AIBU to hire a skip and ditch his stuff?

[GlitteryRainbow]

After 7 years separated and being divorced since before Christmas, my exDH finally brought a house. The arrangement through the solicitors was he got all his stuff out and then got the money for his half of the house. He was supposed to leave his key. I agreed that he could leave the stuff in the garage because we’d need to sort through it together and it’s a lot of stuff.

Saturday afternoon I’m getting ready to visit a friend and my daughter appears in my room. We’re here to collect more stuff she announces. Which was a surprise to me. It messes up my getting ready as I can’t leave wearing what I wanted to.

Sunday I’m driving home get a message from my daughter, we’re on the way to your house. Which again is a surprise. I’m not sure what there is left to take. In the evening it’s hot so I go to open the window in the spare room and find it’s full of his stuff and the mattress is gone. He’s even moved some stuff from the hall that I thought he’d taken, in there.

I call him raging reminding him that he was supposed to get everything out Friday and return my key. He said he couldn’t because he had the kids. 1. They were at school. 2. You’ve had months to pack. He says right I’m coming over. I said you can’t I’m going to bed soon. He says I’ll only be half an hour but I know that won’t make a dent on the stuff he hasn’t taken. I said I’ve locked the doors and I won’t let you in. You can’t just turn up when you want, it’s my house now.

AIBU to hire a skip to throw all his stuff out? His deadline was Friday and he’s been back at least Twice since. I need to get one anyone because I’ve been left with all the crap he didn’t want. I thought it would all be over Friday but it’s just the start of another battle. Apologies for the long post.

I bagged my exDH’s stuff and sent him a text saying it was outside beside the dustbin and bin collection was Tuesday at 10.00am.

He moved it before Tuesday! 😆

Bag it up in bin bags and leave outside. Skips cost a fortune nowadays.nowadays. If he's off work this week, he'll have plenty of time to collect it.

And change the locks.

I know you said changing locks would be more than a skip unless you have a specialist lock you will be able to get them from B&Q or screw fix and you can replace them yourself. I would tell him if it’s not gone by Friday the locks will be changed and anything left will be thrown away as he is past solicitors deadline and anything left is unclaimed and yours to dispose of. If not it will never go plus sounds like he is using it as a way to not fully leave or insert some dominance by not collecting it.

Speaking to the solicitor likely costs more than the skip.

I do have specialists locks, they are suited and to a particular standard. I won’t want to replace them with just generic locks.

Reasonable size skip is £314 got the week.

That’s the bit that will cost the fortune.

There is furniture and a printer. Plus a microwave I’ll need help getting down.

No I don’t think they would take it, nobody wants other peoples crappy old chattels

When my exh left after I caught him cheating on me I double bagged his stuff in black sacks and piled them into the garden. Then I text him to say remove them by weekend or my bil will take them to tip. They were removed in next 2 days. I got the locks changed.

A friend of mine eventually took all her ex’s stuff to a storage facility, rented a unit in his name & paid the first month’s rent - which wasn’t much - & messaged the ex to let him know he was welcome to collect it from there OR carry on paying the storage fees OR default & eventually the storage company’s T&Cs meant they could dispose of it.

To this day she has no idea, & cares not at all, what he did with those options.

Obviously requires access to a van & time to sort it & drive it, but then it’s job done. & no further excuses for the ex to be drifting in & out to yank your chain.

It's worth the cost for the peace of mind. At least it was for me. My ex would come and go without warning. He did it on purpose as he enjoyed unsettling me and playing games with my MH.

If there is a history of abuse, your local Council will have a scheme to help secure your property legally.

Can he organise aday to completely remove the remainder.
Life happens he had the kids so leave and let the guy remove his belongings.
A skip is alittle mean and why go upset the family with that carry on...your kids will now be a go between when you act as you are no doubt.
Unless he is a threat, grow up!

Maybe if you really want the skip tell him in advance by text that you are ordering one to put all his items in.

If he hasn't co operated by xxx amount of days take a picture of it empty send to him and say you have xxx days to come and get everything before I put items in this skip.

You need someone that does house clearances - just tell them what they can take

I think you're better being patient and playing the long game here given you have kids together and you don't want him to be able to moan to the kids 'your mum threw out x, y and z'.

Yes, having him come to collect stuff without making proper arrangements is annoying. But for the sake of a few more weeks it's perhaps tolerable. Every time he comes to get the kids he takes a boot load.

I also wouldn't recommend planning to do the physical labour involved in sorting out 20 years worth of your own stuff in this heat. Plan to do that in late September (but don't tell him that until nearer the time - it'll be much more reasonable to say on 10th Sept: 'I'm getting a skip prior to redecorating - anything you want must be collected by X or it'll have to go as I need the space').