To think if you want a well presented man in his late 40s/50s....

[Lightslit]

You probably need to find a way to accomodate the running/cycling/gym/team sport habit in his 30s and early 40s?

It seems to me that in their 30s and early 40s most men can more or less get away with being a bit active, but by their late 40s, there's an enormous gulf between fit and active men and those who haven't done much exercise or been a part of something active. Both in terms of how they look and the way they live, their general outlook and attitude towards life.

The same probably applies to women, but MN doesn't take issue with our attempts to stay fit (and social) in the same way.

MN doesn't take issue with our attempts to stay fit (and social) in the same way Maybe because most women exercise by waking up earlier / at lunchtime / after the kids are in bed. Basically they do it instead of their own downtime, whereas men often will schedule their hobby / workout at times when the alternative is childcare / family time.

Men seem to be more prone to extremes, so you get a lot who are super fit and obsessed with their sport hobby to the point that it becomes their whole personality, then you get the men who take slobbiness to the extreme.

The women I know tend to be more balanced and somewhere between the two.

Cycling wouldn’t be enough. And ‘mostly look absolutely fine’, no thanks. I want my partner to look good and have a good attitude to his health which includes eating well and exercising.

Because when men want healthy and physically attractive wives who still enjoy sex as they age, they make sure she has enough time for exercise and hobbies… oh no, silly me. They trade in for a younger model.

I'm convinced many men take up these hobbies purely to avoid time with their children.

Works both ways - as long as I have the same amount of time and money to myself it’s all good.

DH works with a couple of men who are quite open about that. Twats.

I think so, they want the "family" but don't want to actually participate with the family because they have a cycle/golf/run at the weekend! They also organise holidays etc and act like they are doing their wife.and children a favour, honestly would hate to.have a husband like this,

You don’t need to spend hours accommodating his hobbies for him to keep trim.

Gardening, housework and DIY are good resistance training no need for the gym as much. Actively playing with his children if he has them.
He could swim whilst they are in lessons or go for a jog whilst they are at football training.

Many ways to fit in enough fitness during just life to keep in trim.

Going for a cycle then coming home and saying they are too tired to lift a finger? Fuck that would rather he had a bit of dad bod the next decade than let him totally check out of family life (because that is what would happen)

Going by what I see there isn’t a huge issue with swathes of women preventing their DH/DP going on runs or playing a game of 5-a-side. The threads on here are generally where the hobby takes up hours and hours (sometimes including a late night and hungover Sunday).

id say the issue is way more prominent the other way around, many many women (myself included) can’t get to the gym, yoga etc, don’t have much time or money to spend on their personal appearance. Hence the “divorce glow up” effect for women.

Yes quite.
Fathers and mothers should both adjust their hobbies and lifestyles as necessary to accommodate caring for their kids and home.
Cycle with a child trailer (on appropriate paths) and do a shorter racing bike ride. Hillwalk with a toddler in a backpack. When they’re old enough find other sports you can do as a family - watersports are good, if you’re near somewhere suitable.

Enough for what? I’m not sure what your point is?

To think if you want a well presented man in his late 40s/50s...
you probably need to be in your 20s/30s.
But don't expect him to help out in any way if you have children.

Personally I like a bit of a dad bod and a slim cyclist would be a massive turn off for me.
There are plenty of ways to stay healthy that don’t amount to an obsession. If they’re decent and respectful, you can each prioritise health, hobbies and time together. However those men are in short supply. So it’s sometimes easier and far less stressful to stay single…..