AIBU to feel let down by an unfulfilled babysitting offer?

[RoseHiker]

I went on holidays recently with my family (15 month old and 14 year old).

My parents and sis also booked in.

My mother mentioned to my sister she wanted to mind the baby while me and my partner went for dinner one evening as we rarely get out together.

She offered to take my baby an evening my partner took our son to theme park.

I said the following evening would work for us but it never happenend and I am feeling a bit let down and upset. I did hint the next day it would nice to get some time together.

To be clear we did not bring parents to babysit. We booked on at later stage. I wouldnt have expected anything if it was not initially offered.

What is more annoying is everyone keeps saying oh you must had lots of babysitting while you were away. Tbh not really. I think thats why its still on my mind.

Why offer and not do it :(

Why did you hint and not ask?

Maybe you shouldn't have given her a "hint", could've just asked directly if it is possible to babysit.

Why did you hint instead of saying is that babysitting offer still on for tonight, mum?

Why didn’t you just ask? Your mum already made the offer, your husband went out for that night so it was then on you to sort out asking her the next time.

I am the type of person that doesn't like to ask. I wait for the offer :(

But the offer had already been made. You would just have been asking whether you could redeem it.

She offered to take the baby.
You said not that night. You should have been explicit about what you did want to happen.

You've learnt you'll wait forever so learn to speak up.

You do know you're allowed to ask people things?

She might of changed her mind? I’d just forget it tbh. There little for such a short time, just enjoy it.

I did. I said tomorrow night instead

And when you said that, what was her reply?

@Pippa12 thanks. It only playing on my mind because people asked me today about babysitters

@Pippa12 thanks. It only playing on my mind because people asked me today about babysitters

And honestly it doesn’t sound from your posts like she actually spoke to you and made a firm offer of babysitting. It sounds as though she hinted that she was open to the idea, said she “could” babysit and mentioned it to your sister, but hat she stopped short of actually saying to you “I will babysit at this time”.
I don’t think you can reasonably be miffed because something you didn’t ask for, and that wasn’t explicitly offered to you, didn’t happen. There’s a lot of pussyfooting around in your family.

This
I can't have hinters
I need direct communication

They're your parents! You should have just asked them directly 🤷‍♀️

Hinters are the WORST.

Just ask.

You turned down her offer and then didn’t ask for another day, just said another night. You probably made it sound like you didn’t want her to babysit. Why didn’t you say please could you do it tomorrow?

All you had to say is are you still OK to have the kids tonight.

OP I am going to say to you what I said to my kids when smaller: Use your words. People do not take hints. Even if people know you are hinting they may ignore it just because hinting is annoying. Say what you mean, ask the question. USE YOUR WORDS.

There’s too much saying things to sisters and using phrases like ‘would work for us’. Just say what you want and what you mean, especially to your own mother.

Geoff and I want to go out for dinner without the children so can you look after them on Wednesday?

Presumably you and your husband actually had less time together than planned as your mother and sister both came on your family holiday. I’d watch out for that if I were you. Make sure you prioritise yourself and your husband and children as a unit.

Well, there’s your issue. If you didn’t say, your mother will have forgotten all about it, or thought you weren’t keen on going out alone.

I often deliberately ignore hints as they annoy me so much. Just ask if you need or want help!

But you have a 14 year old? Can’t she/he babysit?

We had this on a holiday recently. Once in a lifetime thing which we initially planned as our honeymoon, but then two babies later, kept postponing and then turned into a family holiday. It was a destination my mum had always wanted to go to as well, so invited herself along. We didn’t expect any babysitting at all, but asked if she’d watch the kids one night when they were in bed whilst we went out for my husbands birthday. A 2hr dinner. She countered and said she’d watch them whilst we had breakfast alone in our room and she’d have them in her room whilst we ate. Prior to the holiday she’d offered to have them for a few evenings during the 14 day holiday, but then didn’t want to. “It’s my holiday too”

YANBU - it’s disappointing when you’re let down.