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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm so huge and fat, I'll be dead in five years

132 replies

AppleJuiceAvid · Yesterday 02:00

In my early 30s, 5ft4 and last time I got on the scales, I weighed 26 and a half stone. Currently on the antipsychotic Aripiprazole (15mg daily) and Fluoxetine (20mg daily). Before that, I was on Olanzapine and Paroxetine. Before that I was on Sertraline. Before that I was on Mirtazapine. Before that I was on Citalopram. Got a parent who has hypothyroidism. At the beginning of the year, I had blood tests after a stomach bug and got told I am deficient in Vitamin D and B12. I was prescribed some Vitamin D to take twice a week, but I have not been taking it consistently. My face is puffy and I get hairs on my chin and a few on my chest. Periods are irregular and when I do get them, they get quite heavy. I'm tired all the time and the house is a mess, but I just have no energy to do anything. I barely manage to get up for work. Got left pelvic pain and left hip hurts when walking. Ankles seem swollen and feel sore when I lie down in bed at night. Get out of breath going up the stairs and too fat to reach my toenails to cut them. I want to lose weight, but just feel hopeless.

OP posts:
Wingingit11 · Yesterday 05:57

@FiveMetresUp it depends on dose and deal- lots of offers for first customers etc , monj.co.uk is a good bet to check. But for about £30-£40 a week to start with that’s £5 ish a day so if you lose a takeaway coffee and one snack you’re there already - or a takeaway a week etc.

bert3400 · Yesterday 06:02

I'm sorry to here that life has been hard on you, but you live in a time when science has developed a drug to help.Not only are GLPs great for weight loss they have also been shown to help symptoms of PCOS. Please get to your GP, ask for help. This may be the start of a new exciting you ❤️

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · Yesterday 06:11

can you try the fat loss injections? I know people find the side effects get unknown but you have said for sure your side effects from your eating habits now are deadly. You said you will die, not might. Please give it a go and the energy will come back to you. I hope you manage good luck.

MynameisnotJohn · Yesterday 06:54

You sound so defeated. What do you want? Have you given up on yourself or can you treat this thread as a cry for help that can be the start of change?
It may feel impossible but you can take a step. See GP about weight loss support. Buy some Wegovy. Tackle one room at home. Do any of those feel manageable? Please take the vitamin D - lack of it can massively affect how you feel. Maybe get your skin out in the sun and go for a 20 minute walk today.
Can you imagine being a few stone lighter and on a positive path in just one year? You can do it.

PurpleFlower1983 · Yesterday 06:57

Get Wegovy on the NHS, you would qualify, it will change your life.

Wickedlittledancer · Yesterday 06:58

Can you afford weight loss injections? I mean this very politely, but the cost of food to maintain at that weight, would be significantly reduced if you went on the injections, which would mitigate much of the cost. Would you consider it?

Rockgrin · Yesterday 07:05

I have PCOS amd I took my first mounjaro dose on Sunday.

I already feel so much better.

TheBlueKoala · Yesterday 07:12

My DS was on Olanzopine for 6 months when he was 14 y old. He got bulimic- no vomiting- he even stole donuts in the supermarket. They called and he sat there crying- a young clerc had paid for the donuts so he could eat them (what a lovely young man- he was reimbursed ofcourse).

Just saying that IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. Antipsychotics can lead to immense cravings- my skinny ds gained 10 kg in 6 months. I think you need to talk to your psychiatrist about this to see if they can change molecules and also put you on Mounjaro because you are obese and should qualify. Sending hugs of support🩷

Bridesmaidorexfriend · Yesterday 07:15

Beekman · Yesterday 02:45

If someone is 26+ stone, they will likely qualify on the NHS (unless you get fatphobic GP who thinks it’s just a case of pulling yourself together). You’re correct about the criteria but with a BMI of at least 60 in this case, that would likely be enough.

Edited

I’ve never heard that and my friend had a bmi over 60. Only specialist weight clinics will prescribe it. You say likely be enough, are you guessing or do you know for certain that this is the prescribing guidance?

PilatesAndLattes · Yesterday 07:20

I’d be coming off the meds ASAP. What good is it having no energy and being fat and depressed? The side effects are outweighing any good they are doing. Then I’d start walking, more and more everyday.

