To call police not knock the door

[SleepingStandingUp]

Cnat sleep, so went down stairs for a snack. Heard a thump on the floor and some muffled noise, assumed one of mine had gell out of bed but when I went upstairs it was coming from next door. DH is asleep, as are kids. Woman next door just screaming and screaming. I can hear hi saying something but she just kept screaming.
I've called the police. They have a young kid
I don't know them, I don't know what he's like. They're English isn't great so we're polite but she's quiet usually, shy.

I feel like I should have knocked the door, but if he is hurting her then she needs the police not a fat 40 something who could easily escalate the problem. But the I've done that by calling haven't I.

Fuck.

I don't know if I've fine the right thing or not.

It's gone quiet and that makes me feel sick

Oh I will, and I'll be telling them when last I called.

I called years ago, in a flat. Thought it was next door with two kids. Police came out and all was quiet there but underneath was still going off. Sound travels weird. Obv checked neighbours too and took away bloke below. He was back in a few days but I did what I could

Absolutely. What film has some literally aaahhhgggg aahhhgggggg aaahhhggggfor that long? I heard a thud and nose, walked upstairs, listened at the kdis wall, came
into my room, called the police, waited to get through a few minutes, spoke to the operator who also heard it and it was still going

I’d 100% say you did the right thing calling the police rather than knocking x

@SleepingStandingUp if of happenes again start a voice recording on your phone and give it to the police. That way he will have to explain himself and they have proof if they need it.

it may have been calm when the police arrived but it was not ok and they need to know what she is being left alone with

You did the right thing, we’ve phoned the police on neighbours before due to the same sort of incident. , both stopped when police arrived, everything was calm. The next morning we saw them and they were both sporting black eyes and bruised arms. Still together and probably still knocking lumps out of each other.

Well done for calling the police, OP. You did the right thing.

Many years ago we called the police in a similar situation. My DH would have knocked on the door but we knew the boyfriend was a police officer so it felt important to go down an official route. Even considered that me knocking might be less confrontational. Don't know if we made the right decision as they were still together months later when we moved away.

You definitely did the right thing ❤️

I always worry we'll have the police knocking on our door. I wake up screaming often and it's a really loud, blood curdling scream. Sometimes for a second, sometimes a lot longer. I can never remember my dreams. My husband says it sounds like I'm being murdered!

Hopefully this was the case with your neighbours OP instead of something awful 😔

Get a freaking grip.

Oh I dunno, maybe so she wasn’t sitting freaking out on her own?
Would it be weird to wake your partner when you’re worried enough about something to have called the police in the middle of the night?
Actually don’t bother answering that 🙄

You did absolutely the right thing so dont torment yourself any longer. Many people would have done nothing.

Well done OP. I'd have done the same. Let's hope the lady and kid are ok.

You did the right thing. I hope she is okay.

I'm kind of surprised my neighbours HAVEN'T called the police to mine, for the same reason. My autistic DS has had some horrific screaming meltdowns, I've sometimes hoped someone would call the police just to check-in to make sure it's nothing worse than that!

I wouldn’t admit to anything if you think it’ll escalate things OP. It could just as easily have been heard from detached neighbours the other side or someone passing outside if it was loud enough for the emergency operator to hear.

What makes you so sure it was OP ?

You did absolutely the right thing OP. Thank you for being the person who doesn't think "it's probably nothing" and turns away. One of my DM's neighbours' houses regularly has Police and ambulances visitng. They've all has a letter from the Police asking them to call 999 at the slightest hint of anything. But nearest (next-door) neighbour hears everything (because it's a common topic in the close and she regales what she hears). But she never calls the Police because "she doesn't want to get involved". It absolutely boils my p~ss. I don't live there, so I never hear anything to enable me to call myself. Thankfully, other neighbours are more humane.

I once called the police as I witnessed a neighbour hitting his wife in the garden. The police turned up and both the husband and wife somehow found out it was me so was getting called cunt every time
I went out in the garden which I did call out eventually gave him a piece of my mind which he never crossed me again. I would not hesitate doing it again even if it caused me issues

This. I also think you are great and should give yourself a good pat on the back for calling the police. Most people are cowards who turn a blind eye and let bad things happen on the excuse of “It was not my place” or “I didn’t want to get involved”.

You may have escalated things a bit but if the police attended, you would have helped either or both of them to realise that they may have inadvertently moved from what they consider normal onto clear abusive behaviours.

Obviously domestic abuse only happens once in a life time… so we only get to hear it from just one person a year despite people posting over 100,000 comments a day in Mumsnet… obviously I’m being sarcastic so, more to the point: why the hell do you care if she posted before? The neighbours may be at it again or she may just need more reassurance, no reason not to post “again” even if she was the same person.

He'd have been fine if I had, I just think it was worth us both having disturbed sleep. I would have if it escalated

I've done exactly the same thing.
No regrets.
They arrested him, she was hysterical about that. I understand (personal experience) that the abuse can often be worse once they return, but it also can give someone time to start getting a restraining order.
Unfortunately, they still live next door.
I still hear arguing, but nothing like that night.
I would like to think anyone would heard screaming like that would raise the alarm.
We know that alot of the time people don't because they don't want to be involved, not their business, don't want this anger turned on them, are frightened, don't want a neighbour dispute etc. I have sympathy for those people too.

I've called the police on my neighbours when I heard the womans boyfriend screaming blue murder at her little girl. I had seen him be short tempered and a bit rough with her before but this time was something else. I called the police and the call hadler was pretty disinterested and kept asking "was I sure" and "how did I know it was the little girl he was screaming at". I had to tell them I could hear every word and she soubded terrified poor kid, was only about 7 then. After 3 calls to get the correct house (layouts are funny here) I think they did eventually attend. Boyfriend dissapeared soon after.

What really annoyed me was my BF at the time telling me not to get involved. I told him quite sharply that I wasn't going to have that on my concience now that there was something actually reportable, and if I had to phone them everyday for the next month because he kept kicking off I would. Arseholes like that need to know people are watching and that behaviour is unnacceptable. I remain utterly unrepentant.

Yeah, bf's response would def make me see him differently!