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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To see benefits as a safety net, not handouts?

372 replies

ForGreyStork · 23/05/2026 14:23

It’s the way benefits are talked about. To me, they’re part of a social security system -a safety net that people may need at different points in life, rather than “gifts” or handouts.
I also wonder whether increasing conditions and restrictions risk undermining that safety net over time.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 09:10

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 09:00

Being unemployed was pretty much a short term thing years ago. People working and paying NI did get earnings related unemployment benefits for a period, and there was some stigma attached to people (men) who weren't in regular work.

Our young family got unemployment benefit when DH’s job folded, that was over fifty years ago. It was hand to mouth, but it was galvanising! DH drove a van, worked on a building site, and built up self employment to a reasonable income. We had two DC, couldn’t risk having more we couldn’t afford. I got temporary work to fit round his hours, eventually going back to a permanent job. My friend’s DH worked 8-4.30 Mon to Fri, she worked evenings and Saturdays in a chippy. Another did some bar work. None of us had childcare apart from our DHs and occasionally each other.

I don’t remember any ‘top up’ benefits, there wasn’t even Child Benefit for the first child until 1979. So the alternative to not working for nuclear families like ours wasn’t appealing.

It's not appealing now.

DefiantRabbit9 · 26/05/2026 09:54

Coffeeandbooks88 · 25/05/2026 11:16

Can I point out that autism is a disability? Although I do think if you say you (general you) have autism and it doesn't affect you then I am sceptical if you actually have it. My son is still not speaking much at four and I will eat my hat if he doesn't get a diagnosis. Currently waiting on a DLA decision. Maybe you should apply again?

You don't need to tell me. I know damn well what a disability is. I applied every year for 10 years since my award was taken away to get no each time and appealed every time. My brother (the autistic) just accepted it and moved on.

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 10:02

ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 09:10

It's not appealing now.

That's encouraging given a family such as ours was would get much more help nowadays.

thatsgotit · 26/05/2026 11:28

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 09:00

Being unemployed was pretty much a short term thing years ago. People working and paying NI did get earnings related unemployment benefits for a period, and there was some stigma attached to people (men) who weren't in regular work.

Our young family got unemployment benefit when DH’s job folded, that was over fifty years ago. It was hand to mouth, but it was galvanising! DH drove a van, worked on a building site, and built up self employment to a reasonable income. We had two DC, couldn’t risk having more we couldn’t afford. I got temporary work to fit round his hours, eventually going back to a permanent job. My friend’s DH worked 8-4.30 Mon to Fri, she worked evenings and Saturdays in a chippy. Another did some bar work. None of us had childcare apart from our DHs and occasionally each other.

I don’t remember any ‘top up’ benefits, there wasn’t even Child Benefit for the first child until 1979. So the alternative to not working for nuclear families like ours wasn’t appealing.

Tbf, to the best of my knowledge employment was easier to come by in those days, though?

ForWittyTealOP · 26/05/2026 11:33

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 10:02

That's encouraging given a family such as ours was would get much more help nowadays.

Well maybe but it's swings and roundabouts really. Being on benefits has always been difficult, just in different ways at different times.

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 14:20

thatsgotit · 26/05/2026 11:28

Tbf, to the best of my knowledge employment was easier to come by in those days, though?

I suppose that’s true, but you had to take crap jobs or lose your benefits. I do however think our DC’s generation, born in the 70s & 80s, had far more opportunities in terms of further ed and social mobility. We left school at 15, and went into jobs. DH grew up in a council estate, quite rough, only one of his younger siblings went on to further education. But the next generation of nieces and nephews and our DC was different. They nearly all have highly paid, professional careers.

Their DC, born in this century, are the ones who may now have difficulty in finding careers.

thatsgotit · 26/05/2026 14:30

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 14:20

I suppose that’s true, but you had to take crap jobs or lose your benefits. I do however think our DC’s generation, born in the 70s & 80s, had far more opportunities in terms of further ed and social mobility. We left school at 15, and went into jobs. DH grew up in a council estate, quite rough, only one of his younger siblings went on to further education. But the next generation of nieces and nephews and our DC was different. They nearly all have highly paid, professional careers.

