my mum for some emergency or other, but then they go on holidays etc, and haven't paid her back.

My brother is on NMW on a zero hours contract, but his bought his own house (in a cheap area for around 130k), but my cousin who earns quite well lost her social housing for not paying her rent and is back living with my uncle and aunty in her 50's. DH and I earn very mid level salaries (nhs clinical) but own a house worth nearly 1 million with a 200k mortgage, through working our way up the ladder.

But some people work really hard and make very sensible decisions and then lose their job and struggle to get another, or become disabled, or their partner dies and they struggle with bills on their own.

Ultimately, as long as someone is self sufficient and not asking you for money, it's no one else's business.

We have relatives who are mortgaged to the hilt (£600-700k mortgage), earn at least £6k/month as a couple but I often hear how they ‘don’t have the money’ for things like filling their oil tank up. They will not cut back on the all inclusive holidays, the leased cars and are constantly doing their house up. Yet they are ‘struggling’ and are bankrolled by their parents all the time which enables their behaviour. Crazy!

I'm an accountant. I see people's spending and finances on a day to day basis, whether their business finances or personal finances. I despair at the way some of them literally waste money. We desperately need financial awareness education across the board. Even well educated people don't seem to understand money, even people like Maths graduates can't control their finances. Things like not shopping around, buying multiple items because they bought the wrong one (and too lazy to return for refund), leaving savings in accounts with no/low interest rates, "forgetting" to pay off a credit card despite having money to do so. And yes, most of the time, these are the people whingeing about cost of living, not having savings, running out of money before the month end, not having anything to pay the tax bill with despite being high earners, etc, having no "back up" plans if things go wrong, not having life insurance, not having a pension, not having health insurance etc. Of course, different at different income levels, but the problem spans ALL income levels, all educational levels, etc. By contrast, again, spanning all income and education levels, there are other people who are really in control, make the right decisions, etc. So it's not a "rich versus poor" thing nor "education standard" thing. It's a personality thing, backed by lack of formal financial awareness education. Despite there being so much info online, "you can take a horse to water etc", and some people just blame everyone and everything around them for THEIR lack of planning, lack of research, making poor decisions, etc.

I agree, advertisements and marketing only work for the "gullible" people, not everyone. Plenty of people manage to control themselves and avoid being sucked in. At the end of the day, it's still down to personal responsibility.

I think there are two separate things going on. First, prices have gone up - food is a recent one, but housing costs and bills have been going up for decades. And wages are not that high in the U.K.

On the other hand there seems to be a disconnect for some people between what they can afford and what they think they should be doing/spending on. I do thinks social media is fuelling this to an extent. So people on low or average incomes think it’s normal to spend £££ on a hens weekend, expensive cars, regular takeaways, etc.

Nonsense.

There are many people who are not sucked in by advertising for things they don't need.

Many people who aren't in debt. Not because they have plenty of money but because they don't buy things they don't need and can't afford just because someone else is advertising it.

Some people are literally poor due to their own bad decisions and choices. It is their 'fault'. Who else are you looking to blame?

OP obviously isn't talking about people that never had enough in the first place to be anything but poor. There are lots of people that spend their money in unbelievably irresponsible ways and then look for bail outs from everyone else.

It depends though, people talk about people on low incomes frittering money away etc but the amount they spend is something someone on a higher wage can spend without making a dent. They can never afford the things that people on higher wages might buy and still have the money to save/ make good choices. Also if you’re on a lower wage you can’t bulk buy or buy something that saves you money in the long term or you can only do that by using eg credit cards or hp

Yeah, have seen over the years friends say they have no money for bigger things like a new bed & mattress (while keep spending on lots of tat, ornaments, little things for the house) or another friend plead poverty about not being able to feed her cat - while buying a bottle of wine every night or a chip catflap while buying takeaways.

It's priorities. Sort them out then understand that cannot afford to buy everything. And yes, I learned the hard way, I was terrible when I was younger.

I think some in society have very little and really do struggle.
Some have got used to hearing about the ‘cost of living crisis’ and decided to join in, even if they are not really in a crisis. And go about saying they cannot afford this or that. And how it really is unfair and terrible. And how they should have this or that from the Government.
But manage to go on holiday always. And have nice things.

Yes..we seem to live now in a society that has little to no personal responsibility.

Hmmm.

A lot of things are advertised as "sensible, prudent choices" that I have deep suspicions about. Car finance, for example.

Impossible to answer, unless we are in possession of all the facts around everyone else's financial matters. If you're referring to a specific demographic, then say it! Otherwise, this is just a MN Goady post, looking to create division and sit in judgment.

Ps I’d love to add the people I know in real life who chastise people over spending choices spend their life thinking and analysing everything. It seems bloody exhausting. I remember hearing a financial planner on the radio and being surprised at how ‘well people have to enjoy life too’ he was- he then told the story of his dad dying an almost millionaire on a good income but not rich but how life was always about them being told no, how they lived frugally always as he showed them how much money was being accrued, to give them life lessons. He said yes they got money from inheritance but they’ll only ever remember him for the word ‘no’ and the life of borderline poverty they led.

My brother and I both have ADHD and irresponsible spending has been a big problem. I’ve been able to “scratch the itch” by having awareness (late in life diagnosis) but it still plagues him as he has limited earning ability and wants to treat himself to his fifth watch or guitar.