To take my Dd out of school for a day at the zoo?

[Washingmachineneverstops]

Dd is in Primary. We have a tradition that we go to a special and expensive zoo/amusement park each year. Weekends and holidays are far too busy and more expensive. Previously when she was younger and not at school, we’d go during the week and we have great memories.
She has been previously very unwell but has worked so hard this year and been in school every day. Her school reports are excellent, she completes all homework and is top in every subject.

Would it be wrong to have just one, quiet day of us together at our special place?

@Washingmachineneverstops we took ours out for Lapland UK once and I asked DD not to tell anyone but she told s boy in her class who announced where she had been to everyone including the teacher ! She learned to keep her own council !

Tell them she is ill

I would never take my child.out of school for something like this. It's only one day but it's not a good message about the importante of education in.my view.and doesn't set a good precedent.

If she's going to do this she should be honest about it. She's already said she's not going to lie and say she's sick.

Why?

I am definitely not one of those parents who take their girls out for weeks every year, but they have missed the odd day in exceptional circumstances - a family wedding abroad, a family funeral abroad, 1 day at the end of a holiday where we came back on a Monday. Yes, education is extremely important, but very occasionally there are things which are more important.

But we were honest - our gauge of whether to miss school is that if I can't look head in the eye and justify why it's important, then it's not important enough for them to miss a day. No lying, no messages/emails. And 2 out of 3 times we have done it were authorised.

I don’t agree. It’s a harmless white lie and frankly none of the schools business.

Can something that’s only happened a few times in her life really be called a tradition?

It's not a "white lie". It's a lie.

Some of these animals would be extinct if it wasn't for zoos.

She's not "top in every subject", that's not how school works nowadays 😊!
Anyway, just go, if her attendance is good, it won't be a problem.
But for goodness sake, don't lie or tell her to lie.

Hopefully you won't be there at the same time as a load of school trips!

Good heavens its one day at primary school ring her in sick and go and enjoy yourselves.
Once upon a time when my two were at school you could take up to 10 days authorised leave outside school holidays we took them on the odd cheap holiday for a whole week. shock horror during their early primary years.Children can learn a lot visiting different places.
Have they failed academically hardy both have degrees and high powered jobs despite their odd week off school.

I took mine out at least once a year for similar reasons all the way through primary. This was more than balanced out by paying for a weekly tutor for them and reading with them daily /taking them to museums and the theatre etc

It won't do them any harm as a one off

I never lied though, just told the school what we were doing

It is at her school. They have different levels in each subject taught and she is the highest level for each one. I don’t have any worries educationally about her missing a day, I just don’t want the teacher to be funny about it with her.

She can take the day with no consequences. It won't be a problem.
The OP shouldn't lie, though

I tell the truth ' Freya won't be there on Friday because of we are doing X and it's not possible for it to be on a weekend/school holiday because .......'

Most schools are actually pretty reasonable and whilst they have to tell you it won't be authorised, if a child has excellent attendance, no other concerns etc then they in reality won't be bothered. They are pretty good at telling when people are lying though, and that can affect the relationship between family and school.

Yes, I was just quibbling about "top in every subject", but I can see you mean she's doing well.
It's fine, in all honesty, the teacher won't mind (unless you're going to ask for catch up work?).
The HT won't do anything, it'll go down as Unauthorised, but as it's the only day, it won't matter.

Go out for the day, if that's what you're set on doing, but don't lie about it as some posters have suggested. If you do lie, you're then putting pressure on your daughter to lie to her friends and teacher.

Teacher here - one day at 5 years old isn't going to do any harm. Take her.
But as an aside, I'm curious about this "top in every subject" part. She's in Reception. No teacher would ever say that to a parent and how would they even assess "every subject" at that age.

I would actually call this a white lie, if we go with this definition minor, harmless untruth told with good intentions. They are primarily used to be polite, prevent hurt feelings, or avoid unnecessary drama or awkwardness in social situations.

I personally wouldn’t be honest because - well, I think it creates a bad impression of me and therefore my child.

But I do also think days like this are important. So …

Why is everyone saying she's 5, the OP never said that.

I'm not anti children missing school for a special occasion, but I'm not sure a zoo is a big enough event really to be worth it. You can just go at a weekend to the zoo

What have you don't in previous years? If she has lots of homework and is top of her year she must be 8 or 9 at least

I think lying when the school will probably know it's a lie creates a worse impression.

And it means the child is expected to be involved in the deception.

I remember this being discussed in a court case where I was a juror. The judge stated

The purpose of a white lie is generally to help the person who is being told the lie, such as not telling someone about a suprise party, telling a young child that santa is real etc. It comes with good intentions towards the person being told the lie, and generally with the concept that the truth will be told eventually - the person finds out about the party, a child finds out santa isn't real when they get older etc.

If the lie benefits the person telling the lie, then it's a lie, not a white lie. So in this case, the OP is telling the lie with the aim of not getting into trouble.