Their DC, born in this century, are the ones who may now have difficulty in finding careers.

Edited

I'd assumed declining a job still meant losing your benefits? I could be wrong, though.

I do agree there was broader scope for previous generations in finding work. I'm Gen X and the jobs market definitely seemed to have better pickings back in the day - and, importantly imo, the colleges and polytechnics weren't masquerading as universities back then. These days it seems to me that the range of opportunites for young people whose skills are in the practical/technical/vocational sphere has dwindled as they're all supposed to aspire to uni now, which imho is misguided and unhelpful.

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 15:06

@thatsgotit our eldest DGnephew is an apprentice electrician, a good opportunity IMO. I agree, Uni nowadays can be an expensive experiment with no guarantees of a career.

whitefluffydog · 26/05/2026 15:10

Ilovegermany · 23/05/2026 14:26

You aren’t unreasonable. Benefits are there for people that need it for a time but not for ever. They are there to help until you can find something else.

There are not enough jobs going round. I have been looking for a job for more than a month. And I usually find one within a week

more people coming in and taking jobs, less jobs to go around , wether for the local or the migrant

whitefluffydog · 26/05/2026 15:11

I don't know how the tax office has so much money to keep giving away....this is very interesting to me...I wish someone with the knowledge to reply to my question with a bit of economics background

SummerFeverVenice · 27/05/2026 14:21

OneSnugGoose · 23/05/2026 16:13

It was a very flawed study.

And excluded any 'work' at all.

So if a Mother worked for a fortnight in a cafe aged 16 and was sacked before she went on to have multiple children starting as a teenager, that couldn't be counted.

She'd 'worked'.

Can you direct me to where you discovered this flaw in the Rowentree study? It seems so obvious and critical a flaw that I truly wonder at the mental capacity of the researchers.

SummerFeverVenice · 27/05/2026 14:22

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 15:06

@thatsgotit our eldest DGnephew is an apprentice electrician, a good opportunity IMO. I agree, Uni nowadays can be an expensive experiment with no guarantees of a career.

Edited

Apprenticeships are as rare as hens teeth ´round here.

NorthernJim · 27/05/2026 14:25

Benefits are propping up UK society and UK economy. They're providing a higher standard of living than is sustainable. It's a ticking time bomb and when it finally goes off the whole country will go into socio economic meltdown.

Apprentice26 · 27/05/2026 14:33

NorthernJim · 27/05/2026 14:25

Benefits are propping up UK society and UK economy. They're providing a higher standard of living than is sustainable. It's a ticking time bomb and when it finally goes off the whole country will go into socio economic meltdown.

Its been planned for 40 years
Its no accident

WaryCrow · Yesterday 09:23

Apprentice26 · 27/05/2026 14:33

Its been planned for 40 years
Its no accident

Totally. I keep saying this. Our economy is not natural and its acts are not acts of god. They are acts of an oligarchic elite. I came across this article recently on how western society is really run. Still very Roman, essentially.

https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/usappblog/2026/05/14/how-oligarchs-dominate-our-democracies-and-preserve-inequality/

It is the nature, granted, of a hierarchical society for the hierarchies to grow and become out of touch, and there has never been such a huge population to manage in human history before. But if you have a large population living in a connected economy, which is what a specialised economy naturally is, then they do form a society, and our elites have GOT to stop thinking of themselves as a breed apart. You cannot impoverish the base of a society and not expect it to collapse: you cannot destroy infrastructure of an economy and expect it to continue to function. This is 101 stuff that the ancient world already knew, it’s not difficult; yet humans keep doing the same things over and over again.

