To stop entertaining my kids?

[YouBastardSockBalls]

My kids expect to be entertained every hour of the day, and can never seem to think of what to do.

I am sure I was never like this in 1993!

My mum would often chill for the day if she was off work, and we just played or something. I have lovely parents but I genuinely can’t remember them playing with me or filling every hour of the holidays.

These kids of mine are tween/teen age. They have plenty to do, bikes, toys, loads of outdoor space. They don’t have screens except a tv and games console which they hardly bother with so it’s not that.

This morning we went on a dog walk, then to a local NT place to go on the adventure playground. Got home around 2 and by 3 they were bored.

Is it just me!? Are anyone else’s like this??

I feel like just downing tools, one nice day out per holidays, rest of the time catch up with my own stuff and leave them to moan???

You don't mention books - do they read much? I was an eighties kid who didn't have parents who thought it was their job to fill every minute and it just made me read constantly. If I'd complained of boredom they'd have found some gardening I could do.

We did seem to have happier less stressed parents than the ones you see now. We were given the message that we weren't the only ones who mattered - they did too. It wasn't considered child abuse to say "mummy's having a rest and reading her book, go and play". I don't think there was anything wrong with that.

My parents said the exact same thing 🤣

I was an only child with no family nearby so I didn’t have siblings or cousins to rely on - I read a lot of books, played imaginary games, played card games on my own, did a lot of baking, rode my bike and generally kept myself occupied.

Like other PP’s if I was too bored and whingy I was quickly given a list of jobs to be getting on with!

next time they complain about being bored, show them some studies why it's important and let them be bored.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11169528/

Or housework, there are always some chores to do.

Mine aren’t toooooo bad at entertaining themselves, though there is far far too much tv. It’s just on in the background all the bloody time.

My daughter does constantly ask ‘what are we doing today/tomorrow/at half term?’ Though. Like, every day there has to be some form of major entertainment. ‘Chilling at home’ is not an acceptable answer.

We’ll probably do 2 or 3 things over half term, dealing with boredom isn’t a bad life skill.

if they ask for ideas tell them to tidy their room if they ask again give them a different room in the house sooner or later they will stop asking for ideas and find something for themselves or you’ll have a clean house which is a win

Kids have always been bored. Parents have not always catered to their every whim. That is new. I used to have extreme mum guilt (DD is 19 now) as she was an only child. However, we lived in a cul de sac and she played out with other children from about age 5 and that kept her busy. To be fair that was all she wanted to do in the holidays or on a sunny weekend. She used to get really annoyed if we were going out somewhere and the thought she'd miss out. If it was a rainy day, we accepted that she would play in the house with one or more of the children from the street.
We moved house when DD was about 10 and she was really upset to be leaving this arrangement. She did then start to get bored but she knew that if she forced it, she would be told to tidy her room. She became very good at imaginary play and very creative.

I see it as a failing when mine can't entertain themselves (which is often!). My most curious minded child is the one best at self entertainment as he finds so many things interesting.

I'm old, but I loved school holidays because I just used to lie on my bed or in the garden and read books. From about the age of 8 or 9, I'd be off to the library every week. We were taken out occasionally, but it would never have occurred to parents that they had to entertain us. If we'd said we were bored, we'd have been given chores to do.
Tbh, it's also OK for kids to be bored ..... maybe it will fire up their creativity? Don't rush to fill the space, OP.....let them work things out for themselves.

I would tell mine to read a book or tidy their room.

Mine just play tbh so it’s not a problem I have, but I can imagine it is very tiresome

If my kids say they’re bored, I reply “ oh great! The windows need cleaning.” Or “ the floor needs a hoover.” Over the holidays we have 30 minutes a day minimum of reading and family jobs time. Everyone spend 20 mins tidying or completing a set job. As well as the house being slightly reset, it has many benefits for children. They see they are part of a team and have responsibilities beyond themselves. They learn to do cleaning/tidying, they learn to think about other people and of course, they appreciate the play time more after! Any whining? More jobs!

I would write a list of ongoing house chores (eg empty bins, fold laundry, clean mirrors and windows)
amd also a list of leisure ideas (bake something,colouring, do a yoga video, journal, craft)
and everytime they’re bored tell them to look at the list

I listened to music a lot at this age. Absolutely loved it. And read books. Dc should not need constant entertainment. In life, they need to develop self reliance. There’s only so many times in a week you can tidy your room.

I would say this is quite unusual for this age group. By this age, mine were all about their friends. Hanging out wherever. Most of their friends and town are within about 2 miles walk so I laid down expectations early that lifts would not normally be an option unless it’s pissing down, or I’m going that way anyway. I stopped taking time off work for school holidays when they were about 10.

"Its ok to be bored"

Boredom breeds curiosity. Tell them it's a problem they can solve if they get creative.
Don't find them things to do, don't give them options. Let them figure it our, eventually they stop telling you they are bored because they know what you will say.

I sometimes think parents peak too soon when the DC are young. So many big days out, elaborate birthday parties, big holidays. Nothing wrong with these things, but it doesn't leave the DC with as much opportunity to learn to entertain themselves or enjoy the simpler things in life, or parents with much space to gradually expand the horizons as they get older.

What’s wrong with screens? There’s your issue

My mum always said “only boring people get bored” 🤣

drive me nuts but as an adult I understand what she meant.

Boredom is also a life skill.

It's true for grown ups as well tbh. Went to the beach after a busy work day yesterday. Picked my phone up to take with me....put it down again. Spent an hour on the beach making tiny piles of pebbles and thinking.

If I tell my 10 year old to get off his tablet and entertain himself after school, there will be initial grumbling, then next thing I know he'll be reading, drawing or will have got the (musical) keyboard out.

Nope, my teen son (only child at home) has always happily entertained himself since being very little. It also means he’s very good at organising his school homework without having to be nagged about it.

I have adult step DC and grandchildren and noticed that the parents are constantly entertaining the DGC. Must admit, I find it exhausting as DGD is very demanding and her parents always jump to it. I was shocked when she demanded they sit in different chairs at the dinner table when they visited us recently and they both obliged and moved! She really is the Boss in that house. I don’t think her little brother will get a look in as he gets older. 😂

It's ok to be bored. Children need to fund their own resilience and independence.

I thought this was going to be about young children, I’m surprised a teen is bothering you for entertainment. I’d just tell them to read a book or draw something.

When the sun is out the kids are out, we very often have groups of kids hanging around outside our door waiting for my kids to go out and splash in the river nearby or hare n hounds or nerf war or 123 and in, manhunt all those games i used to play outside with friends, it makes me smile 😊 i honestly think its because my kids don’t have social media so their friends have to come and call for them and play outside, yesterday my DD11 and DS14 spent 5 hours out at the river and i believe they have made plans to meet up and go again today 👍🏻.
the only one i have to entertain through the day is my 2 year old thankfully.

I remember so clearly the day that my dad said this to me as a child too! From then on I was determined not to be ‘boring’ and always found things to do…invent games, languages, read

So let them be bored. If you swoop in every time they utter the magic word "bored", they'll never learn how to occupy themselves or appreciate special activities. You're more responsible for this than social media as your behaviour is creating and sustaining this dynamic.