GloiredeDijon · Yesterday 07:26

I have been on pretty much all the same meds as you OP and they definitely make you gain weight, as do the conditions they are used to treat.
Please try mounjaro if you possibly can.
Life changing.

HangingOver · Yesterday 07:30

Mirtazapine is a weird drug. I was INSATIABLY hungry. I ate until I vomited.

Idontknownowwhat · Yesterday 07:31

Your life sounds like mine was a few years ago. Sounds like PCOS is there too, and maybe Obstructive sleep apnoea? I was bone crishingly tired. But B12 deficiency will also do that!

In my case, i got fed up of how shit life became. I was 24 stone at the same height, sick of restarting a new diet every few days, but falling off because i was constantly looking for a bit of energy and happiness because at that stage. Everything hurt, and everything was hard physically.

Please, if you can swing it, just start on wegovy. The cost of mounjaro isnt reachable to so many people, but wegovy is considerably cheaper and almost as good.

I want to be extremely honest with you though. Medication and PCOS will slow your weightloss down, but it will still shift.
My initial weight loss was from having a gastric sleeve, but I ended up regaining over 7 stone that i had lost with the sleeve.

I went on mounjaro in March of last year at just shy of 20 stone, and now im 12 stone 6.

But with thd kind of weight we needed to shift, as that weight comes off youll start to get loose skin and you may get infections in the folds of excess skin and if you end up with a stomach overhang that remains, you may get backpain.... so take care of your skin, and have it in mind youll likely need surgeries when you get the weight off.

I know that the NHS will help with the areas where you get repeated infections but its really difficult to secure the funding for surgery - this isnt for cosmetic reasons but if you have a lot of loose skin that gets repeated infections.
My GP mentioned it when i called for the millionth time because id got another skin infection (but id lost 11+ stone)

But it is possible to turn it around, with the help of GLP1 injections ive managed it. life looks a lot different.

If you need any suppory from someone whos lived it, you can always send me a message. Life can change quite quickly, i promise. I was convinced my weight would kill me.

Buttonsbaby · Yesterday 07:31

I think you need some support. Stop beating yourself up you just need some help. I do think a visit to gp to get some weight loss support and meds would be a good start for you. Can you afford to pay for a one off good clean of your house as a nice clean organised environment will also help your mindset. You are currently in a hole but believe me if you get some support 6 months from now things will look and feel so much better. Can you reach out to any family or friends? If you lived near me I would help you myself. This could happen to anyone but your life can be turned around and things will be so much better for you x

InspectorDefect · Yesterday 07:34

You might also be hypothroid, get your GP to check properly, not the half assed way they normally do. They need to check FT4 not just TSH. It does usually run in families. Insist on actually seeing blood results, don't just think "they're the experts". Because they're not!

ToastyToes101 · Yesterday 07:37

ItsNotMeEither · Yesterday 04:57

OP, my story is similar to yours, I was older, as I'd just let it go on for so long. I got to the point where my weight was going to kill me, one small thing after another going wrong, including diabetes. I'd already had radiation for my thyroid condition and then what really frightened me was a scare with liver cancer.

I saw a random GP at a health centre (I'm not in the UK) and he gently asked if I'd ever considered weight loss surgery. I hadn't. I'd seen TV shows with weight loss stories, but somehow, not connected the dots to me.

I was 117kg and I'm only 155cm if I stretch a lot. I used to plan my days around meals, where to park and how little I could walk as everything hurt. My whole life I had been hungry, crazy hungry. I know I was eating too much, but sometimes after even what I knew was a huge meal, I was still hungry. I knew that wasn't right, but didn't know what to do about it. Like most big people, I'd tried every diet. I'd maybe lose a little and then put double back on.

The day the GP mentioned weight loss surgery, I knew it was the lifeline I needed and I knew I had to make it work, or die.

I came home and cried, talked to my supportive husband and cried, phoned the one friend who I know had surgery a few years before and cried and I found the weight loss surgery threads on Mumsnet and read every word (they were at the end of Thread 2 back then).

The day I saw that GP, he started me on Metformin and it helped a little with controlling blood sugar and I waited to see the weight loss surgeon. She was amazing, never made me feel bad, she was just supportive. She said if I had surgery I would probably lose around 30kg. That would have left me still seriously obese, but not in the 'going to die' range. So I booked a date four months later for surgery. It could have been sooner, but that's what fitted in with work and time off for me.

