to expect a thank you for a wedding gift

[Havingasmashingtime]

I went to a wedding on Friday, in the wedding “letter box” I posted a nice card with a £100 voucher for a really fancy restaurant.

its now Monday and she hasn’t acknowledged it- and it’s actually annoyed me a bit.

AIBU?

some facts to note:

• they got married last month so this was just their belated wedding ‘doo’
• there were 40 people there of which 20 were friends - mostly couples so let’s say 10 potential gifts (I.e not loads to open as most would have given the gifts on the actual wedding day)
• she’s been in contact since where we chatted about feeling tired the next day and how someone lost a shoe (so therefore not too busy to text)

so why no acknowledgment of the gift?

I’m not feeling precious or anything but I know I personally would always text anyone to say a huge thank you for being kind- whether I liked the gift or not.

so AIBU to feel a bit -meh- that she’s said nothing at all?
happy to be told I’m a weirdo.

I’m still waiting some ten years later !

Ask her about it so you can confirm she received it.

Etiquette rules are they have 1 year after the wedding to send a thank you. Lord, they only got married on Friday! Dh and I had hardly even looked at any cards we got by then. I was still waving goodbye to family who had travelled from around the world to see us and we had stuff to return and a honeymoon to pack for. We had actual physical gifts that didn’t stop arriving until about 8 weeks after the wedding. I did all the thank yous at once after we were done receiving gifts and we’d been on honeymoon and I’d had five seconds to bloody sit down and breathe! 😂

Friday was very recent!

She may be planning to write letters of thanks to all the guests who gave presents.

After a month you can text and ask if she got it. It’s too soon.

I can imagine after months of wedding planning and prep and then the big day itself, they are giving themselves the long weekend off wedding stuff! If it were a few months ago you’d have a point.

I'm still hoping that my cleaner safely received the Christmas cash I put in his card back in December! Kind of niggles that I don't know. I expect he just forgot to say thank you and that your friend will eventually get round to it, but I agree - meh!

Incredibly unreasonable of you. These days, couples tend to send formal thank yous via a card - usually containing a picture of them from their wedding. Their photographer may not provide the images for a few weeks. You should give a good month. If it was immediate family or a very best friend, I’d expect a text a few days after the wedding once cards have been opened.

Yanbu re a thank you but yabu are the timing. The wedding was Friday...it's only Monday...it took us 2 weeks to get all the thank yous sent.

Last two weddings we've been to there have been no thanks forthcoming for presents - I do think it's really rude.

I think as you gave such a lovely generous gift, and she has text about other things, it would not be unreasonable to expect an acknowledgment/thank you in that text exchange. The all singing, all dancing, printed personalised musical thank you card can come later (or not as the case may be). It doesn’t have to be one or the other does it?

I’ve always felt like this but I’ve learned that people now tend to do formal thank you cards often with photos and so this is delayed. So I no longer expect an immediate message with a thank you

The vote will be mixed, as

YANBU to expect a thank you for a wedding present.

BUT

YABVVVVU to have expected it 3 days later.

So that's £50 each for a restaurant - I doubt a bottle of wine would be less than £30 so that leaves £35 each for food.

That won't go far at L'Enclume, Rogan or The Old Stamp House!

A generous gift, yes, but hardly a really special night out

Could you be any more snooty?

wow, really just wow. What a snobby and snooty comment to make.

OP, it’s been 3 days. Give them a chance. They could be away on honeymoon already or just recovering at home.

Totally unrealistic expectation.

Yes I would expect a thank you but not two days after the event. People often get thank you cards made and sent weeks later.

I once gave a generous cash wedding gift several time the value of your voucher and didn't get a thank you for months. I was a bit out out!

I went to two weddings last year - one being my own sister- and didn’t receive any thank you cards or messages. Still annoys me.
But yes, give them more time!

We used one of our wedding photos for our thank you cards, so they weren’t sent out until a couple of weeks after the wedding (got the photos, chose one, chose a thank you card, ordered them, wrote them all out and then posted them)

The last one I went to they only sent a very generic email to everyone saying thank you two or three months after the wedding. I saw her lots before this. I think it's incredibly rude.