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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So angry. AIBU the driver who is now disputing he caused crash

173 replies

Eastie77Returns · 21/05/2026 11:03

I was sitting stationery in my car when another driver drove into the side of my car causing substantial damage. He was an elderly man who emerged from the car looking quite confused and buffudled. He was extremely apologetic and we exchanged details. My claim was initially a no-fault claim but the other driver has now claimed that I drove into his car (impossible, I was not moving) and damaged HIS car. This despite the photos showing my doors are caved in and his car barely has a scratch. The incident happened outside a local business but the owners will not release the CCTV footage due to GDPR etc.

This will obviously impact my premiums going forward and NCB. I have been driving since the age of 17 and have never had an accident.

I have this person's number and am tempted to send him angry text message. I know this will not acheive anything. WWYD in this situation?

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 21/05/2026 12:05

Surely the local business could release the CCTV to the insurance company? Or the police? It's just they can to a member of the public? Were there no council owned cameras in the street?

He sounds like someone's probably coercing him to lie as it's so obvious he caused the damage. It's not possible for your door to be caved in if you hit him?

Tempting as it may be I'd say you shouldn't send him any messages. That could backfire and he could claim you're harassing him.

Balloonhearts · 21/05/2026 12:07

Get police to obtain the footage. They can't release it to you but can to police and often insurers.

LostFuse · 21/05/2026 12:09

Balloonhearts · 21/05/2026 12:07

Get police to obtain the footage. They can't release it to you but can to police and often insurers.

They absolutely can and have to release it to people if it contains images of them and requested through a Subject Access Request.

ThreeDeafMice · 21/05/2026 12:10

ThreeDeafMice · 21/05/2026 12:03

You can make a claim against him in court, yes. You do not need to accept your own insurer’s position.

Civil procedure rule 31.12A can be used to force him to ask the gym for the video.

Good luck.

Edited to say - this isn’t really a police matter but you should be able to deal with it quite simply yourself in the small claims court.

Edited

Sorry - CPR 31.17 applies for disclosure orders against third parties. Start there. And you are making an application for third party disclosure under Section 53 of the County Courts Act 1984.

BCBird · 21/05/2026 12:11

Stick to your guns. Let the insurance sort it. Some people are so dishonest.

Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 21/05/2026 12:11

SnappyQuoter · 21/05/2026 11:52

@Eastie77Returns
You have the legal right to get any CCTV that you are in. They can edit it to blur other faces, but they cannot deny you. Make a SAR for the footage containing you and your car during the minutes that the accident took place.

They cannot use GDPR as a get out because you are asking for your own personal data - your images.

Speak again with your insurance company and tell them you are refusing 50/50 and want to go to court. I’d also call the police about the accident and the insurance fraud the guy is committing.

Hope you see this OP and get the SAR in!

Ard · 21/05/2026 12:13

I had the same in a gym car park. Someone reversed into me and I was stationary. I did end up having to go 50/50. It was really frustrating.

3luckystars · 21/05/2026 12:15

Get on to the police today and ask them to request the footage.

Do it now as the gym will just say they deleted it you leave it too long. I know I have been there. I’m in Ireland so things are a bit different but I would definitely call in to the police station today if it was me.

BarbiesDreamHome · 21/05/2026 12:16

Have a look at this

www.gov.uk/data-protection-your-business/using-cctv

BloominNora · 21/05/2026 12:19

Years and years ago my DH was turning left out of a junction onto the main road. There were cars going in the opposite direction, but his side was clear so he began to pull out.

At the exact same moment, some eejit decided to overtake the lorry on the other side of the road and collided with my DH.

Obviously you are not supposed to overtake on a junction and the road was clear the left so we denied liability, as did the other party.

We were absolutely shocked when the insurance company came back with the decision that DH was absolutely at fault. There argument was that because the damage was to the front of our car, but the side of the over takers car, DH had hit him - even though he was already committed to pulling out when the guy overtook.

We did appeal though and in the end the insurance agreed to go 75% / 25% (in his favour still, but at least it was something).

Go back and formally appeal to your insurance company, highlighting the pictures which show the damage to your vehicle is on the side. Also tell them that CCTV footage is available and you expect them to seek it.

Also - you are entitled to access any CCTV footage the gym has of you in which you are identifiable. Those GDPR rules the gym are trying to hid behind is exactly what give you the right to access the footage.

You need to put in a subject access request for it - do it quickly as they may only keep the footage for a short amount of time. If your insurance company still refuse to also request the footage, tell them that you have and you will not accept any decision until that process is complete

ico.org.uk/for-the-public/home-cctv-systems/#rights

From Google AI:

Steps to Request Footage
Identify the Data Controller: Look for signage near the camera that includes a contact number or company name.

Act Quickly: Most businesses only retain CCTV footage for 30 to 31 days before it is overwritten.

