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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To see benefits as a safety net, not handouts?

382 replies

ForGreyStork · 23/05/2026 14:23

It’s the way benefits are talked about. To me, they’re part of a social security system -a safety net that people may need at different points in life, rather than “gifts” or handouts.
I also wonder whether increasing conditions and restrictions risk undermining that safety net over time.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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6
Plishplosh · Today 21:24

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · Today 12:18

Yes to all of this. There is a myth that people come off the boats and into a council house. I'm currently supporting a family where the woman had a very premature baby 10 days ago via C/S, she has 3 other young DC, she was granted refugee status recently and last week was given three days to leave her property. They obviously couldn't find anywhere and in her post operative state shouldn't have been moving anyway. She is now living in a car near to the hospital her baby is in as the only emergency hotel they can offer is 150 miles away. The doctors have written letters of support to say she is not medically fit to be living apart from the baby, but it has been to no avail. This sort of thing is happening constantly.

That’s awful i feel bad for her, i wonder if she was pressurised to have that last kid or all of them.

Because it seems incredibly unwise for them to have had a string of kids in close succession while her refugee claim is being processed.

Where is the father?

btw I am genuinely curious about this case but I do agree there’s a lot of myths designed to demonise refugees!

Plishplosh · Today 21:35

sashh · 24/05/2026 12:16

They are forever tinkering with the benefits system but they never look at what they could do to help people.

I'm disabled and I have worked on and off since I became disabled.

The 16 hours and NMW is what they seem to be obsessed with.

At one time I could not get tax credits because I was working part time, but because I received about £20.00 per hour I wasn't eligible. Had I been on NMW I could have claimed. My weekly income was the same as if I was on NMW for 16 hours.

I did supply teaching and that made things difficult, whilst I was claiming benefits my rent was paid via housing benefit, but the day I started work that stopped, even though I would not be paid for a month. There was no slack in the system.

I know if you are working then you pay your rent, council tax, etc but a loan for a month would have made such a big difference to me. I almost lost my home due to moving from HB to work and back again.

Benefits should actually be higher, that is one thing they could do to help people not be scared to move off them.

You’re right that they don’t care about the gap in between starting your first job after a stint on benefits. They also don’t care if you can’t afford to buy interview clothes or travel for interviews.

I remember when I was 18 I had a few months on JSA back when you were allowed to work up to 16 hours I think. I declared how many hours I worked via this agency I was with and they cut my benefit completely which was wrong and I had to appeal .

Years later I had tax credits and I called to update my workplace - same wage different job - and due to some mishap they ended my tax credit claim, claiming I earned too much.
I had to apply all over again and it was so much hassle I just left it. Especially as I was going back to uni within 7 months or so.

When they are paying people so little, any administrative mishap /people being jobsworth can have a terrible impact. For some people it’s just not worth the hassle and to keep things simple and the money coming in uninterrupted they’d rather not attempt to move off it.

I hear in Germany and some European countries some benefits are tied to wages, so if you were working previously and getting say 3K a month they’d pay you 80% of that. From what I understand the amounts are higher but more time limited. For those non-disabled I believe this makes sense.

I’d rather give people a decent amount for 6-12 months than have people just sit on a pittance for a lifetime. It’s not good for them and the economy to be long term employed like that.

Because recently I looked online and as a single adult with no dependents I’d only be entitled to getting around £500 a month and I think that’s disgusting considering I’ve worked for two decades. If I was renting I’d get another £600 more but you don’t get anything extra if you have a mortgage. And even then most rents in my area are way above £600.

Plishplosh · Today 21:40

SillydizzyGirl · Today 20:57

It's a difficult problem and one I don't think has a simple,nice or easy solution.

The pro benefits crowd want a system that's simply not sustainable but equally the anti benefits crowd are naive if they think simply cutting off funds will make people suddenly get a job.

I fear that any attempts to sort the issue are going to lead to a horrible outcome no matter what either bankrupting the country or leading to levels of cruelty that history won't look fondly on.

I agree! neither scenario is great but I fear those are the ways we are heading.

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · Today 21:44

Plishplosh · Today 21:24

That’s awful i feel bad for her, i wonder if she was pressurised to have that last kid or all of them.

Because it seems incredibly unwise for them to have had a string of kids in close succession while her refugee claim is being processed.

Where is the father?

btw I am genuinely curious about this case but I do agree there’s a lot of myths designed to demonise refugees!

She arrived in the country with 3 DC, her husband was not allowed to live with her in the same house as he had a separate asylum claim so was housed in a hotel for men type of thing. If he didn't go 'home' every night the hotel would inform the home office and it would jeopardize his accomodation and therefore claim. The baby was not planned as she told me as such, but didn't want a termination. She is extremely traumatized by everything of course, the LA are saying there's nothing they can do as they've given her emergency hotel accommodation so they have done their job. The DM and such paint such a privileged position of these asylum seekers, I literally have secondary trauma from the things I've seen.

SillydizzyGirl · Today 21:47

Plishplosh · Today 21:40

I agree! neither scenario is great but I fear those are the ways we are heading.

Edited

Me too. I wish I had a practical answer but I simply don't and looking at these types of threads it's obvious no one has a way to resolve the issue cleanly.

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · Today 21:50

Another point in case: one mother with 5 DC (all born before she came here) had been moved about 7 times in two years. Each time she was literally given 24 hours notice, the children had been in four schools in 1.5 years. When i.met her she had been.moved to an emergency hotel beside an airport. She had very little money, no cooking facilities and was miles away from everywhere with no car. She was expected to feed herself and the DC from the M&S shop in the airport, which was a fortune. Poor woman ended up in a psychiatric hospital and the DC went into care. I often wonder about her 💔

Allonthesametrain · Today 22:01

It used to be a safety net and it was shameful for anyone to go and 'beg' for welfare. To work was pride, providing for your family and it really was a case parents would do anything to make ends meet, including several jobs all hours, lodgers in an already overcrowded house.

Gradually it's become an entitlement for generations) for some and an alternative to planning ahead having kids because you can claim and don't need to look for work until child is 3, so meanwhile have another and another...

It is generally, at a young age, people from certain demographics as area and religious backgrounds. The birth rate is dropping in other demographic areas but staying the same or increasing amongst the generation cycle of benefits and cultures who prefer larger families.

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