Surgery has been nothing but life changing, in all the best ways. I lost 53kg and have maintained that relatively easily. Also, for the first time in my life, I'm not hungry! This sounds silly, but it's quite a revelation not to feel hunger (at least, not often). The surgeon explained that the part of the stomach they take away during Gastric Sleeve surgery is the part where the hunger hormone, Ghrelin, is produced. All those years of diets, Weight Watchers, special programs, I'd never even heard of Ghrelin. This annoys me as I feel like the sooner obesity is treated as a medical issue and not a laziness issue the better.

The rest of my family were all pretty normal sized and we did a lot of socialising around food. I made a conscious decision that this wouldn't change. I had my first lunch out with a group of friends just 9 days after surgery. I checked the menu ahead as I was on liquid only for the first two weeks (then puree/soft food). I made sure there was a soup I could eat and had apple juice over ice to feel like I was having a festive drink. I had a great time and went home tired, but feeling so good, it was a hurdle and I'd cleared it.

Now, four years later, I sit very happily at 65kg. I can eat pretty much anything I want, just smaller quantities of it. I can stop when full and if I'm not hungry, I say no thanks to food. And it's not even hard! I don't count calories or anything else, it feels like freedom after dieting for so many years (and failing). I am mindful of what I eat, I do make sure I eat some protein at each meal. If I've had a couple of big days, I might make sure I'm a bit more careful for a few days afterwards, but that's it.

As an example, I rarely eat pizza (just never been a fan), but last night had three decent sized slices of meat lovers for dinner. No regrets. I may have had a couple of small Easter eggs too (I still have a stash), but I didn't then have the biscuits that were offered to everyone. Today, I've had a bacon and egg roll for lunch. I am mindful of carbs generally and also a bacon and egg roll fills me up, so I didn't eat the top bun and I'm typing feeling very full. Some people who have weight loss surgery can't eat this much, but then, there are those who also get into competitive under eating.

Since committing to surgery, I am also a member of a couple of bariatric surgery groups on Facebook for my county and these have been very supportive.

I'm not saying you can't lose weight alone or with drugs (that all appeared after my surgery). Just giving my experience and what worked for me. I just can't imagine that I would have been successful with the new drugs, while still having the part of my tummy producing ghrelin.

I do exercise as well, but not crazily. I have become the annoying person who is happy to walk everywhere and I walk over 15000 steps per day (nobody needs to do this but it suits me) and go to Pilates once a week.

Wishing you all the best with finding something that works for you.

Edited to add: All the body parts that used to hurt no longer hurt! I'm not on metformin, that ceased the day of surgery. Life is great!

Edited

I rarely come on weight loss threads, as I find I get so frustrated by the "it's easy, just eat less and move more" brigade.

But this is a great post, really balanced and informative!

Newnammmme · Yesterday 07:38

Hi op .

two years ago I was a similar weight. (23st? 315lb anyway bmi high 50’s)

I felt like I was slowing down every day, and apart from work I really couldn’t do much beyond sleep and telly watch. When it was getting hot in the summer I had had to do something slightly strenuous at work (well within my job description) and was feeling so dizzy. I really thought I was close to having to give up.

at first I decided it would be really easy to drop calories and move more . So between September and December I did just that , by walking to work instead of driving (it’s only about 1700 steps each way so it was a good start)

for the first two weeks it was awful, then it became part of my routine. By December I had lost about 10lb and I was feeling proud of myself even though it was slow.

then I slipped in a field at work, and hurt my ankle. Luckily it was just some ligaments, however the panic around it and my worry that I wouldn’t walk again - or I wouldn’t be independent and who the hell could pick me up ? Husband could help heave me up from the floor but he didn’t find it easy. Was a wake up call.

I put back on the 10lb I had lost , sitting down and hardly moving for two weeks. HOWEVER I was determined to lose weight, and the gpl 1 jabs were becoming more popular.

