AIBU to not pay for something my kid supposedly damaged?

[PopandFizz]

I have a disabled son, hes a small 8 year old with autism and learning disabilities. Cognitive age is around 2 but he doesnt talk. We rented out a sensory room on weds, private rental. They take a £75 bond but the actual hourly hire is £20, we had 90 mins so I paid £30 + the bond.

We had a great time, my son is stimulated by movement and interaction so he was more interested in things he could effect. They had a lot of button triggered features that he really liked plus a glowing ball pool. As such he didnt play with one of the bigger light tube features, but I do know it worked as I turned it on initially, its on a timer (I assumed?!) So we didnt switch it back on again. It is in like a soft play surround but my son wasnt interested, didnt jump on it or similar - though if he had the soft play would suggest that it supports that. I must state he is watched 100% of the time, he has to be. I dont go on my phone and let him run about jumping/climbing etc. I have to be proactive as he is a danger to himself. He did not interact with it.

We were the last session of the day and the owner messaged me that evening to say that this tube has broken and it's going to cost £150 to fix. They were very nice about it but.. how can it be?!

I dont really know what to do. Ive replied explaining im very confused about this because of the reasons above and have asked for a photo which they said they dont have and tube is now in a skip.

So thoughts please
YABU - It must be your son so you should pay, who else could it have been?
YANBU - You shouldn't pay that much when your son didnt go near it, its a business expense.

They are a big name in our local send community but this is my first interaction wirh them. On one hand I think well they are clearly trusted locally and not pulling a fast one but on the other I think who doesnt take a photo of this type of thing.

Then it might be a case of that she has to go furthur a field or more likely won't be able to use a sensory room if there isn't another available.
My son only had the one experience but no worse off for never going again.
Every situation is different, I feel for the OP it is difficult with the problems that can arise with ND kids. My t shirt is totally worn out now.😐

"Pic or didn't happen."

Stand your ground.

You know your child didn’t damage the item so they need to prove different.

This sounds more like wear and tear and clearly a business will budget for that. I’d be more concerned that the item wasn’t fit for purpose.

Try not to panic about her being ‘big’ in SEND. She’s not necessarily an angel and may still be trying to make money out of stressed parents.

If she kicks up a fuss, then go to your local newspaper and tell your side of the story, I can’t see her wanting negative publicity. £30 is already a decent amount for use of the sensory room.

There are limited options but I wouldnt go back to this sensory room now as I would feel like they cant do anything for fear of breaking it.

Im more concerned with the wider community events and stuff. I dont want to have 'an issue' with her. As someone has said, I will likely have to forego the deposit without accepting liability. I dont think taking her to small claims will put me in favour locally.

Its a very isolating life being a parent to a kid with high care needs and I have been trying to sort so we can go to more of these places/groups.

Husband is going out now so I'll be off my phone but will update you all with her response later!

This thread reminds me of another one where a woman with her children in the swimming pool changing rooms were blamed for breaking a shower screen door even though they did not touch it or go near it. I don't know if she had any comeback but there was overwhelming evidence on google saying that glass shower doors can shatter spontaneously.
Stick to what you know happened, and do not offer any money.

I'd tell them that this particular thing was already not working when you got there and that you aren't liable

Can see the concern about her bad mouthing you locally but if she does do that to you she's breaking the law.
Don't fear her backlash. She's in the wrong and you need to stand your ground. She has more to loose than you longer term.

Why would they have equipment which young children use, that is easily breakable? Was it something that could injure a child? Does it comply with health and safety rules?
I would tell them politely to get stuffed and claim on their insurance

I don't understand why you would have something vulnerable like a light fitting in a sensory room which, by definition, is going to be used by very disabled children who may well run and flail about, grab, pull, push and squeeze things - unless you ensure it is really securely protected so they can't damage it. So it does seem to be down to the owners.

If you have a business like this then you accept that things are going to get damaged- I can imagine lots of kids have used that room so it'll be down to wear and tear. I'm a childminder and if a toy gets broken in my setting, it just gets binned. I never ask parents to pay for it!

If you know for certain it wasn’t you, then obviously don’t pay.

CCTV in the changing room showed that it just exploded with no-one near it thank goodness

I can't believe they didn't check to see if the bulb had gone 😕

I would just reply explaining that it was working when you switched it on, it went off by itself and you didn't touch or interact with it otherwise as your son was more interested in the other toys.

These things (lights/glowy things) do just stop working, the bulbs usually aren't changeable so the do have a limited lifespan. It's likely that it just burnt out.

Don't let her bully you OP. I know how it can feel if you ate conflict avoidance (like me) but please try to stand your ground.

From what you've shared, this is just not tight and she's simply trying to pin it on you as you were the last customer. If she posted about you on social media, I would respond with screenshot of your written interactions and double down that you didn't use it. Be polite but ask for proof, publicly. She doesn't seem to have any.

She's a small business so it would be quite silly of her to make a public spat. There's also the fact that it could scare other parents of children with SEND from taking their children there incase they're accused of breaking something.

Maybe say you appreciate that the item is not working but you did not use it, maintenance is always difficult but sometimes there is wear and tear on items not damage. Good luck

Most people seem to be missing that they already have the money. It’s not a simple as just don’t pay.

Yeah, they already have £75 of my money.

No reply today but maybe shes not doing office stuff on weekend

Yep explain that your son didn't play with the item and you watched him like a hawk so consider this an unreasonable request

Wear and tear from multiple kids is most likely what’s happened and neither of you can prove that but the owner should be taking accountability for this!!

Request your £75 back and point out her item stopping working had nothing to do with your family w as she’s thrown it away already she clearly knew this too as why else would she not have proof that it was damaged? She’s trying it on and I’d take her to small claims court to get my £75 back plus costs if she refuses to refund you!

Just because they noticed the damage after your DS was there does not mean he was the one who caused it. Do they thoroughly inspect all items between each user? I doubt it—they more likely look carefully at the end of the day. It also* *sounds sketchy that they threw it away. Don't most things eventually fall apart after extensive use? That's just normal wear and tear.

So have they asked you to pay for it and what about the deposit?

Similar happened to us with an air b&b stay. We checked out and got a notification on the app that the owner wanted us to pay £30 for some bowls we'd "taken" (accusing us of stealing) when the flat didn't have any bowls when we checked in and I'd got our plastic picnic bowls out of the car to use for the week.

I can understand your concern about being ostracised by the rest of the SEN community. However in my experience the opposite often happens. We had a similar experience at a dog training centre a few years ago. Our dogs were accused of doing damage to a piece of equipment we didn’t use and was in an entirely different section to the one we had used. I was particularly worried about loosing the support of a group of friends I had built within the reactive dog world. But in the end it turned out that a significant number of others had also at varying times been accused of causing damage too. Some had coughed up. Some had ignored it. In the end far from its being the ones who were ostracised it was the owner of the centre who was.

So don’t automatically assume that people will turn against you. You may find this woman has form for this