What does it take for exclusion?

[Goonie1]

My DC is being bullied. It’s been awful and I’m dealing with it through school and by other routes. This isn’t a post about what’s being done about that.

I was thinking about my time at school many moons ago, and if anyone had done what this bunch had done, I’m quite sure they would be frog marched out of school, never to be seen there again. I raised this and school have said things are very different these days, which had me pondering what it actually takes to be excluded from a school these days. Please share your stories/experiences.

IABU - of course things are more lenient these days, and that’s how it should be

IANBU - the discipline system in schools has gone to the dogs and the system needs to be tougher

If you’re child is a major target I’d ask how school are keeping your child safe and ask for a plan that protects them without stopping them doing anything other kids can. Be clear it’s a safeguarding concern. Clearly get it all in writing.

Have you contacted Ofsted about safeguarding concerns at your child’s school?

My DC was badly bullied and walked out of school a few times due to it. Was excluded for 2 days each time they walked out.

The bullies were never excluded.

About 10 years ago I reported about 3 small things to the police over a couple of months and had a welfare visit, if they aren’t much help i’d keep reporting because if they have multiple incidents on file and something major happened they would be in the shit. So keep reporting.

Could you raise a safeguarding issue with Social Services?

This MIGHT be worth a try with The Police either that or go to the Police & Crime Commissioner

https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/victim-support/victims-right-review-scheme/

for context I was 11. One of my bullies was adopted and the family had fallen on hard times, the other was living with her grandparents and they had very little money. They targeted me because I was chubby and my parents had a bit more money.

they got away with it for years. I have genuinely never forgotten how badly the school failed me. Escalate it, massively.

Is there SEN involved? My 5 year old was kicked so hard in his chest he has a dark bruise and yet the child won't be removed. I don't know what to do. I'm beyond furious and worried.

How does reporting it to the police spur the school on?
In my experience, police are very reluctant to get formally involved in sanctioning children’s behaviour at school or at home.

I worked in secondary education for 20 years, until 2021, and bullying became more and more of a problem.

If it's got to the point of your DC being physically assaulted and bones broken, or a 5 year old being kicked in the chest and badly bruised, something should most definitely be done. Pex for the former, suspension for the latter.

But honestly, if I could afford it, I would keep my kids home and teach them myself.

School for many children is just something to be endured, and for some it is an absolute nightmare. And it's getting worse ...

I'm so sorry, @Goonie1 , you're doing all the things I would recommend you do. Keep on at them. Sending all best wishes to you and your son. 💐

I am so sorry you and your dc are having to deal with this. My daughter was bullied constantly in years 6, 7, and 8. Death threats, racial slurs written on her books, food ground into her hair. Absolutely nothing was done and I worked there! We removed and home schooled her from the middle of year 8 but what happened still effects how she deals with things now. (She is in her early 30's). I reported the threats and slurs to the police who asked me what I wanted them to do about it and did it need a police case number! They too did nothing.
I think you might need to change schools or, if you can, home school. There is so much more help than there used to be and no need for your dc to feel isolated in any way.

No SEN as far as I know

I imagined that there was some background, but school to tell your parents to leave you behind on holiday, what were they thinking?!

One of mine is autistic and suffered years of bullying. He was beaten black and blue and the perpetrator wasn’t suspended. Apparently his mother was concerned it would affect his self-esteem 🙄 and the HOY had the gall to communicate this to me!

Yes a friend of mine in the force said that. There have been things since that I’ve also reported.

It is very difficult for schools to exclude pupils now. This has been put in place to try to reduce numbers of student exclusions, which is a bit nonsensical to me. If you want to reduce something you should look at the cause of it, not just make it harder to do. If pupils were being excluded previously then there must have been some reason schools were choosing that as an option, presumably they are not rubbing their hands with glee saying "Yay! Let's consign another pupil to the rubbish heap!" I suspect the major reason behind exclusion in the past is where a pupil is causing harm to other pupils/the ability of teachers to do their job/the learning environment generally.

Obviously it's not great for pupils who do get excluded (statistically they end up with fewer qualifications and more likelihood of ending up in prison eventually) but I also don't think it's fair to say serves them right/they should have behaved differently. They are still kids and won't always make the right decisions. Most of the time, children who are behaving in ways which might warrant exclusion need support/guidance rather than just shoving out. TBF, one solution might be that they need a different kind of school, although I am not sure that so far that has worked especially better to turn behaviour around.

Anyway the situation as it is is really shit for everyone. I'm not sure that simply leaving pupils in place when they are actively causing harm is improving their outcomes either.

There is no doubt that some schools were over using exclusion and it has come back to bite all