To wonder why this is 'common'?

[Ellbee83]

I live in an end-terrace house, with a small front yard/garden which I've made as nice as I can with plants, garden furniture, a few fairy lights.
It's south-facing so for (literally!) a few months of the year when the weather allows, if I'm at home and not busy, it's lovely to sit out in the morning with a coffee, or in the evening with a book & glass of wine.
It's genuinely one of my simple pleasures, it's nice to watch the world go by, smile at passers-by, idly chat with the neighbours if they're around but mostly 100% minding my own business and enjoying my own outdoor space.

Yesterday evening, my neighbour (72f) from 3 doors down went past, walking her dogs. She stopped to chat as we often do - the weather, how the flowers are doing, that sort of thing, nothing major! She then went on to tell me how she wouldn't dream of sitting out in her front garden as she'd been taught it was 'common'. I laughed in surprise and said 'Oh, am I being common?' to which she laughingly agreed I was!

Now, tbh, I found it waaaay more common that she'd be so rude but I'm curious - is sitting out in the sun, in your own front garden seen as 'common'?
Not too bothered either way and I'll carry on doing it but I've restricted myself to the back garden today 🫤

Interested to hear opinions!

I’ve always heard it’s common however I couldn’t give less of a crap, I’d happy sit in my front garden as it gets sun in the morning

I think it’s not usual to sit in the front garden as it’s not as private, but imo only ‘common’ if you are sitting on the doorstep in a grey vest with a beer belly, fag in your mouth and a can of 4X at 9.30 in the morning.

Traditionally, yes. Front gardens are to be seen and not used. Back gardens are for using. It’s a privacy thing, I think.

This is done in both my mum and sister's streets.. they have small back yards that are north facing with high walls and never ever get the sun. Like you they have made it nice int rh little front garden with flowers in pots/a little bench etc.

I imagine it's seen as common to those who can afford to have a large sunny back garden. But you are absolutely right to make the most out of the space you have... Just enjoy it and take no notice.

I think people sitting out the front is lovely.

I don’t think she was being rude (not there to hear tone, obviously). She was commenting on how her upbringing still affects what she chooses to do, even though times have changed, and then she laughingly agreed when she thought you were being lighthearted and ‘playing along’. If she really thought you were ‘common’ or that it mattered in any way, she’d not have stopped to talk to you.

We were never allowed to play out the front of the house because my Mum believed it was common! So I guess your neighbour is right!

It’s a hang over from the past when if you were rich you had a large house and back garden to sit out and entertain in whereas if you were poor you only had a yard and would sit out the front to chat to neighbours.
Obviously these days it’s a load of rubbish.

I think as long as you’re not sat on a sofa in a string vest you’re fine

your neighbour is a rude woman

I guess because wealthier people would have private gardens ?

However, we live in a little street of 10 houses with huge big back gardens and also front lawns and a few of our neighbours put benches out during COVID and they've kept them there since and occasionally sit out still and it's made the street feel so much more friendly

I think it goes back to the days when folk sat on their front door step having a fag.
What you describe sounds lovely

My Mum always said it was “common” but I don’t think someone having a cup of coffee and reading falls into that category tbh. I have seen one family sitting out in a sofa they’d pulled into the street and setting up a paddling pool, I’m torn on that one. On one hand yes, it’s not great especially as people had to walk round them on the pavement but also, they had no back garden and the kids loved it, they weren’t really harming anyone and there was a pavement in the other side. Not what I’d do, but those kids would remember the fun they had.

Yes, I was told it was common, along with eating and smoking in the street and men walking around with no tops on. However that was more sitting on the front street when you didn't have a garden and using either dining chairs or a sofa you had dragged out.

The only people I ever see sat out the front are smoking. Most people use their back gardens for reading/relaxing etc but its your house do what you want

We don’t know that OP isn’t sitting on the front step in a string vest smoking a fag.
Legs akimbo.

I’m not sure - it’s one of those random things like eating in the street 🤣

At the end of the day, you aren’t harming (or affecting) anyone else - you go for it

I laughed in surprise and said 'Oh, am I being common?' to which she laughingly agreed I was!

Well, she wasn't being horrible to you. God knows why you've taken this to heart.

I'm her age. When we were young, class markers were a massive thing to the generation before us - and even bigger for their own parents' generation.

So we, like our parents, bumbled through life making our own choices but always with the background noise of all the things deemed 'common' or 'bourgeois' (another social sin).

Eating on the go? Common. I do it, but plenty of my contemporaries still can't bring themselves to.
Mentioning the toilet? Most of us do this now; our mothers battled against "powdering their noses" as needing the loo was common.
Getting drunk? Eeeuuww, common! Of course, we all did it without shame.
Pleather. You can call it vegan leather, I can see it's often beautiful, but I haven't got over thinking of it as 'common'.

There's a mountain of this stuff. She was just telling you, in good humour, she feels inhibited by the old-fashioned judgement of sitting outside your house as 'common'. You should've invited her to join you 🙂

I was told it was common but I can see 2 houses across the road where the garage doors are open and the men are doing stuff in them and I don’t think that they look common at all so I have no clue why. I have just come in from my front garden having done a couple hours of gardening - maybe I’m common too?

I’ve never heard that. I think of it as quite American as we used to sit on our porch steps with a drink when we lived in our first apartment in Chicago and had no proper outside space, lots of our neighbours also did the same. In London I’m not tempted as the front of our house faces East and our back patio is a little sun trap.

She was joking! It was probably common once. Our kindest and most entertaining neighbours do it all summer drinking Fosters and chatting to passers by.

Lots of people who live in my village sit out the front. Gives them a chance to have a chat with neighbours walking by, it’s really nice .

I love seeing people sat out front, watching the world go by, chatting to their neighbours. Got a lovely community feel to it.

You should buy your neighbour a Nicky Haslam tea towel (if you are rich). He issues them regularly but I am not sure he’s ever named sitting in a front garden as common. Much more likely to list “telling people they’re common” as common. https://nickyhaslamstudio.com/shop/ols/products/the-new-nicky-haslam-tea-towel-2024

there are lots of things people used to think of as 'common' that are now very normal - eating and drinking in the street, for example.

I agree with you - telling someone else they are common is a bigger indicator of lack of class than the original behaviour!

I’ve never really thought about it but yes, my grandmother saw it as something ‘not done’ except by certain people. Those who sometimes have a mattress or couch outside.

Honestly who cares though