To take my Dd out of school for a day at the zoo?

[Washingmachineneverstops]

Dd is in Primary. We have a tradition that we go to a special and expensive zoo/amusement park each year. Weekends and holidays are far too busy and more expensive. Previously when she was younger and not at school, we’d go during the week and we have great memories.
She has been previously very unwell but has worked so hard this year and been in school every day. Her school reports are excellent, she completes all homework and is top in every subject.

Would it be wrong to have just one, quiet day of us together at our special place?

Deception 😂 have you heard yourself

How would the school know?

I know everyone insists their child will tell but older children do understand and younger children … well my five year old told the lovely ta in his class that I took him to space when he had a hospital appointment!

I wouldn’t it send a message to DD next bull be she doesn’t want go on her birthday

She’s not 5 and not in uk

Our attitude to lying evidently differs.

Have a pleasant day.

As a teacher, I think it’s brilliant for kids to learn they also have autonomy and can break rules that don’t hurt anyone. I do think it’s a life skill to learn to enjoy yourself!

Hope you and she have a great day out!

No idea where people got the idea she was 5from.
if she isn’t in the UK then there isn’t a risk of fine so even more of a reason to take her.

Do it and enjoy it. From a primary teacher!

Places like that will be heaving with school trips now that SATs are over in England (if applicable). I expect that other countries also do a lot of fun activities towards the end of term as well.

As someone who’s eldest child has actually left school now, I think it’s fine.

I certainly wouldn’t make a habit of it, but for one day in order to be able to do something special I think you are allowed to take control of your own life.

All this worrying what the teacher might think, once your children leave the school you are never going to see the teachers again.

You have to use your own judgement. If a child has already had a lot of time off due to sickness, or if they are behind and missing a day really could be define at then no. But if it was coming up to the Summer term and they’d been there every day then on balance the day out would be more worthwhile.

I agree there’s no need to be rude about it but I also thought that was a bit of hyperbole if I’m honest.

I suppose it depends on how you see lying. Some people see it as in it’s very nature it’s wrong; the second you have been less than honest it’s immoral.

I disagree in my view. I think lying is sometimes necessary and it is sometimes the best thing to do. I’ve lied about days off at work - far from on a frequent basis but sometimes the truth would have been something like ‘I absolutely cannot face coming in today’ or ‘I am just too fricking tired.’

Telling the truth in those circumstances would have been awkward and not accepted but the raw facts were true - I couldn’t come in. But some sort of explanation or reason is needed. And most people will do that really sorry but we do have plans and so on.

Absolutely fine. Just say it’s a family day/ family event.

Right. I suspect many of us were responding with knowledge of UK schools.
Where are you?

Ylu are getting English based answers due to the ridiculous attendance policy in England.

And prsuming shes 5 as she just started school.

You need to follow the rules for your country. They might be more accepting.

This argument is a bit daft - the adults who can choose when to take annual leave are the ones who don't get 13 weeks leave at set times! Those who's occupation is compulsory education have in practical terms more free time than those with only five or six weeks annual leave (I know about how teachers' contacts work before someone lectures me on it not being 13 weeks' leave for teachers), but don't get to choose when they take their annual leave.

I don't think taking a five year old out for one day actually matters, but not because it's comparable to annual leave, just because she's five years old!

In this case ask on a forum specific to the country you're in. People in the UK harbour the delusion that the UK has an unusually strict policy on school attendance, but if you live in, say, Germany and go to the zoo during school hours with a child who is obviously Schulepflichtig you'll have a lot more potential serious problems happening than in a country where home education is legal...

Having been to Legoland on a day in summer term time(random inset day) it was nearly as busy as in the holiday. So if you are looking to avoid crowds, it's probably not worth it.

I mean, do what you want (you’ve already decided to already).

but it’s a bit rich to be worried about the teacher being funny with her. Not that I think they will be, but that’s one of the potential consequences you face and you make such decisions, surely?

I actually hate lying but unfortunately we are sometimes forced to lie due to ridiculous rules.

The attendance rules have become ridiculous and draconian.

Due to some parents whose children have very low attendance and because of government targets. Sensible parents are no longer allowed to use their own judgement and make their own decisions without being criminalised and fined.

I'd imagined myself doing this when DS1 started school, but in reality it always felt too complicated.

I didn't want to pretend he was ill, because then I'd have had to tell him to lie as well, which wouldn't have felt right.

And I knew if I told the school the truth, it would be unauthorised and maybe fined.

I also found that once he'd started school, it was important to me that the teachers saw I took school seriously. Rightly or wrongly, I felt that if I was casual about my child's education, then they might be too. Illogical, but that's how I felt.

This thread is an eye-opener (as a non-parent). I honestly had no idea that parents could just take their kids out of school for the day just to go to the zoo/a theme park? I assumed that’s what the 13+ weeks of school holidays were for?

If schools are approving this kind of absence, then fair enough, but it would never occur to me that a school would do this. (My school certainly never did, in the 1990s. Grandmother’s funeral - yes, day at Alton Towers - definitely not.)

I feel the same @BerryTwister

OTOH, my ds gets very, very little time with just me. At the moment, he’s in reception and his sister is in private day nursery, so in school holidays I get a couple of days with him a week, although she does Mondays and Fridays so we are disproportionately hit by bank holidays.

However, she leaves her current nursery at the end of July and will start at a term time only preschool in September. It’s the right thing for all sorts of reasons but I will miss that time with ds and I feel that we both need it, to be honest.

So I haven’t decided what I’ll do but I do think there is a fair chance I’ll have a day with him next year.

MN is a UK website used predominantly by people living in the UK. I imagine the attitude and rules surrounding taking 5 year olds out of school for a day vary hugely from country to country. You might be better posting on a forum that's based in your country of residence.

@Crushed23 they aren’t approving it, either in the sense that the absence is authorised or in the sense that they approve of it. But you’re the parent; you get to decide if your child goes to school or not.

sorry - deleted . replied to wrong comment.