I went to my doctor’s and asked him for them. He said that I would need to be referred to the obesity clinic, go on that program and then could be referred on for the jabs (it sounds like this has changed since) and was likely to take over a year to get to that point. I was I acknowledge lucky in that I didn’t have other related problems (yet) I asked if it was ok to buy private and he said yes.

two weeks and £100 later I took my first injection (absolute lie my husband had to do it as I was to much of a wimp the first time 🤣)

the next day I didn’t fancy breakfast when I got up. I forced myself to eat a banana. I have felt dizzy a few times and a bit of sickness and trumps , but that’s my only side effect.

first month I lost 10lb
second month 20lb
by may I was 4 stone down and people started to notice (which was lovely 🥰)

after the first 5 months of 10lb loss per month, I booked a holiday abroad for the family. First time really we had been abroad, as I didn’t really want to be squeezed into an airline seat. It was still a bit of a squeeze but I was 250lb at that point and didn’t need an extension.

started to slow down a bit with the weight loss after that , and most months I lose 5lb now , which really is the perfect weight loss (even though I miss the big losses at the start)

this morning I have weighed in at 204lb. (14.7?) and my bmi is down to 33.

I can’t believe that this is my body now . I can buy clothes in supermarkets and shops, I fit in seats . My husband can pick me up and twirl my round 🤭

I don’t have a goal weight yet. My plan is to get to 180 (12.7st) then reassess. (How I look really)

I can’t get over that this time two years ago I was thinking I would have to give up work , and I had spent most of my day in the hotel room on a trip away (saying I didn’t really like it so might as well stay at the hotel and save on ticket prices for our trip , when actually I was just worried I wouldn’t fit)

the only downside is the cost . I’m on 15mg now which is the best part of £300 per month. However, far from giving up at work , my confidence and ability to move more and be productive has been noticed and I have had a small (60p per hour lol) promotion and I have picked up an extra day a week which covers the cost easily.

it’s not impossible. Even though it feels it now. I’m determined to enter my 40s a healthy weight

good luck

Twiglets1 · Yesterday 07:43

I agree with others saying why not try the weight loss drugs, you may well be able to get them free on the NHS so that is worth exploring, or some people pay for them privately if they don't quite qualify.

The first step to dealing with your weight is to book a doctors appointment, there will be help available (not just the weight loss drugs) and it sounds like you need some support.

Best wishes to you - it sounds hard with everything you are coping with.

Newnammmme · Yesterday 07:43

Ps I’m still on the wait list for the nhs obesity clinic 🤣 so glad I didn’t wait

OldPodge · Yesterday 07:44

I also want to send you some love OP and tell you you are heard and valued here. It’s taken me years to gradually reduce my mental health meds and I’m still over weight. What has helped me most though, is not concentrating on the weight loss, but finding ways to value myself more, it’s not a quick fix. For me a combination of meditation and mindfulness type stuff has really helped. I joined Quakers and went to Buddhist meditation stuff. I’m not saying this will help for you. It did help me see myself as a whole person though, mind, body and spirit and not just a lump of fat on drugs. I’m still on some meds but less. We are all a work in progress I think.

mumofthemonsters808 · Yesterday 07:46

My friend was a similar weight to you and her life has changed after taking weight loss medication.Two years on she is at her target weight the depression and weight associated health problems have ceased.She has a new lease of life.Her anxiety was so severe she hardly left the house there is no stoping her now.Please make some enquiries situations can be changed.

Zempy · Yesterday 07:52

I suspect WLI could save your life.

Have you considered taking Mounjaro?

Vates · Yesterday 08:06

I really feel for you and I often feel the same. I am 21st and on anti-psychotics too. I wish I knew the answer.

NoLifeguardOnDuty · Yesterday 08:08

Go and see your GP again lovely, have all the tests you need and your doctor might recommend re-testing some of your recent ones.
You've mentioned a lot of antidepressants ect, how is your mental health doing at the minute?
I know you're obviously feeling low mood, but generally compared to other medications you've been on?
Can you cut back anything sensibly in your diet to start with and make you feel a bit better in yourself? Even drinking an extra glass of water is really good.

Moveoverdarlin · Yesterday 08:10

Sodthesystem · Yesterday 03:31

Do you like your job? If not, can you afford to quit it?

I'd be buggered if I'd work if I thought I only had five years left. I'd pack it in. Maybe join a slimming world and a gym and commit to serious weightloss too with all the free time.

You might find all the stress has been a big weight gain cause too.

The very very last thing she should do is give up work. It’s the one thing that is getting her up and out.

Her situation would worsen dramatically with no money coming in and no purpose in life.