Prepare a Written Request: While you can ask verbally, a written SAR provides proof of your request. Include the following:
Specific date and time of the incident.
Exact location of the camera.
Description of yourself and what you were wearing to help them identify you.
Proof of identity, such as a copy of your passport or driving license.

Submit the Request: Send your SAR via email or a traceable postal method like recorded delivery.

What to Expect
Response Time: The business must generally respond within one calendar month.

Redaction: To protect the privacy of others, the business may blur or pixelate other identifiable individuals in the footage.

Cost: Requests are usually free, though some organizations may charge a small administrative fee in rare or complex cases.

Third-Party Involvement: If the accident involves a crime, the police can request footage directly. For road traffic collisions without police involvement, your insurance company or solicitor can often handle the request on your behalf.

Pikachu150 · 21/05/2026 12:24

I had a similar experience years ago. It felt like the insurance company just couldn't be bothered to argue and went for "knock for knock". I was angry but the sums weren't huge so didn't take it further in the end. You could go to a solicitor though.

Lazydomestic · 21/05/2026 12:25

Friend had similar
Your insurance can advise you 50/50 but you dont have to accept it. Did take a while and it did end up in court but judge did rule in her favour

Mandy54321 · 21/05/2026 12:27

Report him to the DVLA, sounds like he should be checked to see if he's safe to drive especially if can't remember driving into a stationary vehicle!

JuliettaCaeser · 21/05/2026 12:27

Any witnesses? This happened to me was stationary and a car drove into the back of me. Luckily was a lovely young mum who admitted full responsibility and told her insurers it was her fault so all went through her insurance

Looneytune253 · 21/05/2026 12:28

we had this and the insurers fought it all the way and we won. The lass was super apologetic on site and (learner) the family were super apologetic about the damage and said ‘daddy would pay for it’. We had a no win no fee call within half a bloody hour and she ended up trying to claim for injury. We were also stationary at the time but in between manoeuvres. There wasn’t even any damage to her car. Anyway we won the court case but was quite stressful

BreezyMintHiker · 21/05/2026 12:29

People are scum.

I got rear ended by a young girl a few years ago as I was waiting to go into a dual carriageway. She got out of her car, came up to me and tried to argue that I had been “hesitant” and that I was pulling forward bit by bit jerkily.

A) Even if I had been (I wasn’t) it still doesn’t excuse running into the back of someone.

B) If I’d been repeatedly edging forwards as she claimed (again, I definitely wasn’t) then surely that would have been even more of a reason for her to not go until I was definitely on the DC and out of her way.

When it came to the insurance claim, she actually tried to say that I’d reversed into her.

No witnesses so we had to go 50/50.

I fervently hope she ended up crashing her car.

Ohthatsabitshit · 21/05/2026 12:36

Dh had this a few years ago, turned right onto the other side of the road and someone rammed him and claimed he’d “pulled out in front of him”. That’s quite hard to do in a huge slow moving people carrier going uphill. The costs were split 50:50 and we had excess and lost ncb plus the kids were terrified. Totally ruined our year as we had to cancel our holiday.

MSDOUBTFIRE · 21/05/2026 12:38

As others have said your insurers will sort this, it will be obvious from the damage and where it who is to blame.

ChequerToRed · 21/05/2026 12:41

As has been said, you have a right to CCTV footage with you in it and you need to make that SAR request, the gym are just being lazy and trying not to get involved by incorrectly claiming GDPR. Tough titty on the gym.
We recently had a similar situation where a now former neighbour reversed into our car when it was parked outside our house. It eventually went to court and we won, and next door’s Ring camera footage was a vital part of our evidence.

tripleginandtonic · 21/05/2026 12:41

Happened to my ds, the insurance company found him to be not at fault.

OneChirpyRoseShaker · 21/05/2026 12:42

Oh this happened to me, someone drove into me on a roundabout, where there was an external witness and then still tried to claim it was somehow my fault. Insurance decided that the damage done to my car could only have been done by him driving into me. Don't worry, if they're lying it becomes obvious to assessors.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 21/05/2026 12:44

Did you actually report the incident to the police? Under the circs I'd report it as dangerous driving or under the influence given they have completely fabricated / have no recollection of events.

AlternateLook · 21/05/2026 12:51

The daft auld duffer doesn't have a leg to stand on. The Insurers know what they're doing, and they can tell from the damage what happened and who's to blame. Don't worry yourself about this.

Therealjudgejudy · 21/05/2026 12:54

Happened to me. I lodged a complaint with the Guards (Ireland) and was on my insurance company like a dog with a bone. It got sorted but I was like wtf??!

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 21/05/2026 12:57

I drove well rode into the side of a car. So front of my motorbike, side of theirs by then stationary vehicle. Insurance found 100% in my favour. There's no guarantee that just because its the side of the ops car that they will find in her favour.

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