One sided ‘friendship’

[Kat19852222]

Need advise regarding a longterm friendship
Met this friend in 2010 when I started at university got very close almost like sisters we were in separable for the whole 3 years of university met up at weekends etc, she had to defer her last year for to being in hospital but I kept in touch made sure I saw her every week.
Fast forward a few years both had jobs working 12 hour shift pattern nights and days, I got pregnant winter of 2016 with my son who was born in the summer of 2017 still in touch I asked her to be my sons godmother. Still in touch over next few years but not as much as we use to, when I’d try to arrange something when often I’d have to bring my son (due to having no one else to look after him) she’d either go quiet or not respond. Contact slowly drained off but still saw each other about once a month.
Fast forward 2026 and we barely see each other anymore I’m always suggested to meet up but she’s too busy seeing other friends or going gym. I messaged her last week asking to meet as my son kept asking too see her but got usual excuses, I said I thought she could make more of an effort as she was going gym every day so could miss one session due to her godson wanting to see her, got no I’m busy I’m sorry ended the message with a full stop like she was trying to end the conversation…. Not responded but pretty pissed off when iv checked her instagram and seen she’s still at gym most days and is seeing other friends so the im busy with work excuse doesn’t fly…
Am I fair in thinking just stop all communication? As it seems very one sided to me

I'm not sure pp's are implying that you should find alternative childcare, simply pointing out that always meeting up with your child might not be rewarding for her. Or she might find it difficult or painful. I've been in her shoes and tbh it got more difficult and painful as I got older and it became less likely that I would have my own kids.

I get that it's painful for you if she doesn't make any time to see you, however she does need to focus on her own life too, especially if she's trying to rebuild her life after being sectioned.

If you want to give up on the friendship, that's your prerogative, but if you want it to continue I think you need to blame her less and try to understand her more.

You are obviously struggling and I’m really sorry you are experiencing that but you have incredibly fixed ideas about what she should do in your life to fulfil your needs.

I have friends I have had for a lifetime and as life has changed these friendships have adapted. If you don’t accept that you are probably right that the friendship needs to end.

I would feel very pressurised by you the way you are pushing the friendship if I were in your friend’s shoes. Especially given her mental health she might actually need to take a step back from trying to meet your expectations.

You were uni friends that’s a bit difference to what you’re offering now. It sounds like you only want to meet her with your children in tow.

Im confused that you’ve said you have to bring your kids along as you have no one to have them yet you go on to say you have a partner. Which one is it?

Maybe try making an effort to make plans that don’t involve your children. There’s nothing worse than trying to catch up with a friend and having children there everytime.

Your reading comprehension is pretty poor. She is not obligated to meet up with you, just because you have limited options for childcare. You speak about your friend as though she is not an adult with agency to decide who she spends time with. You seem to see the world in black and white and have dealt with this situation by jumping to conclusions about her personal circumstances and have attempted to emotionally blackmail her, using your son as a weapon to try and coerce her into meeting you.

It sounds like she has had years of meeting up with you under sufferance, having to begrudgingly endure spending her free time with your child and she has now had enough. Why are you trying to flog a dead horse and why would you want to meet with someone who would only be spending time with you out of obligation? Asking someone to be godparent isn't a lifetime summons.