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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel uneasy about a segregated by sex youth club?

57 replies

Scottishmamaagain · 29/05/2026 20:30

A local community group which is primarily ran by members of the Muslim community but is open to everyone and benefits the whole community has started a a weekly Youth Club for teens. Great I thought there isn’t enough stuff for teenagers etc. I have just seen a post promoting it on a community area page on Facebook, and it’s segregated into a boys group and a girls group at different times, with different activities. For the first week the boys is football followed by World Cup fantasy stuff, whereas the girls is a reading group. It just makes me cringe a bit a feel uncomfortable, is such classic stereotypes, there’s loads of girls into football around here and I assume lots of boys who also read. I don’t understand why it needs to segregated into the first place.

Don’t want to drip feed, but this group has had quite a hard time lately from the local stop the boats brigade, but I’ve always stood up for them on comments on social media. They have kept a local community centre open and events they have helped organised have benefited our struggling town centre. But something about this segregated youth group makes me feel uncomfortable.

AIBU - it’s just a youth group, no one has to go and it doesn’t make a difference if it’s segregated
AINBU - there is no need to segregate this and it’s wrong to fall into stereotypes

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 30/05/2026 01:18

I think there’s something really valuable about single-sex spaces for teens, both boys and girls. It’s a couple of hours a week. They have plenty of other times to mix. If your kids don’t like it, don’t send them, but for some, it might be the most important time in their week.

LizandDerekGoals · 30/05/2026 01:26

I completely support single sex spaces. But those activities suck.

ARingtoit · 30/05/2026 07:03

Maybe volunteer your own time and set up a mixed activity that aligns with your values if you think that would be beneficial to the children. These volunteers are supporting the community and dealing with prejudice from hateful people. Do they owe you something because you wrote comments on social media?

ChalkOutlines · 30/05/2026 07:24

Scottishmamaagain · 30/05/2026 00:05

To make it clear there are already a few single sex youth groups up here for teens, guides and girls brigade for girls and boys brigade for boys. Like Scouts and cadet forces I think a lot of the teens still involved in these sorts of groups into their teen years are the ones who are into their extra curricular activities etc and aren’t the ones I was thinking a casual youth club might try to target. I grew up in a different area but youth clubs were meant to get kids off the streets, they weren’t generally targeting the kids already heavily involved in clubs/sports.

As for the boys football, I think the idea of this is a casual kick about, there’s quite a few serious clubs in the area which a lot of kids get put off by, so think this is a good idea just to kids out moving, I don’t think there will be a lot of serious coaching going on etc so don’t see why it couldn’t have been extended to girls. I also think the rounders idea on here would be perfect. Maybe it would have been a better idea for them to put on a sporty session and a non sporty session, even then I still think a reading group is a bit pants.

It’s great to have better ideas on someone else’s time, money , resources and efforts , isn’t it?

5128gap · 30/05/2026 07:47

Scottishmamaagain · 30/05/2026 00:05

To make it clear there are already a few single sex youth groups up here for teens, guides and girls brigade for girls and boys brigade for boys. Like Scouts and cadet forces I think a lot of the teens still involved in these sorts of groups into their teen years are the ones who are into their extra curricular activities etc and aren’t the ones I was thinking a casual youth club might try to target. I grew up in a different area but youth clubs were meant to get kids off the streets, they weren’t generally targeting the kids already heavily involved in clubs/sports.

As for the boys football, I think the idea of this is a casual kick about, there’s quite a few serious clubs in the area which a lot of kids get put off by, so think this is a good idea just to kids out moving, I don’t think there will be a lot of serious coaching going on etc so don’t see why it couldn’t have been extended to girls. I also think the rounders idea on here would be perfect. Maybe it would have been a better idea for them to put on a sporty session and a non sporty session, even then I still think a reading group is a bit pants.

I genuinely don't understand the difference you are trying to draw between established single sex groups like guides (ok) and these new single sex groups (not ok)
Why is it OK for groups you believe are attended by children privileged enough to do a lot of activities to have the benefit of a single sex offer, but children who don't must have a unisex offer?
Why is it OK for old established organisations to decide to seperate on the basis of sex but not for a new one?
Or shall we just speak plainly, and you tell us why separating the sexes in traditional British institutions, from public schools, to sport to the WI is something to be valued and defended, but when the people doing it are Muslim it concerns you?

tripleginandtonic · 30/05/2026 07:51

Potooooooooes · 29/05/2026 20:44

Teenage girls playing football with teenage boys is a bad idea as the strength disparity is dangerous. This is why they are split after primary age (can't recall the exact age)

You could ask if the girls could have football as an option?

This. And books should be encouraged for boys too.

Cheese55 · 30/05/2026 08:13

5128gap · 29/05/2026 20:56

Why do women have women only book groups? Why can't boys join guides? Why can't men join the WI? Or women go to men's sheds? Sometimes groups are set up to be single sex. A lot of people think this is a good thing.

Edited
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I think the OP is uncomfortable is because they might be separated due boys and girls being segregated so the girls remain 'pure'.

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