How oligarchs dominate our democracies and preserve inequality | LSE United States Politics and Policy

Voters get a say on some issues, oligarchs can fight against redistribution, maintaining economic inequality.

https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/usappblog/2026/05/14/how-oligarchs-dominate-our-democracies-and-preserve-inequality/

WaryCrow · Yesterday 09:26

NorthernJim · 27/05/2026 14:25

Benefits are propping up UK society and UK economy. They're providing a higher standard of living than is sustainable. It's a ticking time bomb and when it finally goes off the whole country will go into socio economic meltdown.

Weird how the medieval world managed to function without this level of inequality, and how the post war society managed to afford its higher living standards for all, isn’t it.

Rollercoaster1920 · Yesterday 09:33

Benefits are way beyond a safety net. We have Child benefit and childcare hours for most parents, pension for everyone.

JSA is a safety net, as was emergency housing benefit.
Unified Credit makes sense in some ways, but seems to have merged safety net stuff with top-ups and tax breaks that become permanent.

Ilovegermany · Today 02:37

whitefluffydog · 26/05/2026 15:10

There are not enough jobs going round. I have been looking for a job for more than a month. And I usually find one within a week

more people coming in and taking jobs, less jobs to go around , wether for the local or the migrant

I do understand. I have a very qualified friend that has been trying for over 3 years. But age and she has a partner so gets nothing now. I am scared for myself too as I am suffering ageism at work.

Coffeeandbooks88 · Today 10:20

Rollercoaster1920 · Yesterday 09:33

Benefits are way beyond a safety net. We have Child benefit and childcare hours for most parents, pension for everyone.

JSA is a safety net, as was emergency housing benefit.
Unified Credit makes sense in some ways, but seems to have merged safety net stuff with top-ups and tax breaks that become permanent.

I don't see the problem with the childcare hours? It encourages parents or women to work.

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · Today 12:18

ForWittyTealOP · 25/05/2026 17:49

So when people come to the UK as asylum seekers, they go through a long process, during which time they're given an allowance of £49.28 per person per week (reduced to £9.95 if they're housed somewhere food is provided, even if that food is inedible). If they're granted leave to remain they will be given 28 days notice to leave their home office accommodation. In practice, this is often much less because of the time it takes to receive the notice. They will then have to apply for Universal Credit (they won't have been allowed to work while waiting for their case to be heard) and look for private sector rented accommodation. They'll need to find a month's advance rent and deposit. Numbers of homeless migrants have shot up over recent years as the notice period for Home Office accommodation reduced.
In reality, there are no "free houses" for refugees. They have to navigate the same Kafkaesque system as other renters while struggling with language barriers, lack of familiarity with UK systems, UC expecting them to start looking for work instantly, oh and obviously all the trauma involved with being a refugee. Obviously legal aid is available (limited appointments with lawyers who don't know you and only have a short time to familiarise themselves with your case) because what would happen otherwise?

Yes this country is broken. It must be, to treat the vulnerable and destitute as it does.

BBC News - Number of homeless refugees in England soars, BBC has found - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy9y3n43192o?app-referrer=deep-link

Yes to all of this. There is a myth that people come off the boats and into a council house. I'm currently supporting a family where the woman had a very premature baby 10 days ago via C/S, she has 3 other young DC, she was granted refugee status recently and last week was given three days to leave her property. They obviously couldn't find anywhere and in her post operative state shouldn't have been moving anyway. She is now living in a car near to the hospital her baby is in as the only emergency hotel they can offer is 150 miles away. The doctors have written letters of support to say she is not medically fit to be living apart from the baby, but it has been to no avail. This sort of thing is happening constantly.

Rollercoaster1920 · Today 14:21

Coffeeandbooks88 · Today 10:20

I don't see the problem with the childcare hours? It encourages parents or women to work.

Whilst it does enable parents to work - it is still the state taking tax to spend on a particular group. A form of benefits that is not an essential safety net.

Coffeeandbooks88 · Today 16:55

Rollercoaster1920 · Today 14:21

Whilst it does enable parents to work - it is still the state taking tax to spend on a particular group. A form of benefits that is not an essential safety net.

Well some people are going to miss out. Sounds a bit like "I can't have it so they shouldn't either".

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