What does it take for exclusion?

[Goonie1]

My DC is being bullied. It’s been awful and I’m dealing with it through school and by other routes. This isn’t a post about what’s being done about that.

I was thinking about my time at school many moons ago, and if anyone had done what this bunch had done, I’m quite sure they would be frog marched out of school, never to be seen there again. I raised this and school have said things are very different these days, which had me pondering what it actually takes to be excluded from a school these days. Please share your stories/experiences.

IABU - of course things are more lenient these days, and that’s how it should be

IANBU - the discipline system in schools has gone to the dogs and the system needs to be tougher

Id report that to the police
Schools can, do and should PEX for severe incidents

Ex teacher

temporary exclusions (what used to be called suspensions) are reasonably common and are usually for physical assaults, drugs in school, bringing a knife into school, racism, homophobia, setting fire to things etc.

many councils now have a policy of trying managed moves (ie moving the kid to a new school in hope of a fresh start) and other such things rather than permanent exclusion.

Secondary school age. I’ve spoken to my DC about moving but he’s adamant at the moment he doesn’t want to and he says why should he. Morally, he’s right. I’ve said if it continues for much longer I’ll be making the call and moving him.

I have. Police gave me the spiel of what they were going to do and that they are tough in these situations etc etc etc then proceeded to do absolutely naff all. My DC hasn’t even had an apology.

This is (I think) what my friend is getting too. Apparently it needs to be proved that it is sustained and systemic attack/hate crime to get noticed.

Complaints procedure for the school. Unacceptable..

Yes, escalate within the school. Complaints procedure. Governors. Keep being a pain in the arse. Keep going into school and asking for meetings. You need to be a pain in the arse that they want to go away.

ETA ask for a copy of your child’s file. Ask them what their procedures are for requesting a copy of their papers. Pay the admin fee. Review their bullying policy online and quote it back to them!

I work within a LA that works on PEXs and the processes to ensure they are lawful. We did have a recent bullying PEX but the video went viral on Facebook and it was horrific, victim was being strangled so it is also a police matter.

Generally PEXs are hard to evidence and we get a shocking amount through which actually I'm 100% behind why school have PEXed but their paperwork and processes to that point have been poor so the PEX has not stood up on challenge. If there is the slightest hint of heading to exclusions, the paper trail for schools is critical and too many just aren't good at that support before

Oh and get back onto the police. Ask for an update. Ask them what they are doing, by email. Put everything in writing. Look at their complaints policy and follow it.

I'd just go straight to the police. And mean it.

Been there, done that 😕

Been doing this too.

Also done this too.

Seems like I’m doing what you guys would do.

I just really wanted to understand how schools worked these days and seems like exclusions aren’t really a thing anymore which just seems wild to me!

What was the outcome. Chair of governors. Ofsted?

It's almost impossible to PEX now because it costs a school c.£10k per permanently excluded pupil - which is not money in easy supply with tight school budgets! It also has to be justified at a panel with governors, and parents have a right of appeal - if the governors don't feel it's a watertight case they'll overturn it. The perpetrator's SEN needs often seem to take precedence over any victims too - it's almost impossible to PEX a student with SEN needs, even for significant assault. There's also generally not the pastoral staff to really deal with low level bullying, which then escalates. Crap situation all round - it's not that most schools don't care, but their hands are tied

This was a worry of mine because I’m not confident that it would be up to scratch if it ever got to that point.

Scotland has recently put stuff in place to basically make permanent exclusions impossible.

the idea is to keep all kids in education.

see for example here:

https://www.adruk.org/news-publications/publications-reports/data-insight-understanding-exclusions-in-scottish-secondary-schools/

And teachers and senior leadership teams womder why parents no longer respect them.

DD got into a holy grail secondary but there was a minority of 4/5 troublemakers in her year. They disrupted, swore at staff and were suspended when they beat up a girl on the pavement around the corner from the school, hitting her head against the concrete, for hiding a trainer. Sweet fa was done to deal with them and their reign continued for five years.

Happily we could afford to transfer ddnto the independent sector at the end of year 8. They were allowed to the lives of others miserable for another three years. There was continual disruption of lessons and one wonders how many A stars became A's, A's B's, etc. It is completely unacceptable but there is a lack of teacher voices in relation to this. It's liberal excuse, after liberal excuse.

DD was one of three clever girls who moved out. They were not, by any stretch the cleverest, but they all wemt to Oxford and Cambridge. None of the girls who stayed did.

Children are being failed and it needs to turn around. There must be significant consequences.

@Goonie1 I honestly don't know what you do but if goes a long way towards explaining why MH against teenagers is on the rise and I'm not persuaded it's wholly due to social media.

Keep on at the police. This was assault at very least. Possibly gbh. I do feel for you, I was bullied and it didn't stop until my dad got hold of the ring leader and told him if he ever came near me again, he'd kill him.

These boys were awful, it took sexual assault by them and still the school did nothing. It was only that we saw the main culprit while out and I pointed him out to my dad who promptly walked back, grabbed him by the throat and scared the shit out of him.

Schools are utterly useless with bullies.

1- would write to your MP

2- I would sue the school. They have a duty to keep your child safe. They know about the bullying & have not put sufficient precautions in place (eg excluding bully) and your child now has a broken bone.

go to the press

SPEAK OUT

I was bullied at school and the school turned around and said to my mum that it was because of the fact my bullies had less in life than I did, and that for me to avoid it I should stop taking my kindle to school or they should “consider leaving me at home” when they went on holiday.

A friend of mine teaches in a school where a group of three 14 year-old boarders sneaked into a classroom at night. One shat on the floor, another one smeared it on the board, tables and walls. One watched. They got a three day suspension. The shitter has been told he's not welcome back in September. The End.

I’m so sorry that happened to you.
And people wonder why people take things into their own hands like your dad.

Wtf?!

That made me actually want to vom