To stop entertaining my kids?

[YouBastardSockBalls]

My kids expect to be entertained every hour of the day, and can never seem to think of what to do.

I am sure I was never like this in 1993!

My mum would often chill for the day if she was off work, and we just played or something. I have lovely parents but I genuinely can’t remember them playing with me or filling every hour of the holidays.

These kids of mine are tween/teen age. They have plenty to do, bikes, toys, loads of outdoor space. They don’t have screens except a tv and games console which they hardly bother with so it’s not that.

This morning we went on a dog walk, then to a local NT place to go on the adventure playground. Got home around 2 and by 3 they were bored.

Is it just me!? Are anyone else’s like this??

I feel like just downing tools, one nice day out per holidays, rest of the time catch up with my own stuff and leave them to moan???

I am often astonished by reading some threads here about how much time and money people set aside for ‘activities’ for their children. And how much time devoted to entertaining their children.
I can understand spending money on classes or group activities eg. Scouts.
But children do need to learn to play by themselves. Or with friends. It encourages imagination.
Parents don’t need to organise every day of a school holiday for their offspring. They don’t. And frankly shouldn’t either.
My parents paid for ballet lessons. And that was it. Once in a blue moon we went to a Safari park. And that was it. We went out and played.
More to the point I suppose my parents couldn’t afford anything more. They never organised things during school holidays. There wasn’t the money.

60's kid here. We were expected to make our own entertainment mostly. We did have more freedom,.very few cars on the road, safe to play out with the other kids on the street. Back then few people had the money for days out etc. Once a year we had a trip to the funfair and that was it.
We did moan that we were bored but my mothers response was either call for your friends, go to the park, tidy your bedroom or stay bored 😆

Society is a bit of an odd mix atm.

on the one hand we have families struggling with COL

but on the other hand we’ve had quite a few threads on mn already this week with parents trying to entertain teenagers

the two don’t add up

many parents I know, including myself, were back at work, increasing hours steadily as the kids got older, to the point that I don’t really know anyone who gets involved with what their tweens are doing, as they’re out at work. And please don’t take that to mean these tweens are on screens or out causing trouble, I don’t mean that, just out on their bikes or meandering round town with friends.

You clearly haven't met my DD!

Let them be bored! We are raising children to think adults pander to their every single need and whim constantly. In addition to this, it’s fine to be bored! It’s one of the biggest reasons why behaviour in schools is so bad. You’ve left it too late with the teenagers but you can start with the younger ones.

on the one hand we have families struggling with COL
but on the other hand we’ve had quite a few threads on mn already this week with parents trying to entertain teenagers
the two don’t add up

could be that those are not the same families?

You have to get good at ignoring the, and accept they will complain. But as you know, if you entertain them constantly they will still complain so what's the difference. If my kids say "I'm bored", I say "sorry to hear that".

I remember very clearly my dad saying this, and thinking, "I don't want to be that boring person." My parents did bugger all with us. My children do like to be entertained. However, I started very early with always having drawing and craft stuff available to play with, accessible to tiny ones even. It saves us again and again because they will both draw or make things peacefully. Thank God. Cheap too. They're very good artists, mainly because of this, I think. I only did this because it's what I would have wanted as a child - my craft supplies were more limited. The mess is another matter...

This made me smile @YouBastardSockBalls
To this day I don't say the word 'bored'.
As a child, 70's, if any of us kids said we were bored, Mum would promptly say,
" I'll find you a job."
A few times of cleaning shoes or beating a rug to get the dust out or hoovering or <fill in dull cleaning job> and we learned to never say the 'b' word.

True, valid point. I think my point was it isn’t just the op, there seems to be a cultural thing that you must entertain your kids at all times, loads of people think it. If I think back to my mum, she was just at work once we were in secondary; and the funny thing is, that worked. You just got on with playing out when you were 11+, families had more income, it was just the norm.

I think they have become accustomed to you entertaining them. It's how you've raised them, but also how society has conditioned parents to raise them so not your fault at the same time. The way we interact with children these days is bizarre in many ways, they are allowed interrupt adult conversations, they don't help out at home, they complain about their food, they expect everyone to problem solve for them. I work with little kids and generally don't play with them, I help them play together or learn to occupy themselves. I don't do things for them, I show them how to do things for themselves. I wish I'd been stronger when mine were young but I guess i was doing what everyone else does and pandering to them. Now I feel they are entitled and they think my time is theirs. Children as young as 2 or 3 should be able to leave their parents alone when they need a rest. They should understand that grown ups need to talk amongst themselves. I think you need to work at this OP, have a routine or code word, a do not disturb time. Let them sit there and stare at the wall if they are bored, they will eventually find something to do. I also think they need freedom to do this, parents who don't let their children play outside or go to a friend's house or the shop alone are training their kids to be dependent all the time. If you want them to leave you alone sometimes you have to give them freedom too.

Don't they go out with their friends? That's what my teens/tweens did a lot. I've always been quite firm on not constantly entertaining them, right from toddler hood, I guess if it's something they've been used to all their lives then it's going to be hard to break.

I’m 46 and kids have so much more entertainment these days - I think that we’re to blame (me and my partner) - maybe we’ve taken them out too much and they come to expect it?

The age in which we let kids go out is going up and up.

I think it’s a skill you have to foster, it won’t happen automatically. If you fill all your child’s time for them they won’t learn to find something to do themselves. I like to do both obviously, if they say they’re bored I’ll give suggestions, I do get whining but then after a while they crack on and end up having lots of fun.

My ex and I come from different cultures. We were invited to 2 Christmas parties one time, one after the other. The English one was totally all about the kids - pin the tail on the reindeer eg, kids party food etc. My exes was totally around the parents, prosecco flowing, steak for dinner, posh sauce. The second party was not only a billion times more fun for the parents, but ironically, also the kids who just ran around together with freedom, rather than being herded up for the next fun game.