Work situation, AIBU?

[Twoweeksinaugust]

I can't decide if I am.

We are small team of 4. A few weeks ago a colleague went off sick, no idea why, none of my business. Since being off sick she's been to a festival with our manager, pics all over social media. She's now messaged in to book up the leave she saved whilst being off sick, with a cheery "I'll probably be back in a few weeks".

Part of me thinks it's none of my business and if she's got a sick note from her GP then she must be ill. The other part is raging that we're all working like dogs in this heat whilst she's off swanning around at bloody festivals.

Would this bother you?

No, it wouldn’t bother me. You have absolutely no idea what is going on in somebody else’s life. How you feel about it is irrelevant.

No because it's none of my business.

If your workload has increased be ause of the absense, then that's an issue for your employer and not your colleagues responsibility.

Unless there is backstory about your colleague’s and/or manager’s professionalism YABU.

don’t know what you mean by ‘leave she saved’: YABU if you mean she’s ‘saved’ and is now taking annual leave that she otherwise would have alreadt taken by being on sick leave . It’s typical holiday season to take annual leave.

YABU for the comment about her cheeriness in her message about returning. That just seems commonly used work cheery tone. she’s not obligated to seem meek or apologetic for being unwell.

YABU to blame her for your manager / organisation not sorting cover or work priorities to ensure OK working conditions for the team during her time off.

Many years ago I was off sick, after an operation where my recovery wasn’t going so well. My GP recommended that I had a holiday. There was no internet/social media so I don’t think anyone from work knew and I certainly didn’t brag about it. The holiday did me a world of good and I was back at work soon afterwards.

No it wouldn't bother me.

I haven't had a day off sick in over 7 years but if other people do, I consider it none of my business.

If I find I'm overloaded due to their absence, I take that up with my manager.

Yes, if someone who I was working with was off sick but then went to a festival and posted pics about it publicly then it would bother me, though I do find it strange that those pics included her manager.

How you feel about it is not irrelevant, especially as something like this might effect your motivation at work (so at the very least it should be relevant to your company).

My eyebrows would reach my hairline looking at the pics but I wouldn't say anything and would try and reserve judgement.

As you say, you have no idea why and none of your business. If you want time off then book time off.

Those saying it wouldn't bother them at all must have the patience of saints. You've said you are a small team of 4 so with 1 person unexpectedly off sick that will definitely have an impact. Seeing photos of the person off sick having fun at a festival in the lovely weather while you are under more stress at work must be hard.

However as you say you don't know why the person has been off sick and if they were with your manager then you know the manager is happy with the situation.

As to whether it would bother me then I think it would depend what kind of relationship I had with that person. If I liked them and they were a great colleague then it wouldn't. If I either didn't like them or they weren't a great colleague then I probably would feel a bit pissed off.

If the situation was putting strain on the remaining 3 in the team I would speak to the manager about needing extra help in the short-term.

What if you knew or heavily suspected that your colleague wasn't actually sick though (in general this is - I'm not saying that this is the case here for OP as we don't have nearly enough details)? Would it not bother you then?

I can see why you might feel miffed, but honestly, raging seems too strong. You're right to say it's none of your business and if she got a sick note from the GP she must be ill. People can be ill without looking visibly so or being unable to leave their homes, and going to a festival for a few days is a lot less taxing than work, so i don't think you can draw any conclusions from this. It also seems implausible that she would fake illness and then go away with your manager! As someone with an invisible disability I'm hoping that it's working through the recent heatwave (for which you have all my sympathies) which has gotten to you, and you're not usually someone to judge whether another person is "really ill".

Oh come on. Really?

While I was off for 6 months having and recovering from cancer treatment, I went on a holiday, brought my kids to activities, went out for coffees with my friends, didn't stay home all the time wrapped up and in bed.

I wasn't strong enough mentally or physically to work, but I was able to go out and do some fun, and not so fun things, then go home and crash with tiredness.

It wouldn’t bother me. I’m not sure why you find that statement so shocking.

Irrelevant here as you say 🤷‍♂️

If I actually knew for a fact they were feeding the manager a pack of lies then I'd tell them.

Although I can't imagine a situation where I actually would know for sure.

But that isn't what the thread is about.

these threads are all the same ( delete as appropriate - long term slackers AKA colleagues/ neighbours enormous planning applications inches from your kitchen window/ travellers camp/HMO at the bottom of your garden/ next doors kids playing basket ball ad infinitum - lots of sanctimonious posters claim it wouldn't possibly bother them (but of course, it would, if it actually happened to them)

You’re right, it’s none of your business so ignore it.

Many reasons why you can attend a festival and still be off sick.

Your manager is the one who should receive your wrath because its their responsibility to resource your team to cope with sickness.

Stop being an arse toward your colleague who has done nothing wrong.

she's obviously taking the piss but there's nothing you can do.

You can however have a serious discussion with your manager if her absence is impacting your workload or your work full stop, because that shouldn't happen and they need to put something in place to replace her.

Yes it would annoy the hell out of me! I had a colleague off sick once and I was working 10 hour days to cover her and spending my whole weekends knackered and she was living it up on holidays and clubbing and it was all over Facebook!!

Either your workload is affected or it's not. If it is speak to management about needing more staff or more money to cover. What people do outside of work is none of your concern.

You'd presumably have the same workload issues whether she attended a festival for two days or she was lying in bed violently sick for those same two days?

What would bother me is the festival going with your manager. Who I assume is her manager too.

I can see why this is annoying but you never know what is actually going on. My fella once had a huge issue with chest pains, he lost stones as the pain stopped him eating, and was really struggling.

As a result he took some time off uni. He also tried his best to keep some quality to his life, and when he felt well enough, we'd go to the pub or for a meal etc.

One of his tutors was a friend of a friend with whom he had fallen out. Passive-aggressive remarks started on facebook about how he had been 'seen' out on the town when he was supposedly sick.

I suppose it looked to them like he must be fine if he was doing anything normal- but they were totally wrong. Never mind the unprofessional gossiping between his tutor and his ex-friend.

People saying it wouldn't bother them - seriously? You wouldn't be even slightly annoyed that someone was off "sick" and partying at festivals?

Comments like this are so strange.

I was once off sick because my DM died. I couldn’t work as I was bursting into tears at least once an hour. My friends dragged me away for the weekend because I was slowly retreating into myself. If you look at the photos from that time you might well conclude that I look really happy and relaxed. In reality I was struggling to get through the day.