AIBU to hire a skip and ditch his stuff?

[GlitteryRainbow]

After 7 years separated and being divorced since before Christmas, my exDH finally brought a house. The arrangement through the solicitors was he got all his stuff out and then got the money for his half of the house. He was supposed to leave his key. I agreed that he could leave the stuff in the garage because we’d need to sort through it together and it’s a lot of stuff.

Saturday afternoon I’m getting ready to visit a friend and my daughter appears in my room. We’re here to collect more stuff she announces. Which was a surprise to me. It messes up my getting ready as I can’t leave wearing what I wanted to.

Sunday I’m driving home get a message from my daughter, we’re on the way to your house. Which again is a surprise. I’m not sure what there is left to take. In the evening it’s hot so I go to open the window in the spare room and find it’s full of his stuff and the mattress is gone. He’s even moved some stuff from the hall that I thought he’d taken, in there.

I call him raging reminding him that he was supposed to get everything out Friday and return my key. He said he couldn’t because he had the kids. 1. They were at school. 2. You’ve had months to pack. He says right I’m coming over. I said you can’t I’m going to bed soon. He says I’ll only be half an hour but I know that won’t make a dent on the stuff he hasn’t taken. I said I’ve locked the doors and I won’t let you in. You can’t just turn up when you want, it’s my house now.

AIBU to hire a skip to throw all his stuff out? His deadline was Friday and he’s been back at least Twice since. I need to get one anyone because I’ve been left with all the crap he didn’t want. I thought it would all be over Friday but it’s just the start of another battle. Apologies for the long post.

Legally, I don't think you can just chuck his stuff in a skip.
However, I would get a skip for all the rubbish. Tell him that you have put all his stuff outside ready for him to collect and that as he is now aware of this, it won't be your responsibility if it goes missing.
I'm sure that is probably against the law as well, but like you I would feel frustrated.

Does your daughter live with him....why was she moving his things around your house?

You presumably know he hasn’t packed so wasn’t in a place to collect everything at the weekend so it won’t be a surprise to you that it’s still here. I also don’t understand why you couldn’t leave wearing whatever you wanted when he was there.

In terms of his stuff I don’t think you can just skip it without warning. I’d give him a deadline clearly saying if his property isn’t removed by then you’ll dispose of it. That way he’s had fair warning. I’d also be changing the locks.

No you can’t just skip it. Give him till the end of today with warning and tell him if it’s not gone you will put in the front garden you also want your key back.

For not much more than the cost of a skip you can probably hire 2 men and a van to take it round to his house

I know you shouldn’t have to pay but it would get rid of it quickly

Yes like PP said you didn’t need to change your plans if he wanted to access his property

What were you wearing?

What were you wearing?

Legally he was supposed to move all his stuff out Friday so doesn’t that make anything left behind mine? I’m allowed to throw my own stuff out.

kids are 50/50 and has he has half term week off so they chose to be with him. Daughter wasn’t here on her own ex/H was here with her moving stuff.

Hiring a skip is unnecessary drama and cost .

Just put his stuff out the front and tell him in advance .

If he doesn’t collect it then other people will take it anyway .

He’d been packing all week and there were boxes everywhere so I thought he had packed. I’d not be into the spare room where he slept so didn’t know he’d not packed that stuff.

I didn’t want him to see what I was wearing.

He had a deadline to move out provided by the solicitor. So isn’t everything left behind, mine?

Well obviously you need to change the locks.

As pp said, skips are expensive, so not worth the legal hassle of going that route. Is this week going to be ‘difficult’ as it’s half term?

Either way, tell him - one more trip for him and it’s done. I would give him until Thursday to arrange that at a time convenient for you.

Thereafter, the locks are changed, his stuff is out, and the only contact you have is about the dc.

Why didn't you want him to see what you were wearing?

Put it in boxes in the front garden , change the locks- end of drama. Changing the locks will be no more expensive than hiring a skip.

I have five suited locks so suspect it might be more expensive than a skip.

I was going to wear a skirt, blouse and heels.

I need to hire a skip anyway to get rid of 20 years accumulated junk.

Yes she did if she wanted to supervise it, as was the plan and in her house.

He messaged today and asked to collect his stuff. He came back and took another car load. There’s still loads of stuff here though. I don’t know why he didn’t/doesn’t hire a van rather than just using a car.

I think the "what you were wearing" is a red herring - he shouldn't have used your daughter to tell you he was arriving with no warning but you should have turned them away if it wasn't a convenient time. He needs to make advanced arrangements with you to access the inside of the house, not just arrive whenever it comes up his hump.

Not sure why people are saying no you can't. A deadline was agreed, it's over that deadline now. So you can do what you like with it. I wouldn't hire a skip though, they can be 300+ just bin bag it and take it to the tip.

Because he doesnt need to. This annoys you more.

get your solicitor to send him a letter saying x is the deadline and anything left will be skipped. He csn collect the rest on x date and no other.

They've already agreed a date.

@GlitteryRainbow it's also not fair to make yiur daughter a go between.

He legally obliged to move out in January. I relented for the sake of the kids. All of his stuff was supposed to be gone last Friday it wasn’t. If he’s given another date he’ll just ignore it.

I know it’s not fair to make my daughter a go between. It’s also not fair to leave my house full of his crap and expect to turn up when he wants to collect it. Nor to just leave his stuff that he doesn’t want anymore at my house.

Id probably stil speak to my solicitor before skip. And also get the key back immediately.