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AIBU?

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Boyfriend not considering my place in his life?

56 replies

crimsonlake · 24/05/2026 18:14

I would value some opinions on this situation...
I have been with my partner / boyfriend for 4 years, we are in a committed relationship although choose not to live together. He will do anything for me and is the nicest kindest person.
I have 2 grown up sons who live away, he also has one son who lives away.
Yesterday was his son's graduation, I must add I have only met his son a couple of times as he lives abroad.
My bf attended the ceremony some distance away. The ex wife was obviously there and I knew beforehand she was bringing her sister and a friend along.
At the time the only issue that concerned me was I felt sorry for my bf being outnumbered on his side.
During the course of the evening alone I began to dwell on the fact which had not occurred to me before that the ex was given preference and took along 2 guests whereas my bf was expected to attend alone.
Upon bf's return today I asked how it all went and since he mentioned that during the evening celebratory meal she brought along more extra guests...
I went on to mention that I felt sidelined and as a committed couple it would have been nice to have simply been extended an invite, an invite which I nonethless would have declined as I would not have wanted to make his ex uncomfortable.
His response was 'I am not ready for that'
He clearly had not considered me at all and just accepted the situation without considering my place in his life. We have been dating for 4 years I even wear a committment ring, I then asked if his son knew how long we had actually been together? Adding he would rather upset me than risk upsetting his ex wife.
The upshot is there was no argument but after a couple of hours of strained silence he asked if he should leave, I left that up to him...so he left.
I am not a demanding girlfriend, I understand family dynamics and am sensitive to such occassions as this as I had to endure my ex h attend my son's graduation ceremony shortly after divorce.
Aibu to feel the way I eventually did?

OP posts:
PinkEasterbunny · 26/05/2026 20:41

You're being entitled and unreasonable.

After 4 years????

JustGiveMeReason · 26/05/2026 20:58

PinkEasterbunny · 26/05/2026 20:41

You're being entitled and unreasonable.

After 4 years????

About thinking she has any place at the graduation of a 35yr old man she has met twice.
Particularly when it would cause tension as that man's separate parents would both be there.

UpDownAllAround1 · 26/05/2026 21:19

You hardly know the son. YABU

BudgetBuster · 26/05/2026 22:25

PinkEasterbunny · 26/05/2026 20:41

You're being entitled and unreasonable.

After 4 years????

Yes. She doesn't know the son. It could be 20 years... why would she be invited to the sons graduation when she's only met him twice? That would be super strange.

Letsbe · Yesterday 08:20

Life is too short to worry aboit not being sent invites you would yurn down.

hallenbad · Yesterday 08:24

Not the hill to die on but hopefully your point was made and you’ll get through it as a couple.

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