to expect a thank you for a wedding gift

[Havingasmashingtime]

I went to a wedding on Friday, in the wedding “letter box” I posted a nice card with a £100 voucher for a really fancy restaurant.

its now Monday and she hasn’t acknowledged it- and it’s actually annoyed me a bit.

AIBU?

some facts to note:

• they got married last month so this was just their belated wedding ‘doo’
• there were 40 people there of which 20 were friends - mostly couples so let’s say 10 potential gifts (I.e not loads to open as most would have given the gifts on the actual wedding day)
• she’s been in contact since where we chatted about feeling tired the next day and how someone lost a shoe (so therefore not too busy to text)

so why no acknowledgment of the gift?

I’m not feeling precious or anything but I know I personally would always text anyone to say a huge thank you for being kind- whether I liked the gift or not.

so AIBU to feel a bit -meh- that she’s said nothing at all?
happy to be told I’m a weirdo.

I would give it a few more days, it's just been a beautiful bank holiday weekend and no doubt she's got a fair few people to thank, not just you.

They can take months now as they often send a photo from the day.

Ok true

I guess I have the underlying worry like- what if somehow she didn’t get it and is wondering why I got her nothing. So if she were to do a quick thanks text at least it’s acknowledged

Wedding thank yous usually come much later if they are doing a formal thank you card. Often they send pictures too, so I wouldn’t necessarily expect anything straight away

They might not have even opened them yet. Sometimes a family member is the one who collects them from the venue. I wouldn’t expect a thank you this soon after a wedding.

I doubt they have even opened the wedding letterbox yet.

They got married friday.
it id bsnk holiday monday.
thank you cards cannot possibly have arrived by now.

you are being ridiculous

A voucher. Wow!

Wedding thank you notes usually come weeks (even months) after the date. It would be unusual to receive anything with days of the event.

@LizandDerekGoals
what do you mean “arrived”
they are not being delivered by a 3rd party? She took them home with her from the venue?

@MesonBoson
when you say “a voucher? Wow?” What do you mean? What would you have bought? It’s for a really nice restaurant in the Lake District so will be a special night out for them. It wasn’t a £10 new look voucher

I think it’s too soon to expect a thank you letter/card and as pp mentioned they may want to organise a photo card/thank you.

Thank you cards would not have arrived to you from the couple yet even if they did send them the day after they got married.

Jesus christ, its a bank holiday weekend and the do was 3 days ago. Give them a chance!!

Most weddings thank yous come about a month at the earliest after the wedding.

Ah ok so the general consensus is that folk send physical thank you cards through the post?
hmm I don’t actually think she knows my address. We do everything by text which is why I had just expected a:
”thanks so much for coming and for the card & present!”

Did she not thank you for coning on the night?

Wedding etiquette is to send thank yous to guests within 3 months. If the couple are having wedding photo thank you cards printed then this can take weeks, so be patient. Also, life happens which you may not be aware of:

my aunt text me 2 weeks after my wedding and all it said was “where is my thank you card?” Our thank you cards were sent out 6 weeks after my wedding because: we were on honeymoon for a week; the thank you cards had to be printed which took a couple of weeks. In addition to that after our honeymoon I fell down the stairs at home and injured my arm and shoulder and was in immense pain for weeks; I had our 1-year-old toddler to care for which is obviously time-consuming, and to top it off during our honeymoon I discovered I was pregnant and then started to miscarry the following day (which then lasted 5 weeks).

So, what I’m trying to say is be patient because you don’t necessarily have any idea what is going on in people’s lives after their wedding!

Sounds like a lovely generous gift but please give them a chance to draw breath after the wedding! Even if they have already opened the gift, they will be doing all their thank-yous in one big batch. I’d wait a couple of weeks.

YANBU to expect a thank you, but as people have already said, it's bit early. I sent my thank you notes a week after getting back from honeymoon - so about three weeks after the actual wedding.

I would say the majority of people still do this and normally up to a month or two after the wedding. I've only ever been to a wedding once (out of about 20) and received a text thank you. It's not the norm.

I sent 2 weddings gifts last autumn and never received a thank you from either couple.
I know they got them as one was delivered by a relative attending the wedding and the other was given to the grooms parents to give to the couple.
Both couples in their 20s so I don’t know if it’s a generational thing. It’s at least a decade since I’ve had anyone close getting married and I’ve always received a thank you card/email/text before now

Patience!

Too early to get the arse

I would expect a formal thank you will follow in time. However we have been to a couple of weddings recently- one couple we gave £100 and we never received a thank you card, text or even acknowledgment. I even went shopping with the bride who was spending the wedding present money on new bedding and still no thank you! I have noticed the same with children’s parties, no thank yous afterwards for gifts xx

Most people send physical cards, usually with a picture from the day on the front. So I would guess they are waiting for the professional photos then need to get cards printed and posted out - it can take a while! Presumably they are now off on honeymoon somewhere?